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Original poster

Just found this on family laptop

282 replies

Wafflenose · 10/09/2018 17:44

I'm need need of some advice. After work, I sat down to type something in the address bar on Explorer (I was typing Hotmail, to be precise) and as I started typing (literally one or two letters) my search bar suggested 'homosexual anime porn' and 'homosexual manga porn'. I went into our Internet users history and found that over a 30-60 minute period in the middle of the night (Friday or Saturday night, I can't remember) someone has searched for the above, plus manga incest, male on male gay porn and more. It would almost be funny (because of the animal element) if it wasn't so disturbing.

I have two DDs, aged 10 and 13. The younger one has her own laptop which she saved up for, so she doesn't use ours. The older one does use ours to play on and do homework, although at the times that correspond to when she was using it during the day just contain educational sites because she has been doing a history project. Both girls have been learning to draw manga. Little one hasn't heard of homosexual porn or incest, and the big one might have at school. She has never shown any interest in boys, or girls for that matter, but might be curious? If it turns out to be her, we will obviously be having a serious chat and supervising all screen use, because she will have betrayed our trust by going online during the night and googling unsuitable topics.

Then there is DH... we have been married for 20 years and he as straight as straight can be, or so I thought. I guess I am asking how I should approach this, because if it's not him then we need to have a serious chat with our daughter.

Unless there is some kind of virus or malware that generates this kind of thing? (Clutching at straws).

OP posts:
OoohAyyye · 10/09/2018 21:23

I agree with PP.

chilledteacher · 10/09/2018 21:24

We had an almost identical situation in our household over the past few weeks. Turns out it was our 13 year old DS who was curious about things. DH and I had a chat with DS about creeping round the house in the early hours (internet history shows searches between 3:45 and 4:43am), we tried to be really understanding about it and things have been better since. We were aware though that going too heavy on him would have led to him hiding activity which could be riskier in time.
Think it's sadly a normal part of puberty and growing up, for me the hardest part was realising that my baby wasn't as innocent as I thought anymore.
Good luck!! Xx

FermatsTheorem · 10/09/2018 21:25

Ha ha, Brotherphil, yes, there's nothing quite so funny as badly written slash (well, aside from "Legolas by Laura" perhaps).

I think most slash is fairly harmless - it's pretty much teen girls thinking about attractive boys with no clothes on, but at one remove, so it's not frightening for them. I think, as previous posters have said, it's about exploring nascent sexuality in a safe way. And I'd say it's a long way removed from the evil fuckers of the David Challenor variety. (Seriously - it's not a case of read some Drarry this week, go along to your local fetish club to wear adult nappies next week. Most girls will grow out of this stuff.)

That said, you do get DC type people hanging around these sorts of online communities trying to use it as a way in to grooming children. So if it does turn out to be DD, you need to talk to her about online safety. No real names/identifying details on line. No meeting up with people in real life. Watch out for people trying to initiate private chats and trying to get you to share images. And you need to do this in such a way that she feels she can talk to you if she inadvertently stumbles on something that upsets her, rather than feeling she has to hide it from you.

SausageSimon · 10/09/2018 21:33

Your teenage daughter never crossed my mind when reading this OP, I'm definitely thinking DH

Momo18 · 10/09/2018 21:38

The only thing disturbing there is the incest bit, it's fine for a straight person to like gay porn. A lot of surveys have revealed it's pretty much the norm.

C0untDucku1a · 10/09/2018 21:39

All i had as a teenager was Point Horror or Point Romance.

Original poster
Wafflenose · 10/09/2018 21:52

It was DH.

I said I needed to talk to him because I had come across some inappropriate autofills and lots of inappropriate links in our history when typing in hotmail.com (I know it's Outlook now but I still have a hotmail address and the address still works). I said that obviously the DDs would be able to see them too, so needed to know if he had been looking at stuff in the middle of the night, or if we needed to confront DD1. He admitted it right away - this is why parental controls weren't on. I had a feeling it was him because the kids don't really have unsupervised access, and whenever they've been online it's just been good game empire, slither.io, Wikipedia and homework sites. He had definitely been drinking that night and was also curious to know what some of the terms meant. Like some PPs said, he got caught down a wormhole and clicked on more stuff, some on purpose and some accidentally. He said he's "been struggling a bit" and we both agreed we could work at our relationship more. He said a lot of it is very innocent, quite stylised and he doesn't find any of it actually erotic. No homosexual tendencies, and he says he doesn't even remember the incest link. I'm not thrilled, but glad DD1 hasn't been sneaking around at night, or googling inappropriate topics. Apparently boys are yuck (and immature), she has shown no inclination towards girls either, and currently seems more interested in her studies, hanging out with her friends and playing the flute. Thankfully!

