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Original poster

Is it "normal" for mother of bride to walk down aisle?

94 replies

Whisky2014 · 07/10/2018 17:59

After all the other guests but before the bridesmaid and brides? Or would she be seated at the front at the same time all the other guests are being seated? Whats normal? Is this a special thing to do?

OP posts:
SpoonBlender · 07/10/2018 18:14

She's making it up. Seems like a reasonable thing though, any reason why not?

lljkk · 07/10/2018 18:16

My mother escorted me down aisle (my dad had another role at the wedding). My aunt on backup duty in case my mother couldn't make it.

oldgimmer78 · 07/10/2018 18:16

It's not traditional but if you want your DM to walk you down the aisle then why not? If she wants to do it for the sake of having her entrance then that is Hmm

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Weddings
Cyclingforcake · 07/10/2018 18:18

It is a thing at very formal and traditional church weddings. MOB arrives last after all the other guests are seated and is escorted down the aisle by one of the senior ushers/her son/bride’s brother. It usually means the bride and FOB have arrived at the church as she will have helped the bride get ready and may have travelled in the car with the bridesmaids.

Original poster
Whisky2014 · 07/10/2018 18:19

Simply tell her how you are going to have it and where and when you want her seated

Honestly i cant! It wpuldnt be worth it. My dad was also a but confused but as mum went on he basucally told me that its fine if she wanrs to do it. And in the frand schemw of things i really dont care but found the whole situation bizarre. Later dad made a comment about how other people have expectations and this is about what they have done for me and dad gicing me away. I just shook my head and said "no it's not". They just get wrapped up in their own world. Theres been a few other things which are annoying me but not worth the hassle to fall out about. I get she might feel left out since my brother, dad and aunt all have a part to play but ffs why cant she jisy be happy for me, enjoy the day and not make it about her?

OP posts:
Awrite · 07/10/2018 18:19

My bil's parents walked him down the isle. I thought it was lovely.

Be kind, whatever you decide.

Cyclingforcake · 07/10/2018 18:20

Also when MOB gets escorted in, it’s your cue to stop talking loudly to the person 3 rows away and look interested.

funmummy48 · 07/10/2018 18:20

My sister in Law waited outside the church to see my niece (her daughter) arrive, then walked down the aisle with my nephew (an usher) and took her seat just before the wedding march began to play. I thought that was nice. To be honest, I don't think there are any rules anymore, anything goes.

Fatted · 07/10/2018 18:20

My mum waited until everyone else was seated and then she sat down with my brother. It was ages before I turned up though because I was late. Grin

She didn't make a big fuss about it. I think it was more she waited until the end so she could say hello to everyone and welcome all our guests.

Original poster
Whisky2014 · 07/10/2018 18:22

I do thinj its more about her having an entrance. And i said ok but i was confused by the manner it played out. So yeh i hadnt put any thought to it at all and dont mind if she goes in with my brother. She just told me that it was the done thing and id never heard of it before. I can see from pp that it is a thing at more formal weddings. Mine isnt so formal but she can do what she likes.

OP posts:
goodlordwhathappened · 07/10/2018 18:23

My MIL rang the florist and had a bouquet added on at the last minute. When I asked her about it she told me it was for her to carry as she walked down the aisle? Cue confused faces from me and then fiancé. He asked me later about it (he assumed I must have known she planned on walking down the aisle). I told him I had no clue. On the day she rushed to the back and walked down the aisle just as the music started for my bridal party. It was all very odd. She stopped at the front to kiss my husband and make a fuss of him. On our wedding video you can see him and the best man telling her to sit down quickly as the bridesmaids had started coming down (on their music cue). She looked a bit daft in my opinion but it made no effect on my day and I wasn't even fully aware of what happened until I saw the video 😂

I say if you're mum really wants to do it and you don't mind then let her crack on :-)

PillowOfSociety · 07/10/2018 18:26

“I get she might feel left out since my brother, dad and aunt all have a part to play but ffs why cant she jisy be happy for me, enjoy the day and not make it about her?”

