I think I've just been fired

[CinnamonVanilla]

Boss found out that I applied for a job with our parent company. Supposed to be anonymous; but I'd have said when it was appropriate. Our HR director beat me to it; in front of a lot of people, apparently.

He took me into a room to say that it was humiliating; and means he no longer trusts me, so how do we move forward. He said my work is excellent but this is a big issue.

He's given me some time to think. Presumably he's expecting my notice this evening. I've been here just under two years so there's nothing I can do.

This has made my anxiety rocket and I don't know want to do.

Also if you’re in a union speak to them and also get a copy of your work places grievance procedure and start to go down that route once you’ve got your fit note from your GP.

I’m my experience HR generally back up management so you need to go down the official internal grevience/sickness process rather than keep contacting HR directly with support from a union rep if you’re not in a union and join now they won’t be able to support you in this as it’s an ongoing issue from before you joined, you can however ask a friend/work colleague to attend any official meetings with your manager as part of the sickness/grievance process.

Thank you all

Manager has continued being odd; he's messaged my friend today asking her to get me to phone again or "pop in" as he can no longer accept the normal way that we report illnesses (via an automated phone line. Bit weird but how everyone in our department always does it).

Think he just intended to make me log in to my emails to get his number; where he's sent a lot of emails referencing how hard I'm making life for the team by not being at work.

I'm writing up a grievance now and I've been promised a callback from the doctor with a note for work and hopefully some meds. I'll call ACAS again as soon as I've got that; and the grievance notes made so they can help.

Make a note of all of the conversations that you have had with your manager and HR with any email/written evidence (including dates and times). I’d especially keep any emails referring to your sickness absence as that again is harrasment.

Also don’t contact him until you’ve got your fit note from your GP with expected return date, then contact your manager to let him know your expected return date, and ask him for a copy of the sickness procedure and how often you need to keep him updated. You might find that you need to do a weekly check in with him until your return, if this is the case explain as you are of for x reason that this will be via email as you are currently dealing with x issues and won’t be return to work until you are ready. Also read the sickness policy to understand the process and if your absence triggers any formal procedure at work like a phased return ect and I recommend not going back to work until you are ready.

Also when you speak to him explain that as you technically have a disability (mental health issues) you need his support on your return to work and some reasonable adjustments being made on your return as outlined in the 2010 equality act, as these should have been put in place before any preformance review.

Your manager sounds a major arse, so the best thing you can do is follow work procedures and gather your evidence to protect yourself.

I hope your friend is going to complain about your manager too. He seems to be harassing her as well as you.

I've been keeping an eye on this thread from the beginning. You are being treated terribly OP. They are doing so much wrong. I agree with PPs that you shouldn't trust HR as they work on behalf of the business, not you.

You manager is digging himself an even bigger hole day by day. It's crazy that this situation has come about purely because you interviewed for another role and has left you in a terrible state suffering with a disability they were aware of.

It must feel like a big undertaking to raise a grievance but it's the right thing for you to do. I hope ACAS help you with the burden of it.

Point taken on HR; thanks for the heads up. They've just called and said that they've talked to the mental health team and know that I need time off, but because it's a "unique absence", need me to call my manager and let him know. He has a right to ask questions about where I am and how I am doing, and ask any work related questions, apparently.

I will phone him; but I'm just looking at my phone in fear right now. I should have my sick note tomorrow to submit and then I'll start the grievance with ACAS to support.

OP, I can't believe what an awful situation you've found yourself in! You must feel abandoned and victimised.

As far as the call to your manager is concerned, would it help to have some notes written down? It might help if you feel pressured and your mind goes blank.

• Current health situation (how you're feeling)
• Which health agencies you're talking with
• Expected date of appointments
• If you feel capable of working
• How you'd like to keep in touch with the company
• Any work issues you need to hand over
• any questions you have eg can he provide you with absence policy, can he help with a back to work support plan

Don't get drawn into anything you don't feel comfortable talking about.
Don't get into convo about how your absence is affecting the team
Don't discuss any potential grievance

but because it's a "unique absence", need me to call my manager and let him know. He has a right to ask questions about where I am and how I am doing, and ask any work related questions, apparently

I really don't believe this can be right. Can you check with ACAS before you phone him? Or can anyone on here offer informed advice on this?