OP posts:
Dollymixture22 · 10/09/2018 22:05

Okay. Good news. It was an adult!!!

Poor guy is probably a bit embaraased. Bit I assume nothing illegal was viewed, so not the end of the world!

Taylor22 · 10/09/2018 22:06

The rabbit hole can be very strange.

That's why incognito was created. Especially at 4am. I swear the internet gets weirder at that point.

FermatsTheorem · 10/09/2018 22:07

Phew...

(Hands over sum of money from bet which went the other way).

Original poster
Wafflenose · 10/09/2018 22:09

Yeah, I wasn't thrilled either way, but at least it was an adult! Nothing illegal as far as I'm aware... just drawings, surely? I have made him clean up after himself so that the DDs don't find any trace.

OP posts:
louise5754 · 10/09/2018 22:14

At least he admitted it OP. I'm sure you're relieved it was DH?

Lockheart · 10/09/2018 22:18

Well I admit I am very surprised. But at least it's a happy resolution!

Original poster
Wafflenose · 10/09/2018 22:19

Yes I am - easier to deal with. I know kids of DD1's age can be curious about sex, but some of the search terms were so far beyond her experience that I had a feeling it wasn't her. Also the fact that she sleeps like the dead!!

OP posts:
ToeToToe · 10/09/2018 22:27

Yeah, the AImee Challenor stuff on FWR took me down quite a few internet rabbit holes too - men in nappies, adult babies, anime characters with breasts and erections...My internet history might look questionable to an outsider after that Confused

I suppose it's good that he admitted it straight away, OP, but I'm a tad dubious that it's ended up with you agreeing "you need to work on your relationship" - he needs to work on not looking up porn in the wee small hours is what I think he means!

Haireverywhere · 10/09/2018 22:33

From your OP I thought DH.

When you say you need to work on the relationship I'd be curious as to exactly what he was looking at and what does it mean wrt his beliefs about/satisfaction with the sexual side of your relationship? I hope he can be honest about it - whether it was just curiosity, escape/fantasy, unmet need or desire that he has or hasn't acted on IRL.

Haireverywhere · 10/09/2018 22:34

Incest porn really concerns me.

Stormzyandme · 10/09/2018 22:38

It is worrying, even more so that he will now cover his tracks a lot more.

Incest is very worrying. You dont google that from nowhere.

Original poster
Wafflenose · 10/09/2018 22:44

He says it was all curiosity, and that he clicked on a link or two by accident. He says he doesn't remember anything about incest, and I'm inclined to believe him - most of the material was nothing to do with that. He is artistic and was interested in some of the terms, and also the styles of drawing. He said it certainly doesn't do anything for him and he doesn't find it erotic. FWIW, both of us have only ever had the one relationship - with each other - and it hasn't been going so well lately. I don't have any reason to disbelieve him, so we are both going to make more effort.

OP posts:
louise5754 · 10/09/2018 22:44

Oh I missed the incest bit

Karigan198 · 10/09/2018 22:45

If you can have sex with the guy you’re probably close enough to just ask him. Do it without judgement or criticism to open an honest dialogue

Karigan198 · 10/09/2018 22:46

Sorry see you’ve already asked. Thought I’d clickef last page butmust have hit next!

Haireverywhere · 10/09/2018 22:47

OK now I am even more worried for you.

Ask him to show you the sites. There's more to this.

Firstbornunicorn · 10/09/2018 22:48

Glad you got to the bottom of it. I think it's good in a way that he wasn't trying to hide it - very much doubt there's anything untoward going on there at all.

FWIW, morbid curiosity has driven me to search some weird things in the past, too.

I hope you're not too upset, OP. Look after yourself.

Original poster
Wafflenose · 10/09/2018 22:51

He totally acted like he had nothing to hide. To make it clear, that one link (out of 20+) was incest ANIME - surely just more drawings of the 'forbidden love' variety? And he didn't google that - looks like he clicked on it from another page of a habit (or however you spell it) website. I have no interest in viewing any of it myself.

OP posts: