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Original poster

Is it "normal" for mother of bride to walk down aisle?

94 replies

Whisky2014 · 07/10/2018 17:59

After all the other guests but before the bridesmaid and brides? Or would she be seated at the front at the same time all the other guests are being seated? Whats normal? Is this a special thing to do?

OP posts:
Original poster
Whisky2014 · 07/10/2018 18:38

Your fiancé's parents though will surely be in there already, seated behind their son?
It is the tradition, observed at more formal weddings. But weddings aren't so formal these days I suppose. well and i thought my mum would be seated with the rest of my family! And my wedding is a little traditional but definitely not formal.

OP posts:
Freshprincess · 07/10/2018 18:41

My mum came in the car with the bridesmaids and came down the aisle with the flower girl, mainly because she was only 2 and needed a bit of wrangling.

If you're not that bothered then let her do what she wants. It obviously means a lot to her.

wildewillow · 07/10/2018 18:41

My mum walked down the aisle with my flower girls, before the bridesmaids, then me and father next.
I'd of had her walk with me but the aisle was too narrow.
It's doesn't matter if it's 'normal'. If you want to do it at your wedding do! It will be very special.

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Original poster
Whisky2014 · 07/10/2018 18:41

My parents are supportive and generous i cannot fault that. She just really took the hump when i was confused. I did say i didnt mind though. When i asked my fiance he hadnt heard of it either. Obv we havent been to many formal weddings :D

OP posts:
Villainelle · 07/10/2018 18:42

Tell her to stop being mental! It's your day, nobody cares about her, she can just get over it.

Original poster
Whisky2014 · 07/10/2018 18:42

Yes it must mean a lot to her. Fair enough :)

OP posts:
MCC85 · 07/10/2018 18:44

I had our 2 Ushers walk both Mums and seat them once all the guests were seated just before my Bridesmaids.
It just seemed a nice thing to do and help signal the start of the ceremony. It was a civil wedding in a hotel of that makes a difference x

workworkworkworkworkk · 07/10/2018 18:45

I have been to few weddings were the mother of the bride walked down the aisle first.

My mum walked down the aisle with me - she gave me away.

MelonBuffet · 07/10/2018 18:46

Tell her to stop being mental! It's your day, nobody cares about her, she can just get over it. Bridezilla much?!

Wednesdaypig · 07/10/2018 18:46

God! Women! Just shut the fuck up Mum, it's the DAD who's the most important parent, MUMS just give birth and do the bulk of childcare and probably have been there through love, angst, wedding planning etc but the dad is a man so therefore has a special role on the special day. Know your place Mum and just sit down with everyone else!

CherryPavlova · 07/10/2018 18:46

How funny, I’ve just had the same conversation with my son as his sisters partner “took my husband out for a drink” on Friday to seek our approval for him to ask our daughter.

It is very, very traditional for the mother to await her daughter at the rear of the church and check all remains well, skirt isn’t tucked in knickers etc. The mother should be the last person to be seated, with her walking down the aisle with the chief usher as the signal the bride is present and ready to begin. Her last action before sitting is (in Christian tradition) to kiss the groom and reassure him all is well.
She then sits and organist begins the entrance music.

SomeKnobend · 07/10/2018 18:48

Won't all the other guests wonder what the fuck she's doing? Does she want a long white dress and a bouquet as well? I'd tell her to get a grip tbh.

ShalomJackie · 07/10/2018 18:49

Actually yes although not part of the wedding procession as such it is usual for one of the ushers to accompany the mother of the bride to her seat prior to the bride being walked down the aisle.

Original poster
Whisky2014 · 07/10/2018 18:50

Jees why are people so dramatic? You have no idea what our relationship is like or what happened in my adulescent years. The crux of it is i thought she was really making a hoo ha over something i didnt think existed. It does apparently and i guess i dont care either way what happens but the way she went about it was just weird. So im fine with her doing it because in the grand scheme of things its not a big deal.

