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Original poster

Could you send your 13 year old away to boarding school?

266 replies

ShowOfHands · 17/09/2018 18:58

If offered a full scholarship to an outstanding boarding school 150 miles away? If there was no way you could afford private education and your child was quite remarkably bright? The alternative is a good local comprehensive. Would you even consider it?

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 17/09/2018 18:58

It would very much depend on whether my child wanted to go or not.

Whistle73 · 17/09/2018 18:58

I would definitely consider it, but only if they were up for it themselves.

tissuesosoft · 17/09/2018 19:00

I would consider it but I would also want to move nearer

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MsJolly · 17/09/2018 19:00

No-I couldn't. If they were really bright and the local school was a good one then they will do well regardless. Unless they were truly desperate to go of course and then I would need to dig deep.

IHaveBrilloHair · 17/09/2018 19:01

Yes, absolutely.

FilledSoda · 17/09/2018 19:02

Of course , what an opportunity!
I'm an ex boarder and girls started as young as 8.
I had the time of my life .

TeenTimesTwo · 17/09/2018 19:04

'send away' is a very loaded term.

'Allow my child to board for school' is less so.

If the child were keen, and the opportunities worth it, and I thought they would thrive, then maybe.

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 17/09/2018 19:05

Yes if they wanted to go

Dh on the other hand woukd refuse point blank

Its one of the few things we disagreed on

VillageCats · 17/09/2018 19:05

It would depend entirely on what the child wanted. If you were in fact sending a child away that didn't want to go then no. If you were giving it a go with a defined timescale then absolutely!

Oblomov18 · 17/09/2018 19:05

Would consider it. If said child really wanted to go.

Scatteredthoughtss · 17/09/2018 19:05

I think at 13, in those circumstances, I would let the child have the final say. But I'd be really torn on what to advise the child.

NameChanger22 · 17/09/2018 19:06

Probably not, but I would ask her first and at least go and have a look.

sanssherif · 17/09/2018 19:07

If they really wanted to with the promise they could leave at any time.

Amaaboutthis · 17/09/2018 19:07

Probably not. I struggle to think of any circumstances on which this would be an option for us but I don’t have a problem or think it’s a bad thing to do at all. I think 6th form boarding would be brilliant though I would encourage that

CherryPavlova · 17/09/2018 19:10

I would think carefully about whether it was actually a better school or a better marketed school.
I would think carefully about whether my child wanted to go and whether they’d feel comfortable.
I’d ask the school about their pastoral care, the number of British pupils rather than overseas children and whether children usually went home at weekends despite it being ‘full boarding’.
Might be a fabulous opportunity but might be horrendous mistake.
Is full scholarship academic? How do they feel about mandatory high level sports throughout the school?
Are the adaptable and comfortable working outside their comfort zone - it can be a whole new language!
Can you afford the travel, the extracurricular, the uniform, the laptop, the school trips and specialist tiotion in instrumental or drama etc?
We did a mixture. Our comprehensive all the way through had a superior education in many respects, learned to help others, learned self reliance and personal drive. Our top boarding one developed fantastic networks and had better support through exams.

Original poster
ShowOfHands · 17/09/2018 19:11

She wants to go but I'm not sure she understands it fully. How could she?

I'm a socialist so I struggle in principle and also, emotionally. I gave up work to be a SAHM, coslept, bf to natural term and we're very close indeed. She's independent and clever and determined though. She'll do well whatever choice we make but I'm selfishly not sure I can do it. The alternative is to reapply for sixth form at the same place. Or just support her to do well at the local comp where she is happy but possibly not exploring her full potential.

OP posts:
combatbarbie · 17/09/2018 19:11

I sent my dd at 10 because she wanted too, she was fed up moving every two years and making new friendships. The school she's in now is her 5th. She loves it.... but it was completely her choice.

OnceUponATimeInAmerica · 17/09/2018 19:12

Yes, without a shadow of a doubt. DS has just turned 13. He has a place offered at a school which does provide boarding. Due to a complicated change in circumstances, we probably won't be able to take it up unless he boards. I explained this to him, and he is now very keen to board. Whereas two years ago, he was utterly against it.

He won't get a scholarship, so for us, we will have to do the sums to see if boarding makes sense or if he has to go elsewhere.

HelenaJustina · 17/09/2018 19:13

Yes. I’m having a rough week, I’d currently give away all 4DC...

Original poster
ShowOfHands · 17/09/2018 19:15

She'd have a full scholarship, including extra-curricular, uniform, tuition etc. It wouldn't cost us anything.

It is a v good school on many levels. Pastoral care is good. Most children go home when possible.

Sport would be an issue. She has EDS and can't manage some sports.

OP posts:
Unicornandbows · 17/09/2018 19:16

I would see it as an opportunity for the child to excel and if you say she's extremely bright she might actually excel even more with activities she might not have been able to experience in a comprehensive school. Usually costs around 8-10k per term.

Original poster
ShowOfHands · 17/09/2018 19:16

Yes. I’m having a rough week, I’d currently give away all 4DC

I did laugh at that. Right now, I'd happily send 7yo DS!

OP posts:
Lweji · 17/09/2018 19:17

Only if she begged me.

Unicornandbows · 17/09/2018 19:18

I would advise Perhaps letting her go and see how she feels that way she doesn't miss an opportunity and she is able to come back to comprehensive school if she doesn't fit well.

Branleuse · 17/09/2018 19:19

id offer them the opportunity with no pressure