Yeah, because weddings are not about parents being proud, playing a part in launching them into a new stage of life are they? And Mums, well they should just put up, shut up, as usual, while male relatives get all the starring roles.

shallichangemyname · 07/10/2018 18:27

Joe66 is right. Traditionally MOB walks in when all other guests seated and just before wedding march/bride and FOB.

Original poster
Whisky2014 · 07/10/2018 18:29

pillow no but she could just go with the flow?

OP posts:
EndeavourVoyage · 07/10/2018 18:29

I was escorted down the aisle by one of the ushers it is traditional as otherwise you would be walking in alone.

Original poster
Whisky2014 · 07/10/2018 18:30

Joe66 is right. Traditionally MOB walks in when all other guests seated and just before wedding march/bride and FOB. yep so this is what she was talking about then. Ive just never heard of it before..or seen it at any other wedding.

OP posts:
SenecaFalls · 07/10/2018 18:30

At my wedding, after the guests were seated the following happened: my step-grandmother was escorted down the aisle by an usher, followed by my grandfather, then my step-mother No. 1 (divorced from my Dad but long tenure as step-mom) came down with an usher, then current step-mother with usher, then my grandmother in a wheelchair being pushed by an usher, then DH's mother with usher, then my mother, escorted by an usher (my brother), my step-father following behind them. These were all done one at a time all the way down the aisle.

This is usual practice in the US, though certainly simpler for brides who don't have multi-blended families.

PerspicaciaTick · 07/10/2018 18:31

I got to a lot of weddings and this,happens about half the time.

flowerlamp · 07/10/2018 18:31

My mum walked down the aisle with one of my flower girls. I think the flower girl was 2 at the time and then my bridesmaid walked down with my other flower girl as I believe she was about 18 months. I then walked down with my dad. It worked well for us due to the flower girls ages. But my parents also separated when I was 4 and I had lived with my mum ever since so I thought it was also nice because of that.

goodlordwhathappened · 07/10/2018 18:32

@Whisky2014 yes I think it usually just happens rather than a big thing. My mother arrived with the bridesmaids and my brother walked her down and sat with her at the front (he is a teenager so no partner/family of his own). It wasn't part of the wedding per se.

MsHomeSlice · 07/10/2018 18:32

she had her turn when she got married! Unless you are keen to break with tradition I'd tell her to sit down and behave herself.

I agree that she could be the last one seated, making sure bride/bridesmaids have arrived, and then taking her seat discreetly, but a whole "walking down the aisle" parade for the MOB...not on my watch!

Original poster
Whisky2014 · 07/10/2018 18:33

I was escorted down the aisle by one of the ushers it is traditional as otherwise you would be walking in alone mmm think this is where she was coming from. I just expected her and my fiance parents to all go in at the same time as guests. Doesnt matter now i suppose just wanted to know. It will actually work out fine if she goes in with my brother and give the queue to the band to start the music for the bridesmaids. I was wondering how that happens

OP posts:
hanahsaunt · 07/10/2018 18:34

I married in 1999. My mum waited until I arrived to check me overand cry then was walked down the aisle by my brother as the last guest before the bridal party. As far as I can remember, it was standard practice for all contemporaneous weddings. It's a lovely thing. I would have drawn the line at her having a bouquet.

shallichangemyname · 07/10/2018 18:36

Your fiancé's parents though will surely be in there already, seated behind their son?
It is the tradition, observed at more formal weddings. But weddings aren't so formal these days I suppose.

desperatelyseekingcaffeine · 07/10/2018 18:36

Yes my mum did this (cant remember about mil). No big entrance or music but my brother walked her down to her seat before the music started for bms and me. She thought that was the normal traditional thing to do and we were happy to go along with it. No big deal and they'd been very supportive even though we weren't marrying in church as they felt we should.