Work Life balance tips

[GirlFliesHome]

Just that really. After yet another weekend spent doing life admin and feeling like I have failed at literally everything - motherhood, work, family, wife..... I'd be grateful for tips about what to do to make life easier. We both work full time, but my commute is less so I leave the house at 7.30,drop the kids off at breakfast club and in the office by 8.45. I leave at 5.15, home by 6.30. I make a quick dinner, barely have time for homework, bathtime and reading. I collapse around 8 pm. Up at 5.30 am to tidy and sort lunches etc. I just feel like I am doing everything badly. I booked today off as I had a GP appointment and thought I would be able to just chill out, but I find I am MNetting and trying to catch up on the laundry.

I need tips. Your top tips. :)

Yep, the linen being sent out is a game changer
One more thing Girl :give your DH responsibility for a whole section of housework. I mean, not "putting a wash on when he thinks of it /Tues and Thurs" but "laundry" so that's checking the baskets, putting on machine, hanging out clothes, taking them in, airing them, putting them away in relevant room/wardrobe.
Otherwise he'll stick on the machine and smugly walk away thinking he's a great help but you're stuck with the actual task of seeing it all through.
Doesn't have to be laundry, that's just an example.

These are all fabulous ideas......and exactly what I was looking for.

If people do not mind, I'd love some meal planning ideas also.

Thank you so much. I'm already starting to feel more enthused and on top of things.

I don't meal plan as such but just to give you an idea of this weeks

Sunday - pork tenderloin roast dinner

Monday - curry (prepared sunday using up leftover chicken from Saturday)

Tuesday lasagne (prepared sunday plus one went into freezer) with garlic bread

Wednesday -roast chicken potatoes veg etc

Thursday - quesadillas made with the leftover chicken (not a magic MN chicken but we have veg heavy roast dinners and so can definitely get two meals from a large roast chicken) - Thursday night DS1 (13) cooks

Friday - lamb tagine from the freezer with cous cous - batch cooked a couple of weeks ago

Saturday not sure yet since we're going to dinner with friends.

So actually, this week I will only cook sunday and Wednesday.

Love it. :)

I have a three week meal plan which means we never get bored, but I just refer to it when I do the online shop. I get two deliveries a week - one on Thursday as I have more time / inclination to cook on thurs. / fri and an easy option, perhaps baked potatoes on sat as I often work. I get another delivery on Sunday and will usually cook two to three meals whilst doing the roast, ready to heat up during the week.

I also find that I do less top up shops with this method, and less eating in bulk than if I bought for a whole week (teenagers, just you wait!)

We have a rota, it's never too early to get dc involved in helping - unloading the bottom rack of the dishwasher, straightening the sitting room, shovelling washing in the machine so you can set it going, taking out rubbish / recycling. Jobs are assigned for each day so everyone does their fair share without me feeling I need to remind dh all the time.

When my dc were younger we used to have a ten minutes before dinner tidy up, rewarded with extra stories at bedtime.

We wash our clothes individually, so no sorting. Any whites (which are few) go in with my bedding at the end of the week.

Cleaner comes for two hours a week. The more frequent the visit, the less time it takes to clean, so will become more efficient and get more done in the time.

Never go shopping, ever, All done online.

Have less stuff, therefore less to tidy. All dc stuff returned to their bedroom after dinner.

M&S ultimate non iron shirts. I iron my own stuff. Everyone else in my house is old enough to use the iron if the want flat clothes.

With regard to meal planner think about which days are easier than others. So for example I am always knackered on Monday so it's always a pasta dish which I can assemble in advance or just chuck on a jar of freshly cooked sauce from the freezer.

Tuesday involves something with mince or beans.

Wednesday is curry night.

Etc.

Friday is fake away to reward myself for getting through another week.

Lots of great ideas on this thread.

Definately share jobs as much as possible. Is you our wash on, he put it out to dry
Baskets for each person so they can put their own clothes away

I agree with weekly cleaner
Online shop
Weekend batch cook
School dinners
No ironing
Delegate jobs i.e. Kids sort out own swimming bags.
Team up with other parents and share drop off pick up duties for clubs etc.

No ironing - hang stuff up as soon as out of drier
Baskets - everyone's washing goes straight into their own basket and they have to put it away themselves
Cleaner is a must
Kids all have roles - empty dishwasher, put recycling out etc
Online shopping twice weekly
Amazon prime
Handy list of meals - easy to do a meal planner if you can flick through the meals and pick
Kids have school dinners

How many kids? Any chance of an au pair or similar that can take the place of breakfast and after school club and drive them to and from school? Could pick up some of the house jobs?

