Uncomfortable realisations about yourself

[Casperandme]

I've had a couple of these recently, things I've realised about myself that are uncomfortable but at the same time things I wish I'd realised many years earlier.

In particular:

• there are all of these altruistic things I think I want to do one day but it's all bullshit, I don't actually want to, I just fancy myself the sort of person that would want to if that makes sense.
• I'm a gossip and I need to stop.

What are yours?

I'm a bit of a slag

Okay..

I am narcissistic

I love money

I'm judgemental regarding people's occupations and homes

Prone to jealousy regarding my DP's ex wife

I like everything my own way to suit me

Children bore me

I reckon I'd kill humans (not animals or children) if I could get away with it

I cheated on my exH about fifty times including a year long affair with one man in particular - I regret nothing

*How I have loving friends and family is beyond me

I am good at hiding the above

I am nice to people. I'm generous and I'd do anything for my child*

I clearly deserve an Oscar

I hold grudges but if somebody says sorry I'll always believe them, even when maybe I shouldn't
I'm lazy
I'm a slob and don't shower every day
I like my own way
I'm get very envious
I'm judgemental
I love being on my own and drinking wine, mumsnetting and dippnig in and out of box sets but would get the rage of left out of a social event

I talk too much and love attention.
I've been a crap parent at times believing that I was doing everything perfectly.
I hold grudges.

iwill never get to be an indian.(the blond hair,no horse no wigwam and clarks shoes shoulda been indication enough).I am not as "individual"as i thought-cos theres an awful lot of same issues listed in above posts,repeatedly...

I am judgemental
I am a gossip
I dislike my oldest step child for things that she probably needs help with (rather than judgement)
I am intolerant
I spend money when I feel sad
When my husband asks me how much things cost - I lie. Even if it’s taking off a few pounds. When I made a massive effort to be honest - (twice) he said ‘how much? What the...’ so I went back to lying

Apart from these things - I am top

I have imposter syndrome and have had it most of my teaching career.
I can be quite selfish but never with my children. I would give them my last penny. I am stupid with money, find it hard to save and spend too much and then spend loads of time worrying about it!

I can interrupt people and can speak too loudly.

And like the previous poster - I always spend money when I am sad.

I can get very envious and find it hard to move on from it.

I’m very fat and in a lot of debt and I have no excuse for either - literally just due to my lack of self control

I'm very stubborn.

Can be very moody-my workmates know to tell me to get my head out of my rear when I'm like that and that kicks me back into gear.

No tolerance for lazy people.

Find it hard to keep my feelings from showing on my face.

I find my sister really superficial

I am intolerant of incompetence - things have to be up to my high standards - which I can’t meet..,,

I am more materialistic than I make out I am.

I can be flakey as I really enjoy my own company and find social contact exhausting (despite appearing to be a very sociable person)

Every partner I've had has accused me of being cold hearted - I have recently realised that they are right. I find opening up to people very uncomfortable.

Overweight (I don't think I'm obese though) although I do exercise nearly every day, I snack or sometimes getbhungry and have a bigger dinner, so my weight is always up and down. I started exercise nearly a month ago at 10 st 11, heaviest was 10st 12, lightest 10st 8 and now current 10st 10.

I shout - a lot!

I hold a grudge against my mum for kicking me out even though she's being nice ATM

I'm incredibly dull. No spark, no passion for anything.
I'm ridiculously slow at getting stuff done.
I struggle with confrontation so will go to extraordinary lengths to avoid it, to the point where I end up being walked all over.

Purplehammer

That just broke my heart

I'm very selfish but also have shocking double standards so woe betide anyone who acts selfishly towards me!

I'm also incredibly judgemental and unforgiving of human weakness.

God it's a wonder I have any friends!!!

I'm lazy. Seriously lazy. Find it incredibly hard to do anything at all that I'm not interested in, and also waste a lot of money on 'shortcuts' because I cba with lots of stuff.

I bitch about people behind their back and find it hard to keep secrets.

I'm impatient with people who may be struggling mentally/emotionally - I am quite resilient and sometimes struggle with those who aren't as fortunate as me in that way.

I'm a colossal snob. I could give the Mitfords a run for their money on a bad day.

I think I'm smarter than most people I know.

I am struggling with ageing and becoming invisible to men who aren't my (very lovely) dp. Despite this I am deeply judgemental about women who worry too much about their appearance or who flirt with men and consider them shallow and stupid. I'm a massive hypocrite on this one.

Probably a bit narcissistic .

I actually think I’m superior to most people, although I’m really good at faking empathy, I rarely feel it.

• I talk too much

• I get moody really easily

• I butt into other people conversations

• I often end up turning somebody’s story around and relate it to something about me/somebody I know

• I need lots of attention but don’t like being the centre of attention iyswim

• I need reassurance often about what I am doing in work/life/parenting

I am working on all of it but catch myself regulay and then get paranoid that everyone must hate me

I am fat. I struggle to be arsed to do anything about it.
My DH is terminally ill and I don’t miss sex. In fact if I never had sex again I wouldn’t care. I’ve never massively needed it.
People think I am a lovely person. I am actually a massive massive bitch. I remember all wrongs done (even small) to me and my family or friends and I take great pleasure in sneakily causing problems or trouble for the wrongdoers even years later. I have fuelled nasty rumours and stopped people from getting jobs for example.
I’m not proud of any of this.

I can't bring myself to like one of the Mum's at school because she's grotesquely overweight and makes me feel sick....she may be lovely, who knows

I'm lazy when it comes to housework and mundane adult jobs , but I also mostly work extremely hard...it's a weird balance

I often talk too much and interrupt people without meaning to and hate that I do it

I've reached the age where I can't be bothered with people I don't like

I hate that my children don’t achieve easily. I feel it reflects poorly on me.

They would never ever know this and I celebrate every 35% as if it was 90% (because 35 is their 90)

But part of me just wants 90.

Not RTFT. Will have a tootle through later.

I feel a certain sense of smugness and satisfaction when someone who has lost loads of weight regains it. Especially if they are someone who yabbered on about it and said 'if I can do it ANYone can' and waffled on and on about how much better they feel now. Blah, blah, blah...

When they regain it, I am like 'ha ha ha.'

Also, some years back, (late 90's,) this woman at work was blathering on about how much better endowment mortgages were, and how I was a 'fool' for having a repayment one. I said I was more than happy with it, but she said 'you're ridiculous, you can make a fortune from endowments. yada yada.....I will have a payout of about 30 grand in 15 years from now AND I will have my mortgage paid!'

About 10 months or so after she said that, all the endowment shit hit the fan, and she was asked to up her mortgage payment by 10% or so, JUST to have enough to pay the mortgage. Ha ha ha ha ha

I am also quite lazy, hate cooking from scratch, and don't like doing favours for people ... 'can you take me to hospital?' No fuck off. I am not doing a 2 hour round trip driving to the hospital and back, and sitting there with you for a further 3 hours.

Yeah I am a massive selfish cunt.

Disclaimer I would do anything for DH, kids, my 2 BFFs, my folks. No-one else though. Just cannae be arsed!

I would do anything that involved helping animals though.

Maybe I am not a massive selfish cunt after all. Just a bit of one!

I am quite pleased to see I am not the only one who like my me-time and can't be arsed to do fuck-all for people most of the time.

Cunts! All of us.