To think life is overrated

[dexent]

You're born without having a choice. Then you live a life. Some of it might be good, some of it bad. You might get a lot more of one than the other. Alot of it is out of your hands. You then die. What was the point. This life is so temporary, so fleeting yet we cling on to it so dearly.

A chillingly sad thread.

Unless you believe that the point of life is to behave well enough that you get to sit on a cloud and pluck a harp for eternity or to avoid being reborn as a slug, or whatever, then life is meaningless. In cosmic terms you are a tiny spark that burns for a nanosecond, then dies. But that is actually quite liberating. It means that you don't have to do anything. There isn't a right or wrong way to lead your life. You don't have to put up with the crap other people put on you. You don't have to live up to the expectations of society, parents, adverts, magazines and Facebook. You don't have to be stay in a toxic or unfulfilling relationship. You don't have to tolerate flakey friends. You don't have to brush your teeth before bed or wash behind your ears.

You choose the direction of your life. So be authentically you - and be proud of who and what you are. Every day you make thousands of choices. So make them consciously and choose those that most tend towards a fulfilling life for you.

Just because life is meaningless does not make you powerless. Quite the opposite! It leaves you in charge of your life and free to make meaningful choices for yourself - however you perceive that.

Totally agree. I dont understand why others think that you must be depressed to think this. I think its reality.

“People can say "life is what you make it" but considering that free will is a scientific impossibility, that every event is either predetermined or the result of empty chaos there's not much opportunity to implement changes.”

Your premise is incorrect, Mephistopheles. Science has literally nothing to say about free will. Issues such as this are simply not in the domain of natural science, and scientists do not claim it to be.

“There isn't a right or wrong way to lead your life.“

Surely you don’t believe that, “@MysteriesoftheOrganism”. Or do you find that the way Pol Pot led his life is morally equivalent to that of Raoul Wallenberg?

You don’t have to be religious in order to believe in and follow a moral code. Ethics is not equivalent to theology these days. (I say this as a religious person.)

It isn’t often I wake thinking about a thread I’ve read the day before.

Dexent I totally get what you’ve written. The seeking if the meaning of life is a universally asked question.

My take on it is that life can appear pointless if you haven't found your purpose or feel fulfilled or generally lost your way in life.

When people are least busy, children flown the nest, job loss, illness etc; they have more time to dwell on the inevitable (we all die one day) and ask oneself ‘what is the point’. However, if you’re in the flow of life, feel valued, have opportunities to nurture and be nurtured you don’t have the time or inclination to dwell on the meaning of life.

I tend to go with the ebb and flow of life. I’m a realist and know a generation or two down the line there will be no one around who will remember me. I’m quite unremarkable in my achievements but if those close to me feel loved and nurtured by me ... that is enough.

I was thinking I might nominate for classics. I love the diversity of responses to a question that has troubled me quite a bit these past few years.

Any objections?

Peregrane “There isn't a right or wrong way to lead your life.“

Surely you don’t believe that, “@MysteriesoftheOrganism”. Or do you find that the way Pol Pot led his life is morally equivalent to that of Raoul Wallenberg?

Yes, I do believe that. I don't believe in a moral code handed down by a deity. Ethics is a set rules that reflect the values and beliefs of a certain set of humans at a certain point in time. There is no objective validity to them. And while many values are commonly held across human groups and across time, very many are not. Just think about contentious issues throughout history: slavery, capital punishment, abortion, and the current hot topic of transgender rights. There is no absolute right or wrong.

Like everyone else, I of course have my personal views, and I do not like the actions of people such as Pol Pot. But then I don't like many of the things other people do! Including things that they think are perfectly reasonable. It's just that I do not believe that my views are the absolute truth and are somehow more valid than anyone else's.