How the fuck is it a unique absence??

What?? It sounds to me like your hr are making up whatever he tells them. Is it a big company or a small family run affair. Sounds like a farce. Just keep making notes of all the rubbish they are telling you , names dates etc and add it to your grievance. This is the most appalling thing I’ve heard in ages. You’re off sick with a recognised and declared disability and the manager and hr are bullying you. Hope ACAS give you then support you need

It’s not a unique absence! What a load of shit! People go off sick from work for mental health issues all of the time!

Read this op taken from the MIND website to understand your rights and the procedures to follow.

Also here is a list of contact numbers from the MIND website, it might also be worth contacting them for some advice/support

I'd be asking HR for the policy on what constitutes a unique absence and watch them squirm.

I'd also be saying that as your boss is a contributing factor to the reason for your absence HR need to make a reasonable adjustment to their fictional policy.

"Unique absence" generally just means that it's a separate incidence of absence - 2 x heavy colds of one day each, rather than one bout of flu, for instance. It's no reflection on the reason for absence.

(Haven't RTFT, just saw that.)

This is utterly ridiculous OP, I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this. My view is that the sudden need for you to call in, talk to your manager and report on a ‘unique’ absence, is a tactic designed to heap extra pressure on you and ultimately force you to resign.

I can’t imagine difficult this is for you but please do raise a grievance and follow the advice of ACAS etc, there is mounting evidence of bullying and harassment here, all putting you in a very strong position for a settlement or whatever you want. If you are able to log into your emails without your boss knowing, you may want to send any appraisal info/evidence of harassment to your own personal email.

You did absolutely nothing wrong by seeking alternative employment, people look for work all the time, and given your managers behaviour, it’s absolutely no surprise you want to move on, this guy is utterly off the scale.

100% behind you and hope you are doing ok. Xx

@CinnamonVanilla. Hi, how are you today? Your head is probably in orbit. We're here for you lass. KOKO.

Morning all,

I'm still here and coping, thanks @Yoksha - it's lovely of you to check.

I've had no absences ever before this; so I don't really know how they're fitting that definition of unique absence... Currently on hold to Mind to see what they think.

Urgent referral for psychiatry outside of the crisis team is July 31st next year. They apologised a lot and said they'd see what they could do. I haven't submitted the sick note as an 8.5 month sick note is ludicrous (and makes me feel useless). Need to go collect a new one; for a month or so.

Manager has so far left me alone today; which means I'm feeling a bit more okay than I have been. He has hassled friend a bit; I've encouraged her to complain if she wants to.

Will work on ACAS when I get back. This thread and the summaries people have posted have been really useful for making sure I focus on the important stuff and don't forget anything.

Thanks for update. It looks like you just need to get your ducks in a row if you have the energy CinnamonVanilla.
Onwards & Upwards!

I’d recommend using the thread to help you with a time line of when and who said what. You posted here in real time so all references will be as they happened. Use those to make your complaints. I agree get your friend to complain as well. He’s bang out of order harassing her.

Grievance letter submitted; appended with a letter of the settlement we'd accept.

Cross your fingers for me, please

Hi CinnamonVanilla. Decided not to @ you. You might have enough in your inbox without me adding to it. If you check in on your thread of your own volition, cool. You are in control without the need to continue being polite. KOKO

Just seen your update after I posted. 👏

Everything crossed, OP.

Fingers crossed cinnamon

@CinnamonVanilla I am reading this thread in awe. Firstly at the situation your boss has put you on and secondly at your strength. You may feel like you're falling apart but honestly reason back over it all, anyone would struggle and you have somehow found your way through it.

I think a grievance is the right way to go absolutely but obviously your health is the most important.

I just want to highlight that for a big company this is not normal nor acceptable behaviour. I'm only saying this as you seem to be accepting the situation for what it is (which is totally understandable given your health and how much you've been messed around). This reads like a complete shambles and I would urge you to document in writing every step from here onwards.

You may feel like a mouse next to a giant but you are in a strong position given your disclosure of bipolar and your work history until now. You may be a mouse but you have a very large armoury (and an army of mumsnetters behind you!!)

My mouse metaphor reads back terribly but hope you know what I mean!!