“My child is top of their class”

[BluthsFrozenBananas]

I see this on threads quite often, I just saw it on another thread. Or my child is on a higher book band than any other classmate, or is top in maths, and I wonder, how the hell do people know that?

My DD is in y6, at no time since she’s been in primary have I known her “ranking” in the class, or that of any other child. Neither did I have any idea what book band others were on in the days of reading books.

I get if your child is super bright and doing extension work far beyond their years you might assume they were “top” of the class, but even then surely it’s not a given as teachers don’t routinely give out information about other children’s accidemic achievements.

Or am I missing out on something and schools publish super secret league tables of children which only the parents of children at the top get to see?

noobs the op asked.

By year 3 or 4 both my kids knew where their table was in terms of ability. The teacher also gave one group more/harder work which made it obvious which were the highest ability children. The teacher only ever talked about our child's progress in terms of where they were last term compared to now, never in comparison to other children. Many parents who thought their children were 'the cleverest in the class' and announced loudly their reading level in the playground 🙄 etc were often not on the high ability table.

@noobs18 sour grapes much?

My son was talking to me last year (age 12) at some point, and said that he couldn't understand how, back in early primary, his classmates all thought he was clever. "How could they know?" - so far as he was concerned, it was reasonable that the teachers might know but he remained perplexed as to how in, say, year 2-4, others in the class could have any idea how good he was or wasn't. Suffice to say social and listening skills hadn't been his strongest area!

I was told my eldest was the best at English in her year. I was also told she was the worst at throwing and catching, her teacher had seen in 20 years of teaching. She was about 8 at the time.

Fast forward 12 years, and shes still very good at English, but not amazing, however she still can’t throw and catch.

You’ll rarely find a child whos good at everything, and theres more to life than academic brilliance anyway. As a mum of teenagers, I’d rather have a child who is kind, happy and tries hard. I’m not saying that in a smug way, because none of my children possess all three of those qualities.

Both my dc have been top of the class and I know because the teachers told me.

With dd they wanted to put her up a year in some subjects and with ds he had to work separately with a teaching assistant because his maths was so far advanced.

I never mentioned it to other parents though, and it was only during infant and junior school, I've never had that feedback since they went to secondary school although they're both in the top sets.

At DS's school (selective independent) they show you their position in each subject (with all other names blanked out). At DD's school (state grammar), the subject teachers for a number of subjects told us at parents she was top across all classes, or top two, top three etc.

No hummus is consumed in this house because one has too many allergies, the other barely eats at all.

I can't help but wonder whether some parents are putting a lot of weight in a pretty throwaway comment by a teacher ('she came top of the class in the last spelling test' becomes 'my child is top of the class!'). Unless there's a huge gulf where one child is just streets ahead, top of the class is unlikely to be a fixed thing anyway, and 'top of the class' can be a bit of a figure of speech that people (including teachers) use to just generally mean 'very good' rather than specifically ''consistently better than every one else'

Or maybe some parents are so overinvested in their children that they are over-interpreting everything the teacher says.

Nope, the teachers have always been pretty explicit.

You know there are some fairly unpleasant, veering towards nasty posts on this thread and they aren’t from the posters answering the question from personal experience...

So far respondents have been accused of being overinvested, lying, integorrating other people’s children, invading other’s privacy, boasting, showing off and “living vicariously through their children”

Why can’t they just be nice, normal sensible parents whose children happen to be doing quite well in school?

It's very unusual for a child be be top of the class in everything. Normally there's movement depending on the subject.

So one child will be top of the class in art, another in maths, different one in science etc.

Anyone who says their kid is top in everything is fairly likely to be delusional.

It’s really wrong of teachers to mention where a child fits in the class, they should be judged against the progress they have made, it’s none of the parents’ business where everyone else is in the class. Plus children usually aren’t the absolute best at everything eg they might be best at fractions but 2nd best at times tables. You could easily work out whether your child is top, middle or bottom but to say they are ‘top of the class’ with conviction is rubbish.

