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I think I've just been fired

433 replies

CinnamonVanilla · 17/10/2018 17:05

Boss found out that I applied for a job with our parent company. Supposed to be anonymous; but I'd have said when it was appropriate. Our HR director beat me to it; in front of a lot of people, apparently.

He took me into a room to say that it was humiliating; and means he no longer trusts me, so how do we move forward. He said my work is excellent but this is a big issue.

He's given me some time to think. Presumably he's expecting my notice this evening. I've been here just under two years so there's nothing I can do.

This has made my anxiety rocket and I don't know want to do.

OP posts:
sheldonesque · 21/11/2018 02:54

op

I'm still here with you. Hold your head high. I've no idea what they are playing at but by God, they are making a hell of a mess of it.

As said before, do not think HR are nice or trustworthy. They will almost always protect the company or fudge the issue in the hope it will all go away. Acknowledge their emails by all means - you do not necessarily have to engage. I think I'd pass it to ACAS too because of your health.

I work for a national. From what I've seen and now am sadly experiencing, you are really not alone. When you are good at your job and do your very best every day, it is heart-breaking and soul-destroying when they set out to break you by allowing some horrid individual's campaign of bullying to continue because of their ineptitude.

I hope your psych appt is very helpful for you.

I wish you well. Flowers

Failingat40 · 21/11/2018 07:57

Thanks for you Cinnamon

This is one thread where I actually hope the tabloids get hold of and report on. The outrageous bullying and Mental Health discrimination is disgusting and blatant.

You are too good for them.

Whoever removed you from the Facebook messenger group is a cunt. That was done to chip away at you. Same with removing your from system access.

They are making it pretty easy for you to get them for constructive dismissal.

Bastards.

Don't let them think they can blame all this on your mental health condition though, you were perfectly fine until they started breaching confidentiality and underhanded bullying tactics. That would be enough to tip anyone over the edge.

HunkyDory69 · 21/11/2018 08:08

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bluebuttonface · 23/11/2018 09:42

Hope you're doing on @CinnamonVanilla Thanks

WellThisIsShit · 23/11/2018 10:41

Well done, really really well done. So glad you’ve submitted a grievance, it’s the best thing you can do in this ridiculous and awful situation they’ve created.

I was bullied and harassed by a company I worked for when I became physically disabled. It was shocking how badly people can behave, and how they’re allowed to do these things by the company. My mental health suffered greatly. It did all work out in the end, I got a good settlement, although I had to use a solicitor as they refused to believe quite how clearly they were breaking the law. I wanted to carry on working for ages into the awfulness, it took me a long time to realize they weren’t going to snap out of it and start to behave like normal, fair, reasonable people again and that I couldn’t get back the relationships they had willfully broken. That hurt a lot. I’d been there a long time though, longer than you. But once I’d got used to the idea that it was about going in the best way for me, it became about negotiating the best settlement, which included money but also an agreed upon reference that was written in advance, and discussed at length so they couldn’t wriggle out of it as they desperately wanted to write discriminatory things into the reference itself! Foul people. And yes, I’m afraid the single worst person was the head of HR, who was so ignorant about disability but also took a gleeful satisfaction in doing harm, way beyond what was necessary or what was in the company’s interests.

In all, I’m very glad I didn’t walk away with nothing, as that would have harmed my future employment prospects, but also because it would have damaged my mental health to have let them do that to me. But the process was upsetting and difficult. The company representatives lied all the tine about what was necessary or what must happen next (eg pretending that they can’t do anything until they’ve forced you to have direct, unsupervised 1 to 1 contact with the manager who is harassing you and who’s behavior continues to be inappropriate, inconsistent, bullying and discriminatory towards your disability and health needs!)..., so once I got used to the idea that I couldn’t trust anything they did or said, it got better.

Just keep saying to yourself, ‘this isn’t forever, this will get better, I’ll get better’

And be very, very kind and gentle to yourself, you deserve it.

CinnamonVanilla · 23/11/2018 10:56

Thanks all - I appreciate the check-in; and I'm glad that things got better for you WellThisIsShit.

No real news from my side. I haven't heard anything from work since the email on Monday that they were appointing a manager to investigate. The deadline for accepting the settlement proposal we put forward is today; but I don't think I'll hear from them.

They went on a staff night out that was awarded to me for my hard work on Wednesday; ironically. I've been removed from the vast majority of work-related systems now (not business essential things like email; as far as I know - I can't bring myself to check - but the things that I do in my job).

I've chased ACAS as I haven't heard much from them; they've said they'll get someone to contact me ASAP. I've started the meds from the psychiatrist; and she's written to work to support me. I'll see her weekly until I'm stable.

I don't think there is anything else I can be doing; but I'm starting to worry about having to go back to work for financial reasons... I'm still not very stable but I do have to pay the mortgage and stuff somehow. My head is a swirl.

OP posts:
CinnamonVanilla · 26/11/2018 10:06

I have been invited to a formal grievance meeting; to answer some questions about specific events and find a suitable resolution. Initially today; but given my health condition, they've offered next week instead.

They'd like me to take evidence; if I have any, and I can take someone with me.

