To think life is overrated

[dexent]

You're born without having a choice. Then you live a life. Some of it might be good, some of it bad. You might get a lot more of one than the other. Alot of it is out of your hands. You then die. What was the point. This life is so temporary, so fleeting yet we cling on to it so dearly.

Considering how much an ageing population is going to cost the government in terms of care and pensions, I've always been amazed at how they are constantly trying to get people to stop smoking...you'd think they'd be giving fags away for free! Get rid of us all quicker!

Agree

I'm puzzled by people who have this view and then have children

Mum's view is that she didn't realise life was pointless until years and years after having them.

I'm going though stuff with elderly mum at the mo, doctors in dispute with her because they want to do everything to keep her alive. I'm really glad no child will have to deal with this for me, but I'm also hoping not to live past 60 tbh! I run as therapy but sometimes I think I should take up smoking!!

Life IS fleeting so why not enjoy it while you can?
I don’t really believe there’s a “point” but to be honest that doesn’t bother me. I enjoy what I can in a wholistic way (eg being kind and sensible to me is more enjoyable than being selfish and hedonistic)

There are any of people over 90 with lives worth living! As an optometrist, I'm constantly surprised by people over 90 who are full of beans and could be taken for at least 10 years younger.
On the flip side, I see some people who are only 70 who could be 90.
Some of it will be luck, some genetics but these sprightly old people do tell me that life is what you make it. They aren't all free from illness etc, but their positive attitudes shine through and the sparkle is still there.
I always feel fab after testing them

I sort of see what you mean. I enjoy my life, I think. My job is OK, I have interests and hobbies and have busy weekends. BUT it all feels very cyclical. I am 37 now and can't see how my life will change at all over the next few years. It will just be work, sleep, weekend - forever. No kids so don't really have that as a distraction. If I think about it too much I get very "what's the point"? I would never say this to anyone but I really don't think I have much to live for.

I don't think we realise how much we take for granted. What we take for granted would be considered a dream or paradise to someone who lives in a poor country /warzone.

I got talking to a lovely Yemenese Muslim woman in burqa at our children's school concert. She said where she was now living ( average UK suburbia) was paradise as she felt safe, her DC were in a lovely school, people were kind and friendly and there were no bombs or gunfire or people attacking them on the street.

There were flowers, trees, parks to walk in, ample and delicious food in the shops, people who smiled and talked and who weren't crying all day long.

I think we have a form of mental illness if we can't appreciate what we have and tbh, that is tragic on so many levels.

If you don't have religion, then life is all we've got!
I was discussing this with my 82 year old mother when we were in New York last week. My dad died 12 years ago at 72 and he made the most of the limited options his life gave him. They travelled a lot and had fun together.
When he died, she decided to not hide away and made new friends. She volunteers and socialises. I've encouraged her to travel on her own and with me. New experiences make her feel alive and positive. She says she'll die without regrets.

Seeing her make the most of these last years has been good for me too.

I think a lot depends on if you are an optimistic or pessimistic person. I think these are character traits we are born with and can't fundamentally change. We can have good times as a pessimistic person and feel good and bad times as an optimistic person and feel low but overall, it is what it is.

I'm a naturally pessimistic person ..it's a family trait I'm afraid. I'm not depressed or miserable. I can enjoy life but I am far too analytical and question everything and see the negative in everything.

I often say I'd love to be a whooper! What I mean by that is you know when you go out to a party and there's people there who totally let loose, dance, enjoy themselves and whoop whoop a bit...well that's not me. I'm more likely to stand there analysing everyone and being objective rather than getting stuck in. I think the whoop whoopers are a happier bunch to be honest!

I am not religious but I can see how it brings peace and purpose to so many who do.

I think waking up being thankful for the little joys in life; seeing beauty in most things or creating it; nurturing the bonds we have with people; being kind and thoughtful and being with people who genuinely care and love us and finding joy in the most basic things can turn the mundane into something special each day.

What helped shift my dark periods in life was to first identify what it was and then make that a goal to improve and work on.

So on my list has been my DH, clutter, untidiness, fitness, improving skill in a language and in a sport.

So instead of moaning about each and every one of my sources of unhappiness/ dissatisfaction ( which got me nowhere) I set about to do something about it.

Starting out with paying more attention to my DH and giving him daily massages. He reciprocates and our communication has also miraculously improved!

I have taken up sessions at the local leisure centre which started when I got a free pass from the GP after having been ill and not very mobile. Now 2 years later I am fitter than I have ever been in my life!

I have decluttered one drawer at a time as doing too much was too overwhelming ( I am naturally a hoarding/ untidy person) and I have actually been so proud to see cleanliness and space after so many years ( I am in my 50s so it has taken me 30 years to improve).

I think the secret to happiness and purpose in life is to be continually learning, improving, helping, loving, being kind, thoughtful, struggling on no matter what and being able to laugh and get joy from those closest especially, or with pets or flowers or being creative and being as active as you can possibly be and out in the fresh air, if possible.

