Make up a story about how you know the above user?

[SteveHo]

just for fun.

I literally bumped into Fromage and her partner at a tea dance at the Old Colonial Hotel, Torquay. They were very gracious about it, invited my partner and me to join them at their table and we had a lovely afternoon dancing and drinking cocktails, until they had to dash off to catch a plane. It was only when we were leaving that we found out they'd left us to pay the bill, including a week's stay in the Bridal Suite, 4 hired Bentleys, Roast Swan Birthday Banquet, several cases of Moët & Chandon, Thai massages, hire of a well known chamber orchestra, exotic chiropodist, extreme ironing service, travelling gynaecologist, bathing service, dog trainer, non gender specific lap dancer, pagan tattoo artist, exorcist, urban mime artist and a truly weird porn viewing list..

oh Giggorata and I go way back. When we were at nursery school together she used to hog the best ride-on toy for hours and bite anyone that tried to take it off her.

I met @FourFriedChickensDryWhiteToast in a colonic irrigation clinic. Congestion is not the word.

Tits was our NDN, she invited us round for a barbie, I wont tell you what she cooked. Let's just say squirrel tails aren't very tasty.

Steam trains quite literally crashed into my life when the heel snapped on her purple studded stiletto and she fell off the podium she was dancing on in a Newcastle gay club, and landed on me. Best hook up ever!

I can back this up, I was the bartender in the mankini giving out glitter condoms.

I sold sneaky the mankini? Still think the gold would have been better.

I bought a tasselled gem encrusted fankini off titsbumfannythelot - she is well named. 😉

Fankini 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Giggorata is my personal shopper. I asked for a tasselled hem fantail cocktail dress. Imagine my surprise!!!
When I returned the wrong item the error was put down to: the phone reception was poor during my telephone order. V odd that, as I asked her face to face. Well, face to magazine - goodness knows what was on her mind —whatshewasreading—

Giggorata was probably reading another letter from my lawyers denying ever having known her or been to Torquay or having ever eaten that truly delicious swan banquet.

But Madeiramosaic and I met at the Hotel Royale, Margate, when booking our places at the tea dance, just the other week. I'm sure we'll share a table. Also, does anyone know a good place for caviar in Margate, and where I can hire a quality motorcycle acrobatic team and a tier two royal (non European) with an open mind? Literally asking for a friend.

Fromage is my identical twin sister and the bane of my life. Since swiping me over the head with my own rattle in our pram aged five months, she has done everything possible to get rid of me, including pushing me down a flight of concrete stairs aged five, locking me out on a December night when we were ten, and substituting tictacs for my super-strength antibiotics when I had tonsillitis and a raging temperature, aged fifteen. She invariably gets off with her appalling behaviour as she is an accomplished actress endowed with wide-eyed innocence and a plausible story. The last time I saw Fromage was after she persuaded my fiancée to elope with her last summer rather than waiting for our wedding this year. My fiancée, under the impression she was me, agreed and only discovered his mistake when I caught up with them in their Scunthorpe hotel a week later and pointed out our one distinguishing feature - a star shaped mole on my right inner thigh. However, after a week of my sister's whorish ways, to my utter humiliation and horror, he refused to leave her, confessing with embarrassment that he preferred the contents of her inner thighs to mine! Conceding defeat yet again, I departed with dignity, only stopping to add one more distinguishing feature to my twin's appearance - missing front teeth. I have since heard that, following successful orthodontic work, she is putting her acting skills to very lucrative use in the Torquay area.

@Bettercallsaul1 and I go way back, all the way to band camp. I'm not the flute player 😉

Titsbum and I met on a 'Try your hand at naturism' holiday in Sweden last December. She liked it much more than me and vowed never to get dressed again.

I met UAEMum on a plane doing a parachute jump. We were both brickiing it and agreed to hold hands and go together. Just as well, as her parachute failed. She owes me her life.....

Giggorata was on the door at Club Tropicana when I went for my 18th. Wouldn't let me in even though I had ID. Don't care. We had a better night at 42nd Street anyway

Ikiboo had my surrogate baby for me
But don’t tell her where I live as we lost contact ( deliberately) as I didn’t want her turning up at my door

And saying ...Gimme my baby back or else

( cos I have it on very good authority...she can be like that,)

Phew was good to get that off my chest!
( sneaks off into the night...clutching baby!

Dowser and I met at nct group. We breastfed our kids until they reached high school. Breast really is best.

Tits stayed in the hotel room next to my family on a city break to Paris. She latched on to us and followed us everywhere. We tried to sneak out a few times without her but the creaky floorboards in the hallway kept giving us away. She tried to blag her way in to our dinner reservation at the Eiffel Tower but I gave security ‘the nod’ and last saw her being carried away by two guards, with an Alsatian running behind chomping on her guide book. C’est la vie.

I met Madeiramosaic at Scotland Yard, when we were both making eerily similar complaints about hotel blagfiend and con supremo Fromage. What Madeiramosaic had to say about the antics of the motorcycle acrobatic team and the identity of the royals - and the part they played in the whole sordid business in Margate - was shocking and world changing.
No wonder Margate is undergoing a Renaissance.
But I still managed to astonish and revolt her with the dirt on the exorcist and extreme ironing business in Torquay.... what will Fromage do next?

When I was a drama student in the 80s @Giggorata was a bit of a legend.

Sir John Gielgud, Kenneth Branagh, Charlie Chaplan - she’d had them all.

I believe at one time she was also briefly married to Zsa Zsa Gabor.

I remember seeing CormoranStrike in a student play back in the 80s. She was playing one of the trees in Macbeth,

Rumour had it that she was very jealous of another drama student at the time - Giggorata, I think. It was said that she put a real asp into the basket when Giggorata beat her to the part of Cleopatra and sharpened the dagger before her suicide scene in Romeo and Juliet. CormoranStrike finally gave up on acting and became a (particularly vindictive) traffic warden.