Nihilism is the condition which isn’t depression but a general state of feeling that life has no point. There are a lot of nihilistic people out there. People who haven’t managed to get meaning in their lives. I agree that society now has a haphazard way of connecting us. I hate religion but I love the way it unites people and helps people feel purpose and like they belong. Our increasingly secular society is suffering because of this and nihilism is rife.

I get it, despite my previous posts, and occasionally get the feeling myself. I do think pp are right to suggest that some people are born with a sunnier outlook than others, there is plenty of psychological research to back that up.

However, as probably the more ‘sunny side’ type I find it excrutiating that people give up on life so easily. My belief, like others on here, is there is nothing else. So why not try and enjoy this weird mad rollercoaster? There’s literally nothing else to do.

I’ve even had fleeting suicidal thoughts but what pulls me right back out is this is better than nothing. Things can always change.

At least we were given/evolved to have seratonin which gives us a sense of a high. It’s fleeting our life, but so what, you still make an impact in some way, still progress the survival of the species, still have moments of conscious joy (yes alongside suffering)

And when I hear the luck argument, yes it’s true that some people have more luck. But that sounds to me a bit like a “why me?”moan. And my response to myself when I’ve ever heard myself feel that self pity is “why not me?”

I love my life, and think it so precious. I think it really depends on what you've been through. I lost my Mum young to cancer, and my Dad died when I was pregnant with my first DS. My little family are now everything to me, and I always have at the back of my mind that if I die at the same age as my Mum I only have X years left (12 now). That makes me want to live my life to the fullest, and yes shit happens but as long as I have my DH and my kids to love I'm happy.

My understanding of nihilism that it is not always negative.

A belief that life has no intrinsic meaning means that you can peruse happiness, because being happy, in the moment, feels good.

So to me, it is the pursuit of happiness.

Are you feeling particularly sad today or like this all the time? I agree that life can deal you a rough hand and sometimes you can't make things better BUT we must strive to make the best of things.
Life often doesn't turn out like you hoped, I'm afraid. It's how you deal with the bad stuff that makes the difference.
I didn't expect to care for a terminally ill partner or deal with his death then face life as a widow in my mid-50's but there are small compensations. I have my bad days of course but if I felt like there was no point at all I couldn't go on. For my own personal pride I go on putting one foot in front of the other. DH wouldn't want me to crumble. There's no sure-fire cure for feeling low except to just keep on keeping on IYSWIM. All my best wishes are with you and support on forums like this.

I agree with @MysteriesOfTheOrganism wholeheartedly.

I discussed this thread with my adult DC's last night and my DD said very similar. They said they enjoy the life they have and value it, but they don't believe in any deeper meaning. Like Mysteries, my DD said she feels it actually makes you more in control of your life. It was an interesting conversation because neither of them are depressed, they're very happy right now.

A pp commented this post was very sad. I don't find it so, I think it's realistic. My family tends to live in the moment. We don't waste time worrying about what the future might bring. We're actually quite optimistic too. I've learnt over the years that life may knock me down but at some point it will turn around, and in ways I could never expect. And I've relayed that to my DCs over the years so they cope pretty well when they do hit rough times. I don't worry about old age or whether I have enough money in the bank, or whether I'll ever meet a decent guy! I just live.

No one knows for sure if there's any intrinsic meaning of life, we are free to ascribe one - whatever our view is. Even if it is that we are just life forms doing the best we can, like the foxes and the whales live as best they can - with their skills and limitations. Suppose the difference is, ever since we've had campfires, we have sat and mulled over what our place in the universe might be.

We can aim to be happy (or at least content or at peace) within the constriction of trying not to harm others.

For the person who said they were not able to help others, they were too ill and so on - can you find happiness in music, poetry? film? Can you share something with those you love - memories (I recorded my gran telling stories of her life, was always glad I have done that - in fact they are in a Manchester museum now - she grew up through many challenging times as was born on eve of 1 WW), a smile, something to let them know you value their care? Its rare not to be in a position to have nothing to give. I have had a chronic illness which meant I was in the house for periods of time - I prayed, meditated, wrote letters.

