I think I've just been fired

[CinnamonVanilla]

Boss found out that I applied for a job with our parent company. Supposed to be anonymous; but I'd have said when it was appropriate. Our HR director beat me to it; in front of a lot of people, apparently.

He took me into a room to say that it was humiliating; and means he no longer trusts me, so how do we move forward. He said my work is excellent but this is a big issue.

He's given me some time to think. Presumably he's expecting my notice this evening. I've been here just under two years so there's nothing I can do.

This has made my anxiety rocket and I don't know want to do.

I liked it, @JimandPam - thank you

I'm nervously checking my email every few minutes; but I'll get passed it. A solicitor helped me write the letter but I've sent it myself because there's a flat fee if they handle all incoming negotiation and just incase I'm suddenly unemployed, I thought I should be careful.

Although my head is swirling and I'm medicated to the hilt; there is a small, noticeable feeling of relief and that I'm a little more like myself, so I'm just hoping to get it resolved fairly and quickly now.

Thank you all for keeping me a little more sane during this

Ok so letter submitted chances are they will do nothing all weekend so don’t get your hopes up. They’ll have to get people together to look at the grievance and that takes a bit of time. Get yourself out and about do fun stuff this weekend and try and forget about it. You’re doing amazingly for a little 🐭!

Well done for getting the grievance letter in. I don't think they will be quick to answer. I don't think you should expect anything more than an acknowledgment for at least a week as they will surely consult lawyers themselves before considering a settlement. It won't be an easy weight but try to focus on yourself in the meantime.

Really inappropriate of the HR dept. You could lodge a complaint because they have obviously broken the rules. Can you document anything? This would give you some backup. They cannot pressurise you to hand your notice in either as you have done nothing wrong. And sorry TeachesofPeaches but HR IS there to protect employees as well. They were responsible for the data breach so they are very much in the wrong.

Nothing from work yet, which is to be expected.

But I've just been removed from a Facebook Messenger group that everyone in my office is in; which feels a bit odd. I know it doesn't matter, but everyone is in there (including people who left months ago), and it's not like there was any activity anyway.

A bit of me wants to email HR again and mention this; but I'm sitting on my hands.

Mental health did improve a little this weekend; which is good. I cannot wait for this to be over.

Make a note in your timeline. This could be seen as good evidence of victimisation - you are only off sick aren't you? Whereas others who have left are still in. Do you have anyone on the 'inside' who could report back of you are mentioned in the group? Would it say "cinnamon was kicked/removed from the group"? I don't really use messenger so can't remember what happens when someone leaves.

KOKO xx

Yeah; it says "the other senior person on my team has removed Cinnamon".

I am only off sick. One week into a sick note; no official correspondence on anything else, not even any acknowledgement of my grievance letter but that didn't go to senior colleague, just to HR.

It just hurts; oddly. I know it shouldn't. It's not even like anything had happened in the group; and it was muted for my own mental health...

Thanks for replying

Well done op, I'm so glad you put the grievance in and that you are feeling some relief from it. Your manager is a disgusting bully and he should not be allowed to get away with his horrible unprofessional behaviour

I didn't mean 'only off sick' in any derogatory way this wouldn't have happened if you were off with a broken leg. They are utter fuckers OP, I'm cheering on your every move.

Oh, I know pinkandstripey no offence taken. I appreciate the support!

Had an acknowledgement of the grievance this morning. It says they'll appoint a manager to investigate and contact me in due course. It does not acknowledge that the letter said it would be against medical advice for me to go through this process; or that we offered a resolution...

Not really sure what to do now. I'm really tempted to get ACAS to take over; so I can try and recover, but I'd have to start the early conciliation process for that to happen so it could look quite hostile.

Quick bump for anyone who might have any advice...

I really thought I was getting a bit more stable over the weekend; but I'm crying a lot now.

How awful for you.

Just wanted to add my support.

I left a job six years ago after a few years of constant low level disability discrimination and bullying. My mental health wasn’t too bad (I have chronic physical illnesses which were the issue) and they gradually wore me down to the point where I was mentally destroyed. By the time I got to the point where there were many meetings with HR and management I was a shell of a person and the anxiety was absolutely unbearable.

I managed to sort out a compromise agreement - this was month or so ahead of our biggest event of the year (think 16-18 hour days for three weeks with one day off, abroad). I said I would stay until the end of the event but they said that I would get the same money regardless due to PILON so I’d be working the event for nothing. I said no and left that week. They told everyone I left because I was sick. I did manage to get a decent settlement though as there was all sorts of wrongdoing and they knew they’d be screwed at tribunal.

