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Just found this on family laptop

282 replies

Wafflenose · 10/09/2018 17:44

I'm need need of some advice. After work, I sat down to type something in the address bar on Explorer (I was typing Hotmail, to be precise) and as I started typing (literally one or two letters) my search bar suggested 'homosexual anime porn' and 'homosexual manga porn'. I went into our Internet users history and found that over a 30-60 minute period in the middle of the night (Friday or Saturday night, I can't remember) someone has searched for the above, plus manga incest, male on male gay porn and more. It would almost be funny (because of the animal element) if it wasn't so disturbing.

I have two DDs, aged 10 and 13. The younger one has her own laptop which she saved up for, so she doesn't use ours. The older one does use ours to play on and do homework, although at the times that correspond to when she was using it during the day just contain educational sites because she has been doing a history project. Both girls have been learning to draw manga. Little one hasn't heard of homosexual porn or incest, and the big one might have at school. She has never shown any interest in boys, or girls for that matter, but might be curious? If it turns out to be her, we will obviously be having a serious chat and supervising all screen use, because she will have betrayed our trust by going online during the night and googling unsuitable topics.

Then there is DH... we have been married for 20 years and he as straight as straight can be, or so I thought. I guess I am asking how I should approach this, because if it's not him then we need to have a serious chat with our daughter.

Unless there is some kind of virus or malware that generates this kind of thing? (Clutching at straws).

OP posts:
Haireverywhere · 10/09/2018 22:59

OP are you seriously saying you are not worried about your DH looking at incest anime? Anime is a style of drawing with its own subculture I get that honestly.

But I am sure that doesn't equate to an interest with 'forbidden love' (which makes you feel better than incest)?

I hope I'm wrong but I think the range of things he was looking at is relevant to your relationship.

Wafflenose · 10/09/2018 23:02

I am open to suggestions, but clearly naive. I also know what is wrong with our relationship. What should I be concerned about specifically?

OP posts:
Haireverywhere · 10/09/2018 23:07

Off the top of my head.

What are his sexual preferences? Is he looking to explore other sides of his sexuality in fantasy or real life?

I think the main thing is that you had this idea of him and need to be aware that there MAY be other sides that he's withholding or only just starting to acknowledge or let into his mind.

This isn't necessarily about making more effort but understanding what all this is about and the relationship as a whole.

I am honestly trying to help so I'm sorry if I seem a bit shocked at your acceptance it was just curiosity and accidental clicking

ShirleyPhallus · 10/09/2018 23:08

haireverywhere

What are you so concerned about? The OP has explained that that one link was clicked through rather than explicitly searched out

I’ve fallen down many rabbit holes before and doesn’t mean I’ve been looking for stuff

She said she’s ok, her DH has spoken about it - case closed surely?

Haireverywhere · 10/09/2018 23:13

I could definitely be reading more into it than it was and tbh I hope I am!

I just want OP to be aware that people can still surprise us after many years.

Wafflenose · 10/09/2018 23:14

I did ask him, and he said he wasn't interested in men or any of the rest of it in RL. I think the family interest in anime had fueled his curiosity (DD2 even has a middle name which came from a Studio Ghibli film) and I think a lot of the terms have probably been discussed at his workplace (not prison, but think similar) among a specific subset of the population. I'm not going to LTB over half an hour's drunken late night googling.

OP posts:
Haireverywhere · 10/09/2018 23:15

Oh gosh I wasn't suggesting LTB.

I'm sorry OP. I was trying to help.

Wafflenose · 10/09/2018 23:16

I've definitely fallen down rabbit holes myself... I can be watching music videos or documentaries on YouTube, and the next thing I know, i'm watching someone squeezing a giant zit and wondering how I got there. We've all done that kind of thing!