Definitely assign responsibilities for husband

And just go out! Costa with a book! The gym, a walk whatever - you need time out

The no ironing is a marmite suggestion. Personally I think clothes need ironing, unless perhaps you are super organised and take things immediately out of a hot dryer and hang them. But the super organised are not generally starting this sort of thread.

In our house things get washed and dried and then sit about waiting to be put away so they will need ironing. But we iron as we need things (apart from school uniform which is all done on a Sunday then goes into one of those hanging compartments with five sections - every item together right down to the pants and socks)

No ironing at all, even school stuff
School dinners
Bath time every other day (sometimes less...)
Cleaner
Tighten belts and reduce working hours if possible
Gave up swimming lessons
Bought five sets of uniform
All school admin dealt with on day it arrives
Make time each weekend for family outing - might just be walk to local park - just makes you feel better about it all
List of chores on white board - my depressed DH responds well to this as otherwise he doesn’t know what needs doing which adds to his depression

Declutter your entire house, go completely minimal, Marie Kondo the sjit out of everything. This way you can clean a whole house in minutes.

I buy antibacterial cleaning wipes and floor wipes and use them in between proper cleans to keep everything clean and sanitised.

Look at the organised mum method. Assign everyone jobs and attach pocket money (if you give) accordingly.

Go minimal with cooking. Easy, quick and healthy: salmon fillets in oven with asparagus and microwavable rice. Done in about 2 minutes prep, wash and sprinkle olive oil and sea salt, bake for 15-20 minutes. Done and trust me absolutely delicious. Can give you more meal ideas like that if interested.

Uniform:one set per day, so no stress and go for non iron stuff. Outsource ironing to a local person in need for money.

Online supermarket shopping for food. Once you have shopped 1-2 you will find it very easy to do, as you can pick your favourites and add them to your basket. Ocado are great for new customers as they offer free delivery and money off.

Stop all after school activities if possible. In my opinion, kids are doing way too much and need down time. Also ditto for weekends. Unless it's something that they are really keen on and enjoy, no need to be packing things in and drive yourself crazy managing them. Share lifts with other parents to give each other a break if they choose to continue anything.

For physio, my therapist comes at home (but I pay privately). Would that be an option for you?

Husband needs to be an equal, if you need to micromanage him to begin with so be it. But for the love of God don't be a martyr. Get him to do his fair share. Kids too. You are a family unit. Sharing is caring and all that.

Pre plan and diarise activities for you to get some down time. You need a break. Also discuss with work possibility of working from home some hours/days if at all possible.

Up your vitamins and supplements in case you are deficient and your fatigue is a result of that.

Good. All good. And hard core advice very much appreciated.

I'm listening.

Thanks all.

I don’t batch cook either. Just seems like more weekend time doing chores. I just cook easy things. Pesto pasta. Pressure cooked chilli. Pressure cooked curry. Maybe a plastic meal one night.

Meal plan wise, I don’t like to have a rotational weekly menu, so instead I have a file of recipes by category and which books they are in.

So I have a list of pasta dishes, a list of rice dishes, and so on. I mark each by “easy” or not. Then when I sit and do the online shopping I can refer to it for inspiration.

I also (eco crime alert) use foil dishes to hold unbaked pasta bakes, lasagne, fish pie, cottage pie etc which I construct then freeze. That covers flat out days. One or two super easy meals a week. Sometimes it still all goes to ratchet though and we end up on freezer food.

We both work full time but from your OP it sounds like we share the load more equally. I go into work early and do pick up/ds dinner, husband does dress/breakfast/drop off but comes home later. Can you look at a more flexible work pattern to take away some of the strain?

We take it in turns with bedtime and only bath him every other day. While this is happening, the other tidies the house and cooks dinner for us.

Re: meals, I often try to utilise the slow cooker. Can prep in ten mins the night before then have a meal you only need to make pasta/rice with.

No after school activities, we do these Sat/Sun morning. I generally do most washing on a weekend and cleaning every other Sunday when dh takes son swimming. I’m nearly through a full declutter of the house and it’s making general tidying/cleaning so much easier. Ditto re: anti bac wipes and find microfibre cloths/duster really handy. Using the duster I’ve dusted all key surfaces in 15 mins.

No ironing at all, except a few shirts that I’ll do as and when for me for work.

Life admin is otherwise terrible and never goes away. I’d really look for a couple of outlets for yourself - I do crochet/knitting since having da and have recently started a weekly dance class which allows me to escape one bedtime per week!

One last thing, I learnt a lot about decluttering from Dana White, much more relatable than Marie Kondo who is loveable but rather crazy! I’ve recently downloaded her audiobook ‘How to manage your home without losing your mind’, should be plenty more ideas there too.

