Well done, really really well done. So glad you’ve submitted a grievance, it’s the best thing you can do in this ridiculous and awful situation they’ve created.
I was bullied and harassed by a company I worked for when I became physically disabled. It was shocking how badly people can behave, and how they’re allowed to do these things by the company. My mental health suffered greatly. It did all work out in the end, I got a good settlement, although I had to use a solicitor as they refused to believe quite how clearly they were breaking the law. I wanted to carry on working for ages into the awfulness, it took me a long time to realize they weren’t going to snap out of it and start to behave like normal, fair, reasonable people again and that I couldn’t get back the relationships they had willfully broken. That hurt a lot. I’d been there a long time though, longer than you. But once I’d got used to the idea that it was about going in the best way for me, it became about negotiating the best settlement, which included money but also an agreed upon reference that was written in advance, and discussed at length so they couldn’t wriggle out of it as they desperately wanted to write discriminatory things into the reference itself! Foul people. And yes, I’m afraid the single worst person was the head of HR, who was so ignorant about disability but also took a gleeful satisfaction in doing harm, way beyond what was necessary or what was in the company’s interests.
In all, I’m very glad I didn’t walk away with nothing, as that would have harmed my future employment prospects, but also because it would have damaged my mental health to have let them do that to me. But the process was upsetting and difficult. The company representatives lied all the tine about what was necessary or what must happen next (eg pretending that they can’t do anything until they’ve forced you to have direct, unsupervised 1 to 1 contact with the manager who is harassing you and who’s behavior continues to be inappropriate, inconsistent, bullying and discriminatory towards your disability and health needs!)..., so once I got used to the idea that I couldn’t trust anything they did or said, it got better.
Just keep saying to yourself, ‘this isn’t forever, this will get better, I’ll get better’
And be very, very kind and gentle to yourself, you deserve it.