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Original poster

Work Life balance tips

93 replies

GirlFliesHome · 10/09/2018 14:36

Just that really. After yet another weekend spent doing life admin and feeling like I have failed at literally everything - motherhood, work, family, wife..... I'd be grateful for tips about what to do to make life easier. We both work full time, but my commute is less so I leave the house at 7.30,drop the kids off at breakfast club and in the office by 8.45. I leave at 5.15, home by 6.30. I make a quick dinner, barely have time for homework, bathtime and reading. I collapse around 8 pm. Up at 5.30 am to tidy and sort lunches etc. I just feel like I am doing everything badly. I booked today off as I had a GP appointment and thought I would be able to just chill out, but I find I am MNetting and trying to catch up on the laundry.

I need tips. Your top tips. :)

OP posts:
MynameisJune · 10/09/2018 14:40

Outsource as much as possible is the only real answer. And get DH to pull his weight with housework. Can you get a cleaner?

Original poster
GirlFliesHome · 10/09/2018 14:43

I'm ashamed to admit we have a cleaner. Blush 2 hours a fortnight. She's wonderful and a godsend. But it's scraping the surface really.

I did online shopping this weekend for school themed costumes and thought it was the best thing ever. Thinking of taking as many short cuts as I can. Might need to bite the bullet and make DH cook a few nights a week (he's bloody awful at it).

OP posts:
Original poster
GirlFliesHome · 10/09/2018 14:44

Not ashamed because we have a cleaner... shamed to admit we have one and I am STILL not coping I mean!

What else can I outsource? Garden yes.....

OP posts:
cloudtree · 10/09/2018 14:48

Cook at the weekends. I cook on a sunday morning - a roast and a pudding or cake for that day plus at least 2/3 other meals. I'm quite happy doing that whilst watching netflix and it means I have two meals in the fridge plus one in the freezer

jackstini · 10/09/2018 14:49

Not sure of your disposable income but could outsource:
Ironing, window cleaning, gardening, def more cleaner hours
Are you and DH sharing the rest equally?
How old are dc and what can they do to help?
Have 'easy cook' meals delivered (gousto etc)

Also blatantly following as I could always do with more tips!

mrs2468 · 10/09/2018 14:50

What life admin takes all weekend and surely that's a one off

aperolspritzplease · 10/09/2018 14:50

Utterly boring but:

Meal plan / online shopping - I do it on my phone on the train

Cook meals for at least three days on a Sunday, one night freezer food and then only one day to worry about

School uniform goes out to be ironed (I don't have anything that needs to be ironed).

Kids are only allowed packed lunch 3 days a week, means I don't have to worry about lunches on the two busiest days

Can they do homework at after school club or wherever they are?

Up the cleaner's hours?

SmallestInTheClass · 10/09/2018 14:53

Batch cooking at the weekend. Spend half an hour chopping and frying meat/veg/beans whatever you like in 2-3 big pans (make enough for at least 2 meals of each) then leave to cook for an hour or two while you do other stuff. We do curry, chilli, pasta sauces, casseroles etc. Put it all in tupperware and then eat during the week. We do this most weekends and at least 3 days all we do is cook rice or pasta and put the sauce in the microwave. The other couple of days we do something quick like pizza.
Could the kids have school dinners?

CassandraLamontaigne · 10/09/2018 14:53

Can you have the cleaner in every week?
Three baskets for laundry - white dark colours so you don't have to sort just throw them in?
Bath every second night?
But I wonder do you need to make a list of jobs and assign half of them to dh? Why was he not putting on laundry at the weekend?

And yes to getting him to cook. Can't go wrong with a spaghetti bolognese or chili and rice.

CassandraLamontaigne · 10/09/2018 14:55

Oh and what someone else said about online food shopping during the commute if possible. A colleague of mine used to do it on her lunch break once a week

Original poster
GirlFliesHome · 10/09/2018 14:55

Life admin seems to take all weekend. I am including swimming lessons, driving to and from, DS physical therapy sessions (driving to and from), we had one of DH's friends come to stay as he was on a stag night (tidying spare bedroom), washing, ironing (although latter done in front of the tv with wine), tidying, cleaning up garden of dog poo, dog walking, batch cooking, homework etc. Stuff that needs to be done and seems to just suck the joy out of life.