I really don't think I can do this. Neither does my psychiatrist. Any idea what I should do?

ACAS were due to contact them today but the lady didn't seem great; she called me the wrong name for most of the call and it's taken two weeks of the allowed month for her to contact me...

OP posts:
Grace212 · 26/11/2018 10:26

they offered you a meeting today - they wanted to do it on that short notice?!

I'm sorry I can't give concrete advice but I wanted to offer a handhold.

CinnamonVanilla · 26/11/2018 10:37

I was surprised at that too. The ACAS website says the meeting should take place between 5 and 10 days after the grievance is raised; and they're at 10 days today, so I suspect that is why.

I'm falling apart now. It's insane how much hearing from them upsets me. I've got a psychiatrist appointment later; she's told me for now to take extra medication and try and get in touch with ACAS.

I really don't want to have to face them. I know it would be much stronger to do it; but I'm so worried that my bipolar won't settle again... it takes such a long time. I am now shaking. I have struggled all weekend but it kicks off majorly if I see anything to do with work... It took to Friday to be able to sleep for more than three hours.

OP posts:
Grace212 · 26/11/2018 10:40

I don't have bipolar but I do have depression and anxiety so I understand some of what you are feeling. It is shocking when a workplace can have so much power. I'm really sorry this is happening to you, wish I could offer legal advice but alas, I can't.

you might feel more able to see them next week?

KeiTeNgeNge · 26/11/2018 10:56

Defer it to next week - give yourself the time

CinnamonVanilla · 26/11/2018 13:22

Sitting outside the emergency doctors. They're going to give me something to calm me down.

I can't stop crying. I'm sobbing. I can't even really explain why... just that it feels like I'll fail whatever I do and my head can't take this anymore. I feel very hopeless.

OP posts:
Grace212 · 26/11/2018 13:28

may I offer an unmumsnetty hug Flowers

you won't fail at what you do. you have just come up against a really nasty individual and possibly whole company.

Lexilooo · 26/11/2018 17:12

Can you get signed off sick to give yourself some space?

Grace212 · 26/11/2018 17:38

I might have misunderstood but I thought Cinnamon was off sick at the moment, though perhaps hasn't submitted the note?

Cinnamon, I hope the appointment was helpful Flowers

Lexilooo · 26/11/2018 18:06

Sorry, thought I had read to the end but there were a load of extra pages that didn't show until after I posted - ignore me!

bluebuttonface · 27/11/2018 00:01

Another big hand hold here @CinnamonVanilla, thinking of you Thanks
You can bloody do this, you really can. It'll all be over soon. Have you got real life support and someone who can come in the meeting with you?

sheldonesque · 27/11/2018 00:37

Oh cinnamon

I don't know how this works when you are signed off sick but someone might. Can't the meeting be postponed until you feel well enough rather than 'timelines'?

Really big handhold here.

.

Brandyb · 27/11/2018 00:58

Is there an active union you can consult and join?

CinnamonVanilla · 27/11/2018 10:47

Morning all; thanks for the replies and support as usual Thanks

Slept awfully last night; awake every forty minutes or so. Psychiatrist has given me permission to take an extra dose of meds today to try and stabilise a bit, so I've done that. I feel a bit oddly numb.

I am signed off. as they've blocked all access to work systems; they are writing to me via post and a copy via email to my personal email address.

No reply to my message yesterday yet; I'm hoping ACAS have made contact and are sorting it but I'm not confident. The ACAS lady seems very disinterested: she's made it clear that she's just covering for the department during a big change.

Fingers crossed for a calmer day seems all I can do; really... hope you're all having better days!

OP posts:
Pearson8 · 27/11/2018 11:11

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CinnamonVanilla · 28/11/2018 08:40

No further responses from HR or ACAS yet.

They are interviewing for my position today. I'm not supposed to know; of course, but I do. I need to be careful what I do with that info because I don't want to risk other peoples jobs.

I also need to stay calm. I had annual leave booked this week to go and see a friend; explore her city and take some time for myself. I haven't gone to see her yet because I'm worried about how it would look, but I'm debating going to join her today. The break might do me some good.

I can take this to tribunal on 15th December; that's not long away. I'm trying to see that as a positive one way or another.

OP posts:
thetemptationofchocolate · 28/11/2018 09:52

They are interviewing for my position today
They are shocking! How can they think this is legal? HR must be ignorant of the law, is all I can think of.

ghostlygal · 28/11/2018 10:04

I just read this whole thread and god help ya @CinnamonVanilla there is nothing worse then a bully and someone who goes out of their way to attack a hard working employee. I don't get why some people are so spiteful. I've been bullied at work for one of the worlds biggest phone manufacturers and it left me a shell of myself. I actually thought my manager was going to physically assault me at one stage and I ran out of work in fear.

To be honest with you; I think you should wear the cost of a lawyer, could you find one who will do a no win no fee job?

You need someone on your side who will stand up for you. Have any of your colleagues from work reaches out to offer you support?

geologyrocks · 28/11/2018 10:40

I'm actually horrified to read how this has all escalated!!

You should go see your friend OP...to take your mind off things even

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