Hard when we are in position of dementia (this has spurred me to think of making a document about what care I would/would not want).

The one time I felt desperate with mental pain and thought about suicide I had a strange experience. I was crying out (inside) I can't take any more, when - also internally - a very calm, authoritative male voice said to me 'Your time here is not finished yet' with a very strong sense that I still had things to do/give even if I had no idea what those things were.

That has never left me, though I have an outwardly very ordinary life.

We never know how our strength, perseverance, our being here influences others.

I know that life was hard for many people in the past, Paranoid. I teach history. I'm not sure why my comment incensed you. Surely the rising suicide rates in recent years tell us that something fundamental is missing from modern life. I don't know what the hell it is. I have felt like this since a beloved relative's life was destroyed by illness a few years ago. She's been good, honourable and kind her whole life, and for what? Several years of pain, severe disability and then death.
I am sure, like millions of other people, and many people on this thread, I am mildly depressed.

Modern life is overrated - or to quote Blur, rubbish.

It's over-complicated. There's no real joy in having money, and there's misery without it. We need to detach our selves from that shit.

But, life is all we have. Appreciate the real stuff. Connect with people. Make others happy. Love.

We're blessed to have been granted a lifetime as a human.

erinaceous go ahead, I agree! I have really enjoyed reading all the different replies, too.

I’m quite unremarkable in my achievements but if those close to me feel loved and nurtured by me ... that is enough.
This reminds me of my beloved gran, who died this year. She never did anything extraordinary, her life was simple and devoted to her family. Some might say it was a pointless life, but it wasn't at all. Not only did she give so much love to her family, she was also very much loved. We didn't love her because of what she achieved in life, but because of the way she was.

Sometimes I feel like this. I would not class myself as depressed at all, I have a great lifestyle, no money worried, great DH. Yet sometimes I do think, what the hell is all this about. Why are we rushing about, why do we get obsessed over minutiae, at some point we are going to be dust. We are born and at some point we die, so how bizarre is this bit in the middle.

But most of the time I try not to think about it, put one foot in front of the other and crack on. If I do think about it too much I think I would just take to my bed.

Whoever said upthread that this was a sad thread was wrong. Its a realistic set of differing views about life. Some people feel uneasy about talking about death or the pointlessness of life, it is something they do not wish to think about. But it is not sad to question the point of life.

You can still feel joy in life but feel it is all a bit pointless as well.

What about if someone lived a life completely alone and pessimism didn't effect others /or if a person only pretended to be happy. Should the person have a guilt ( even though pessimism does not effect others) for not feeling lucky to be alive?

Is it a sign that even atheists have a feeling the universe has a spiritual comprehension or that we have to respect life. For me this type of intrinsic guilt is the only thing that questions if the is more or why feel that way?

There is no need for guilt and I don’t think many atheists have a ‘spiritual comprehension’ - I certainly don’t.

@MarcieBluebell......you should read "The Alchemist" to find the answer to your life of solitude question. A weird but good read.

Is it a sign that even atheists have a feeling the universe has a spiritual comprehension or that we have to respect life.
What do you mean by 'sign'? And why do you imply that it is remarkable that atheists have respect for life?

Not all atheists have a spiritual comprehension of the universe, I certainly don't.

Is it a sign that even atheists have a feeling the universe has a spiritual comprehension or that we have to respect life. For me this type of intrinsic guilt is the only thing that questions if the is more or why feel that way?

I have no idea what this means. "The universe has a spiritual comprehension?" . Anyway, I am an atheist, and have all the spirituality of a paving slab.
But believe it or not, I do have a respect for life.

I feel that I would like to go to a retreat for a while with no distractions and just see how I felt after a few weeks. I think I mean like a hermit as any retreats I know of are full of other annoying people.

There is too much going on in the world, imv, there always was but now we are told about it incessantly. No time to ponder quietly.