OP posts:
Politicalacuityisathing · 07/10/2018 18:54

In my experience it's really normal for MOB to come down aisle (as described by many PPs) wiith an usher (or other male relative) just before bridal party. Hadn't realised I'd been to so many formal weddings!

I guess it depends if your parents are "hosting" (aka paying) or you are?

But if it's more you've never heard of it, rather than you don't want her to, then it would be kind to accommodate her (assuming no backstory of hideous narcy thunder stealing?!)

Original poster
Whisky2014 · 07/10/2018 18:57

She is a little thunder stealy and she was getting angry and shouty when i said i thought she would just be sitting at tje front. My dad had to say well obv mum wants to feel a bit special so i was like ok. Doesnt make a difference to me but since id not heard of it i was thinking it was just to kind of make an entrance. Me and fiance are paying majority, they said they give us some money and so have fiances parents

OP posts:
BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 07/10/2018 19:01

After all the other guests were seated my mother was escorted by my brother and MIL by BIL to their seats before the processional music started and I came in with dad, followed by bridesmaids. This was 27 years ago and that’s how it had been at all church weddings I’d ever been to.

SenecaFalls · 07/10/2018 19:01

Even if the bride and groom are paying for the whole thing, it's still nice to have some recognition of the parents. And since the FOB usually automatically gets this, it makes sense to provide a little for the mother.

Kay2705 · 07/10/2018 19:03

My mum somehow managed to walk in with me and my dad up the Aisle last minute 😭😭😭. She kept stepping on my dress lool

Lunde · 07/10/2018 19:04

There are 2 things here I have seen

The "big entrance" type - which to be honest I have only seen in cheesy American movies where the MOB makes a big entrance just ahead of the wedding party to special music - this is not normal in the UK

Then there is the UK tradition of an usher escorting MOB to her seat - but this is not necessarily a big entrance but is often fairly low key as the final guest before the wedding starts

InfiniteSheldon · 07/10/2018 19:04

I stayed with DD til last minute so was last person to be seated I went in through a side door as I felt wuerd about walking down the aisle. When my ds git married the bride's DM was sat on her own for quite a while

Tryingtoswallow101 · 07/10/2018 19:10

I had my mum and mil walk down the aisle but only because I had a male ‘bridesmaid’ and he really didn’t want to hold flowers Grin

They along with M-BM walked down the aisle after all the guests sat down. If he wasn’t arsed about walking down alone (with or without the flowers) I wouldn’t have asked them. In fact he suggested it.

I’ve never seen it at any other wedding though - your wedding, your decision.

mostlydrinkstea · 07/10/2018 19:13

I've done a lot of weddings and who comes down the aisle is down to tradition and that can be changed. As long as the bride and groom end up together in front of the priest then how they got there is up to them. I've seen brides come down the aisle on their own, with dad, with dad and stepdad, with brother, with best friend or with mum. I'm not a fan of bridesmaids first but if people want it we can do it. If mum wants to come down the aisle with the nicest looking usher then fine if it keeps her happy.

Personally I like it when mum is at the front to catch and sort out any tiny flower girls and boys and take control if the older bridesmaids forget to do something simple like look after the bride's flowers. That assumes a with it mum. If you have a drama queen mum or one who is away with the fairies then giving her an entrance and finding someone sensible to do the wrangling of tinies and overwrought bridesmaids is a good plan.

Good luck.

SenecaFalls · 07/10/2018 19:14

The "big entrance" type - which to be honest I have only seen in cheesy American movies where the MOB makes a big entrance just ahead of the wedding party to special music

When my stepson got married, there was even a separate entry in the printed order of service; Seating of the Mothers and Grandmothers. I do think this was a step too far into cheesydom, but to be fair, considering our complex family history of marriages and divorces and that DSS was marrying a woman with similar family arrangements, it was a rather complicated and time-consuming process getting all these women down the aisle.

shallichangemyname · 07/10/2018 19:18

I think you are misunderstanding each other. I don't think she wants her own procession or music or a grand entrance. She just wants to be walked to her seat as DF will be with you, and if she wants the tradition she should be the last guest to be seated. But it doesn't have to be a big look at me entrance.