I have never, in my 20+ years of teaching, told anyone that they or their children are top of the class! Am wondering if I have missed something?! I have told them they have reached the highest level available in x task ( but more than one/lots may have also reached said level) . Likewise, as a parent I have never been told or deduced my children's ranking. I couldn't believe how many people asked my DC's CATs and SATs results though. I just said I was pleased with them, it really bugged some people so clearly people are concerned about such things.

one of my children knew very well what ability table she and everyone else was on, because she is an observant child (DS would have been oblivous). Also at parents evenings with many differnet teachers and across several schools I have been clearly able to see information about other children - not because I have looked for it but because the teacher is reading across a lost of marks for the children and the other names are not blanked out. At a local private school, attended by some friends' children, the results are put up in class, every child's position shown - no way for you or anyone else not to know you are top (or bottom) of the class.

DS1's school had a top table (and it went down to the 'lack of confidence' table, I kid you not!) with 4-5 other pupils, if they sat at that table you knew they were around the top of the class. And the teachers told you how well they were doing at parent's evenings.

DS2 started on 'lack of confidence' table and where he ranked in class wasn't ever mentioned. When he improved in junior school parent's evenings became much more positive, they'd mention where-ish he was in the class, say when he came top in maths tests, tell us his reading age, etc.

Anyone who says their kid is top in everything is fairly likely to be delusional
Possibly, but not necessarily, miss Marple. Some children do come top in everything. There's a thread in G&T discussing it, a few months back.

I hate to say it but the ones who talk on mn about their dc being top of the class usually have posts full of spelling and grammar mistakes. I've not noticed it on this thread. I'm another one who isn't part of the secret club, although every teacher has said dd is a delight to teach and her last teacher said she was lucky to have her. I assumed that was more about behaviour and maturity though (and she is old for the year, and a people pleaser)

I'd bought her two birthday cakes, one for with her friends and one for a family do. When I asked which she wanted for the (later) family do, she asked which had the longer use by date!

Anyone who says their kid is top in everything is fairly likely to be delusional

I’m with Haba I’m not sure why a few posters have said it’s uncommon. Certainly in both my own schools and my D.C’s it wasn’t unusual to find a few lucky kids in each year who were good at everything.

It can’t be all that unusual otherwise no one would ever get all A’s, which clearly they do.

Mine are/were good at maths and science, less so at English, but still okay. They both excel in daydreaming and are absolutely rubbish at sport. DS1 was more of an all-rounder than DS2.

Not sure why it's so awful to know if your child excels academically compared to the rest of the class. Everyone knows who the fastest runner and the player of the day/year is when it comes to sport (and they get thoroughly congratulated on it).

But if your child is the most advanced reader in the class (which mine is) then you're supposed to dance around saying it out loud (or rush to point out the other areas in which your child is deficient)?

I hate to say it but the ones who talk on mn about their dc being top of the class usually have posts full of spelling and grammar mistakes.

I’m not quite sure why that’s relevant Stealth?

I did better academically than my parents and my DCs are doing better than I did at the same stage. There are a variety of reasons why that’s the case.

There are plenty of very bright children produced by average parents. And vice versa.

Anyone who says their kid is top in everything is fairly likely to be delusional.

By high school there's significant differentiation. At my high school, I came top in all my subjects in my last two years. There were another two students in my year who also came top in all their subjects. We all took different subjects. So obviously three really delusional sets of parents in one year alone.

Hate how we talk down the value of academic competitiveness or success while nurturing a culture of extreme competitiveness when it comes to sport.

Anyone who says their kid is top in everything is fairly likely to be delusional

IDK, there was a girl in the last primary school I went to who was a genuine all round high achiever. She and I would compete for perfect scores in academic stuff (as academic as years 5 and 6 get, anyway) but whereas I fell over my feet in PE, drew like a 2 year old who had just been introduced to the concept of art, made enthusiastic but painfully tone deaf attempts in music, etc, she was really, really good at everything. I am sitting here trying to think back 30 years to something she didn't excel at and I can't!

I went to a terrible secondary school but there was a boy in my year who got all A* grades before that was a common-ish thing. Some people just are very high achievers across the school curriculum.

At our primary school when there was a test the papers were given back in order of the top three names and % being called out and celebrated. So, everyone knew who was the best at what, and also who was always in the top three for everything. I had one DD always in the top three, and one DD always somewhere near the bottom.

Well I'd have no clue, nor would my DC (I don't think, although dd might). In my day in senior school we did end of year exams in every subject and they were marked and then ranked (1st 2nd etc) do very knowable....