Oh, and I’ve given full responsibility of kitchen and bathroom cleans to my husband. We keep on top of it with regular wipes then he does regular deep cleans which make your eyes water he’s used that much product!

I have a white board in the kitchen, on it I note meals for each day of the week, any appointments for all of us and my work pattern. I also note any nights out, play dates etc and things like the day the cleaner comes round together with staples that we’ve run out of for shopping, and any life admin tasks (eg booking dental appointments). Each of us have a different coloured pen and if it’s in your colour it’s yours to do. I write the board on a Sunday and we both then update our diaries, check pinch points etc. It also stops the endless questions about what’s for dinner.

I have 5 sets of uniform and do washing Friday/Saturday only. Everything dried and put away on Sunday, I do the ironing on Sunday night (can’t bear wrinkled looking kids) while the kids settle in to bed and my DH sorts the lounge and playroom out. We can then relax with a glass of wine knowing we’re starting the week on a clean sheet.

I either shop online or do scan and shop so I can pack my bags as I go round the supermarket so all my fridge stuff is together, all my store cupboard stuff etc.

My cleaner cleans the kids bedrooms, changes their beds, cleans their bathroom and the lounge, dining room and kitchen. Two hours weekly which is a godsend. We’ve got a deal with the kids that they get 15 mind additional screen time if their bedrooms are tidy when they go to bed.

I can still descend into chaos at times but it’s easily sorted because the systems mostly work.

I totally agree that if you’re both working full time, and you can in anyway afford it, domestic stuff needs to be outsourced.

Didn't read all the responses but 5.30 am start is very early. I have enough uniform to last the week and have drawers (from argos) with seven baskets. So pants socks vest and uniform goes in. Plus Saturday's football stuff etc.

Declutter your house as much as possible. That is a game changer. Less stuff equals less time wasted looking. I have see through containers for all sorts. Even a birthday box with spare cards candles and gift bags. Once a month or so I go into town and plan ahead (but you could do this online) so I bought the Halloween costumes and a birthday present later this month.

Cook two roast chickens at a time. Make a curries with extra meat. Stew in slow cooker. Stick on early Saturday morning and will do two days. Never make a meal without making an extra portion to freeze. Then don't forget frozen peppers and onions etc. Saves loads of time.

Cleaning is hard to keep on top of! But I put dc in bath and do bathroom while they are in it. The night I am only having to reheat a meal I will clean kitchen in that time. Admin .. well I take a photo of important letters use my lunch break to renew insurance etc. Today I cleaned my car in my lunch break.

Meal planing and batch cooking need to be done together. Find workable pairs of your fave meals e.g. spaghetti Bol and chilli. Cook up the mince needed for both meals, add onions seasoning etc. Then split the mince and prep both meals or freeze the cooked mince. So easy to defrost and add the sauce in a few mins.

Cook extra rice and freeze. It only take a few minutes to warm through with boiling water and saves you 20 mins of mid week cooking time.

Use a slow cooker!! Tea ready when you are.

Outsource everything. Get DH to take some of the mental load, not just doing jobs assigned to him but noticing a job needs doing. A key part of outsourcing will be to stop making packed lunches. If the kids want them, they make them before bed. Not old enough to make them? not old enough to have a vote then.

Does DH get up at 5:30 too?

He does. He's out the door at 6 as his train is at 6.17. I get up at the same time and try and start the day with some modicum of order.

I think making lunches the night before is a good idea. I can clean the kitchen and listen to the Archers at the same time. It's an extra 14 minutes clawed back.

I also like the idea of the multiple drawers with complete uniforms in them.

I think a cleaner once a fortnight is neither here nor there. For a family house with lots of people using the loo and kitchen and no time or energy for cleaning you need at least weekly help.
I would prioritise this over other expenses.
Also I would get her for longer so she can stick a wash in when she arrives, do cleaning and then hang the wash up before she leaves.

Mental load though is a good point. It's mainly mine. When school started this week, I was away overnight for a conference. So I had out for DH all ready DS's1 medication (epipens- newly ordered and in date; asthma medication; newly ordered and in date; list of days he had to leave school early for allergy specialist, dentist, physio and educational psych appointments) plus other things. DH was a bit askance 'All this kit has to go to school with him?' Um, well yes.

I know you’re looking to outsource cleaning but the organised mum method does a weekly meal plan. I haven’t tried them
myself but apparently they are tasty, quick and easy. She’s on insta, Facebook and has a blog.

Pat yourself on the back for doing the important stuff like getting the children sorted and helping them with reading and bedtime, for all the things that don't collapse ..everyone fed , bills payed. Because actually that's doing pretty good.

And have lists so you can tick things off. Makes me feel good anyway.