OP posts:
Booom · 10/09/2018 23:17

I don't look at porn but as I am rubbish with firewalls etc I regularly check that our devices are childproofed.
Last week I googled something like big boobs (or something my 13 might google) and a pornsite came up. The top bit of the site was some awful amine incest thing. I didn't look at it but it was a main stream site called pornhub.So he didn't have to search for it directly.

louise5754 · 10/09/2018 23:18

It could have been 1000s worse he didn't cheat didn't do anything illegal geez people love drama

BabySharkDoDoDoDoDo · 10/09/2018 23:19

If he is watching anime porn I don't see what it's got to do with you?

I don't vet what kind of porn my GF watches. Its non of my buisness Confused

Wafflenose · 10/09/2018 23:21

It has to do with me because our DD uses the computer and I don't want her to come across this stuff because of his carelessness. Amongst other things.

OP posts:
ToeToToe · 10/09/2018 23:22

He left it in the history, BabyShark - on a laptop the DD uses. OP stumbled across it - the DD could too.

(is just one reason....)

ToeToToe · 10/09/2018 23:22

ha ha - x-post with actual OP there Smile

deepsea · 11/09/2018 06:09

We will have to agree to disagree about how serious this is, I think it is pretty bad. Getting up in the middle of the night and looking at incest and gay porn is a red flag if ever I have seen one.

I would be booking a relate counsellor this morning, and considering how I feel about this.

Of course he is going to say he doesn't find it erotic, but then one would ask why on earth he would be watching it for 40 minutes if it didn't interest him?

Sorry op. It must be upsetting. Flowers

bumhead · 11/09/2018 07:19

Weren't they search terms though rather than links?

I mean didn't he write the words 'manga incest'?

Wafflenose · 11/09/2018 07:33

No, he didn't. The first two (in my OP) were search terms and the rest seem to be links within a maoi (is that right) website. I wasn't entirely clear on that until I had a closer look just before confronting him. I only got the briefest glance after work. I have some people telling me that viewing gay porn is practically normal among straight people and that this genre is relatively innocent... and others who feel it must be indicative of something much bigger. I'm not sure how to feel.

OP posts:
Wafflenose · 11/09/2018 07:43

Sorry, yaoi! I am clearly completely clueless.

OP posts:
AnchorDownDeepBreath · 11/09/2018 07:54

waffle it's personal preference. Some people will watch gay porn along with straight porn; some will avoid it. Some people watch clown porn Confused I think people's porn tastes are often a bit odd!

I wouldn't be happy this had happened; for the reasons you've said - and I'm glad you've talked about it and he's put you at ease. You know him; you'll be the best judge of whether he's lying. You'll also be best placed to see if anything else feels "strange".

I'm not sure that there was any good Rabbitholes on Yaoi; anyway, objectively. It's heavily dominated with very young looking girls, school uniforms, gay men, wolf-men etc. My understanding of it is that you become a bit immersed in that world and it doesn't feel at all "real".

I'm not saying let it go; but I don't think I'd be majorly concerned about his viewing under the circumstances. Keep an eye on things; but don't panic.

BitOutOfPractice · 11/09/2018 08:43

I too wouldn’t be feeling relieved if I found out my DH had been the person watching that. I’m thinking “can open, worms everywhere”.

You say your relationship has been struggling recently. Clearly you don’t want to say why that is but do your problems tie in with this revelation at all?

Wafflenose · 11/09/2018 08:46

Not really - more to do with serious illness and concentrating on getting through that.

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 11/09/2018 08:50

Ah ok. Sorry to hear that.

I just think that what he’s been watching, linked to the “I’ve not been happy” comment would really worry me.

Wafflenose · 11/09/2018 08:53

It was, "I've been struggling a bit". With various temptations (including drinking and smoking) - presumably trying to take his mind off a worrying time. It's a one off. If it were a regular thing I'd be much more concerned.

OP posts:
Stormzyandme · 11/09/2018 08:53

What should I be concerned about specifically?

Your DH creeping downstairs to watch incest porn for a start.

BitOutOfPractice · 11/09/2018 08:56

Yes, I think the sneaking around in the early hours to watch it is worrying. I think the specific things he watched are worrying (sorry I don’t buy the wormhole story) and I think his reaction that you need to work harder in your relationship is worrying.