I need to push DH more to do stuff.... he potters and does his own thing alot of the time. He needs to be reminded about 'jobs'. He's in a high pressure job and suffers from depression so needs decompressing time to himself. Kids can definitely start to do more as well.

I can also work out a budget because I think we could get the cleaner weekly.

OP posts:
Original poster
GirlFliesHome · 10/09/2018 14:57

List of jobs and assign. Great idea. :)

Keep em coming. I'm reading all posts. :)

OP posts:
CassandraLamontaigne · 10/09/2018 14:57

Oh and another one - when my baby was born and I couldn't handle housework I brought out clothes out to a laundrette /dry cleaner. I literally sent everything but you could even just send bed linen and towels. Cost €2 a kilo so a black sack almost full was €16 but money well spent!

Original poster
GirlFliesHome · 10/09/2018 14:59

God this is brilliant- I am so glad I asked. Thank you everyone!!!

OP posts:
CassandraLamontaigne · 10/09/2018 15:00

Stop ironing! Hours saved right there Grin
My dh does housework (sometimes Envy not envy) with headphones on listening to music or a podcast.
Your dh needs decompression time. OK fine, don't we all. But where's your decompression time?

Original poster
GirlFliesHome · 10/09/2018 15:01

Laundry!!!!!! Love that idea Cassandra.

OP posts:
Original poster
GirlFliesHome · 10/09/2018 15:04

I don't have decompression time. DH keeps insisting I need time to myself, time for a hobby etc, and he would be supportive and step in to facilitate that, but there is nothing I can think of doing for myself.

I think writing a daily / weekly list of jobs and getting everyone to pick would be a damned good start.

OP posts:
Original poster
GirlFliesHome · 10/09/2018 15:05

online shopping is definitely on the cards too. I've never been great at mealplanning but need to just do it.

OP posts:
Hideandgo · 10/09/2018 15:06

Some of that money you make by not working at home MUST be ringfenced to be used to cover what you can’t do because neither of you are homemakers. I do not understand why people don’t get this. I completely understand that some people are on the bones of their arse despite both working but anyone who can afford 2 bottles of wine a week in the grocery shop can afford a cleaner. This to me is an essential family expense, like paying your electricity, when you both work. If you can afford more, you outsource more cleaning hours and laundry.

CassandraLamontaigne · 10/09/2018 15:09

Drinking coffee, eating cake and reading a book in a cafe on your own every Saturday is a very worthwhile hobby!
I like yoga and am going to start zumba soon

Original poster
GirlFliesHome · 10/09/2018 15:10

You have a truly excellent point Hide.

My parents both grew up in very poor households, and they are a bit sneery about my cleaner. I have always just said ; 'It's a quality of life issue'.

Looks like I need to pay more attention to my own words!

OP posts:
Delatron · 10/09/2018 15:18

Where’s your husband in all this? What does he do to help?

Delatron · 10/09/2018 15:19

Sorry, missed the part about depression. But it would help to delegate some tasks to him.
Online shopping. Up the cleaners hours. Don’t iron. Bulk buy presents for parties.

timeisnotaline · 10/09/2018 15:25

If he says he is happy to take some of the load then have him do that?
We do roughly - cook Sunday double quantities for sun and mon. Easy meal like ravioli or M&S curry tues. cook wed for wed and thurs. Friday is ad hoc. So mon- thurs we really only cook properly once most weeks.
We definitely can’t collapse at 8:30 though! Life admin is horrendous. and yes it includes holiday booking so first world problem I know. I’ve just transferred funds to the govt childcare account, attempted once more to understand the rolling top up limit, booked baby immunisations and done half an H&M order.

Hooli · 10/09/2018 15:57

I second the list of jobs. The agreement in our house is whoever isn't bathing the kids gets tea done (kids eat separately to us, one at nursery the other has a big school dinner so likes a snack). Then whoever didn't do tea has to return the kitchen to a livable state - sides wiped, floor swept, draining board cleared.

Friday night one does kitchen and bathroom floor with the steam cleaner, the other sorts the living room. Bathroom wiped down every night while kids in bath. Makes it manageable.

However - how had I never thought of sending out towels and bed linen?? They are the bane of my winter life!!