From what I’ve seen here, they are not making reasonable adjustments for your disability, and in fact are trying to exacerbate it to force you out. They should know they would be screwed if you took all this evidence to tribunal. The ongoing harassment while you’re off sick is ridiculous.

Have they sent you to Occupational Health yet? They were actually my biggest advocates.

I have no decent advice OP but I just wanted to say how amazingly I think you're doing here - I think so many people would be falling apart. You're incredibly strong, keep your chin up x

My some kind of magic, my GP has managed to get me a proper psychiatry appointment tomorrow morning. It's a relief.

Ignoring HR so far. Deep breaths and waiting through the minutes. I've gone that horrid type of cold where you just can't get warm at all.

I'm honestly horrified at how much this has affected me. Staying aware is taking everything that I've got and I'm so worried that I won't be able to keep it up.

When you say ignoring HR what do you mean. Are they sending you emails in relation to the grievance or just hassling you to speak to your manager ? If it’s the former just ask someone to check what they want as there may be deadline implications.

If they are hassling you, then its time to hand over to ACAS. This has been dragging on for far too long - they breached confidentiality.

I think you're doing remarkably and are a lot stronger than you think you are. When I was in a similar situation I just crumbled and quit. Something I bitterly regret.

Both; but it's a good idea to check what they want.

They've removed me from more of the work systems today. I only know because I got notifications; they made us add our personal numbers as back ups and you get a notification there when your access changes.

I'm collecting myself to just hand it all over to ACAS now. If I can't pull myself together for tomorrow, I'm worried the psychiatrist will advise inpatient treatment and I really don't want that.

Thanks again for the support

They really are shouting themselves in the foot. Why are they removing you from work systems. Is this normal when someone is off sick ? If not it can surely be used against them like constructive dismissal. They are a shower of ***! Is it a big national or a small company ?

Explain to psych tomorrow exactly what’s gone on. And why you’re in the position you are in mentally. And also explain why you think you can manage not being hospitalised good luck. You’re doing so well. ACAS should wipe the floor with them.

I know sometimes threads do descend into chaos but my god ones like this make me feel so glad MN is around. The support and solidarity make me well up a little bit in UnMNetty way.

@CinnamonVanilla I know it still feels like there's a huge mountain ahead of you to climb but wanted you to know as someone with bipolar how much I applaud your behaviour so far - with the help and support of MNetters you've done SO fucking well I couldn't help but swear there.

My mum told me this as regards both men and dickhead bosses and it's proven to be very accurate for 30 years and counting - "one day you won't remember their name"

Keep your head up, you've got this and on days you haven't we are all here!

I know it's really hard and I understand - I have had a very similar situation 5 years ago and I can honestly still feel a shadow of what I felt back then as I was dropped from FB group and had accesses removed. But you will have low points and high points as the relief of leaving a toxic situation kicks in. It really shook me when my workplace nastiness started and I ended up resigning be a use I couldn't take the stress of going through complaints procedures etc while being treated like a leper. I took some time off and started temping and eventually set my own business up so a silver lining I guess. But fuck, it knocked me for six at the time!

Hi Cinnamon.

I've been following from the start, it's disgusting what you are going through. I don't really have anything to add, but in my working life I saw two people have their mental health issues targeted to force them out; and I myself was ousted from a very senior position by my mental health (I've PTSD) being targeted. They were on at me every minute, every day trying to trigger me. I survived two months of it, my DP saw me become a scared, anxious shell. I was having panic attacks constantly. My PTSD (and when I joined the company they asked why) and its triggers were floated around the company, some 20,000 employees where gossip travels like wildfire.

Thankfully DP made me leave, if she hadn't all bets were off, I was thinking of suicide most definitely.

Having your MH systematically targeted in a premeditated manner destroys you. This is what these fuckers are doing to you. You can see this through. You've pushed against it so much.

After I left it took a year to get my PTSD under control, I restarted self harm as I had lost all control and I needed to get it back. I still sh to this day, many years on, and certain triggers are more sensitive following their abuse (which is what this is). Bastards.

Please look after yourself. I guess for having nothing to add I wrote a few words here and there....

And really Cinnamon, you're extremely strong. Reading all your posts has been humbling and I have so much respect for how you're handling this. You're the only person in this mess who has any credibility and respectability. Amazing.