Well donePrettyVase. You've done really well.

I think the key to happiness and living a fulfilled life is about giving of yourself and loving. I think there are too many people in our society that are self absorbed and obsessed.

twitter.com/thenatewolf/status/356147852214407168

I remember reading that Eric Clapton, in the darkest depths of his alcoholism, always rejected suicide as it meant he wouldn't get another drink.

Taking his words to heart I've developed a drug habit. It helps a little bit during the week and a hell of a lot on weekends.

There is no point, but I quite like it. I have suffered abuse, been in care, dp not brilliant, daughter with social anxiety.
But I do really like being alive. I am in a position to work part time. I’m in Pret A Manger having a coffee and a croissant absolutely loving sitting here alone. Going to the gym later and love evenings at home with family, cat, wine and dinner.
I think people who really want to make a difference in the world and who care deeply can suffer from despondent feelings about life. I’m not one of life’s great givers. I’m average and quite a good person and get fulfilment from little things. I do really like being alive.

Just read the Eric Clapton bit. That’s so true of me. If I died, I’d never, for example, have a nice drink or a lovely sleep again.

This is so sad!!

Focus on the positives in your life, people who love you and who you love. Fun things you've done, places you want to see etc.

Life is what you make it. Stop wallowing in self pity, and be grateful for what you've got.

@Prettyvase

I am in my 50s so it has taken me 30 years to improve

I can't tell you how heartened I was by your post. I'm in my 50s too and need to make changes - clutter, untidiness, fitness - and part of me thinks "oh what's the point, how can I change after so many years". Can I ask how you tackled the fitness?

I find joy in the simple things. A nice fire on a cold night. A warm bed after a long day. A walk on a frosty morning. Dinner with my family. Cuddles from my 6 year old. Reading a good book. Listening to a nice song. Going for a walk with my DH. Having a nice phonecall with my sister. Boring to some but living simply to me. Of course I have days when I feel I should be doing more or worry that my life is too simple but I know deep down that this is me and there is no point in trying to be someone I’m not. Sometimes I think our expectations of ‘ life ‘ are too high. All I want at the end of my life is to be remembered with love. That’s it really...

@MysweetAudrina

You said pretty much everything I feel about life

Taking his words to heart I've developed a drug habit. It helps a little bit during the week and a hell of a lot on weekends

That genuinely made me LOL!

@dexent I agree. It also kills me inside to think of the inevitable of losing my parents.. unless I die first, but then my daughter will lose her mum.. Just all heartbreaking

I think really life is a bit pointless but if we all came to that conclusion we'd either kill ourselves or society would break down into chaos. That's why religion exists. To keep people going and behaving well!

Think of your great, great grandparents. They will be dead before you're born. They probably meant a lot to their children, and maybe their grandchildren. But there's no one alive now that remembers them. I don't know their names or have ever seen photos of them. For most people it's the same. Once a couple of generations go by you are long forgotten.

I don't want to die right now, but neither do I want to cling on to life either.

but I'm also hoping not to live past 60 tbh!

Are you serious?! I'm over 60 and absolutely love love love my life. I can only presume you are about 20 or something because honestly life begins at 60. I feel in my head about 25, I grab every single minute of life and squeeze the pips out of it!

I have been lucky in so many ways but also am not immune to sadness and loss and difficulties. I also know first hand how people can suffer with their MH and debt. I'm a natural giver and nurturer and perhaps that affects my outlook. I've spent 10 years supporting those who struggle so that makes me be so so grateful for what I've got in the way of relationships, kids, family, friends etc.

However, to think that life is not worth living but not be depressed - to me, is bizarre, I can't understand that. Life is a gift, and wondrous... I'm away from home at the moment and it's a nearly full moon, and I stared at the moon and stars in awe for ages last night.

What a bizarre thread. Surely life is what you make of it. If you feel life is really pointless, don't have children and go to Dignitas.

I live by the line in Dollys Coat of Many Colours "One is only poor, only if you choose to be". Relevant to not only finances but everything.

I've had many a hard time in life, rape, made homeless at 16, pregnant at 17, single teen mum, my cheating husband left me in intensive care after giving birth to my second.. I could go on. But I can honestly say I am 100% happy with my life and glad to be alive. I have a job which pays the bills, I love silly things like rushing around the corridors and getting smiles and "alright thomlin" from people I know. I love driving with the music turned up. I love cuddling my kids to sleep at night. I love walking my dog in the dead of winter. There are a thousand things that give me that buzzy warm happy feeling inside. I often think this is just the natural opposite of depression, just being genuinely happy for no reason.

Its quite sad reading this thread and seeing there are so many people who can't find joy in every day things. Do you never just look up at the moon and think how beautiful it is, and how incredibly lucky you are to have seen it?