Hilarious FB stealth boasts

[lovelyjubilly]

'I feel so guilty! I have taken my children out doing fun activities every day of the summer holidays so far for the past 3 weeks and today we are having a day at home. I feel so bad that they're going to be bored! Anyone else feeling guilty about having a day at home?'

Any other gems?

One girl from school bless her she fancies herself as a fitness blogger. She barely has any followers and her posts are basically just eggs on toast everyday.
She loves to ‘make memories ‘
She’s never off her phone 50 insta stories a day. To be fair at least she’s doing the positive things to take her mind off the fact she’s single at least she’s not lying in bed depressed.
But she constantly needs validation through social media.
She says ‘oh I’m
Always asked how am I so great, so organised so busy all the time the truth is I’m only human ‘
Oh I was given a compliment about how great I am in the gym today we should all be nice to each other everyday and build each other up.
Now you would see her one day and she would dirty look you and act all high and mighty because she thinks she is a ceo of a multinational company the way she goes on ( she’s a manager in a gym and I don’t think she’s full time)
We get it you work and you go to the gym and raise your kids ( we all do it ) but she honestly thinks she’s the only one doing all these things

i know one well did i unfollowed her

she thinks her child is a mensa student-oh hes doing so gr4eat im glad i push him he got a certificate today

cracked me up when another mother at the same school said they all got one today

same person-my dh is soooooooo funny he said look there right said fred to a woman with her boobs showing-er thats not funny love its sexist-and yes siad man is a pig

I have a funeral boaster on mine. There's always a post saying something like "oh no not another funeral (sad face emoji)" with lots of tears and reminders to live life to the full, followed by people sending lots of hugs and prayers in the comments. Thing is, these are funerals of people who weren't even that close to her, like someone she used to know from work a few years ago, or her great-uncle who died peacefully at the age of 93. Sad, yes, but not a great tragedy, and it's not nice the way she makes it all about her.

Not a huge Russell Kane fan, but this is rather apt.
#notahugerussellkanefan #ratherapt #hashtagsarehardwork.
www.facebook.com/officialrussellkane/videos/1435175003224149/

I'm with @SamanthaBrique on this one. (After all, what greater authority could there be on the art of the internet brag? )

Nothing wrong with being proud of your dc or sharing photos of a fun day out or even being - heaven forbid! - a bit smug.

This thread started off laughing at people who humblebrag - pretend to be terribly modest and self-effacing whilst actually having a good ol' boast. Which can be pretty amusing and cringeworthy to witness.

Though I agree that some examples on this thread don't really fit the original post and it's become another "general annoyances on SM" thread.

@Tidythatmess
I've got a friend who also does check in in first class airport lounges and flash hotels - wonder if it's the same person ?

I did my own one and checked in each time I went to the local rubbish tip 😁😁

I use comedy hashtags to passive aggressively make fun of my FB peeps who post shit like this.

I have one friend who has the #bestkids and immerses herself fully in their lives because #familytime. Every post is about their #winning brilliance or her hard work for the schools #community. So far so good.

A few times a year, we are treated to her holiday pics, starting in the first class lounge on her way to Antigua/Maldives - with the mani and diamond rings clutching champagne of course
The captions are always along the lines of “special times with my best friend and wonderful loving husband Steve blah blah heart emoji” with a picture of her and sunburnt Steve trying to suck his fat tummy in. (Steve’s FB posting is consistently about football and missing the match.)

Now, I go out quite a bit and I see things. Sorry love, but Steve is really not your best friend but he does seem very loving with the ladies

For example I had to unfollow a woman who would post things like this (with accompanying selfie)

"I'm looking soooo rough today - was so surprised that someone stopped me in the street to tell me I'm the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen! Lol I guess he should have gone to Specsavers?!?! [insert several "Confused" faces]

Cue lots of "Oh I'm not surprised! Looking hot!" type comments. Cringe.

I’d go back on Facebook if these hilarious posters were my friends. High entertainment value

I did my own one and checked in each time I went to the local rubbish tip

I have another friend who checked in at Poundland once, but I'm pretty sure she was being ironic,.

the humble bragger who uses Facebook to show how woke they are...virtue signalling heaven for them. I have a couple of friends who post daily far left stuff, including a vocal TRA who posts something in support of trans women, but prefaces it with “any transphobic responses on here will be instantly deleted” and another who posts similar stuff. Neither of them actually do anything politically to help people. They just post smug statuses. More action,(would be useful) less words...

LARLARLAND

Fair point about my post, I should've 'rephrased it "what people didn't know" and not "what they didn't tell anyone".
I understand they're under no obligation to tell people about their personal lives, but the point i was trying to make is that there was an obvious 'falseness' about the wonderful, loving hubby statement.
...... I mean, He's hardly a catch if he's been shagging his wife's friend is he?

My stealth boaster is a MLM'er too
I also have 2 friends that insist on airing their grievances online. They usually delete them, so I'm wondering if drink is involved, but my god, some of the stuff they post

All I know is my children are laughing and having whale of a time in my photos. DN just seems so glum and serious in hers.

Stealth boast?

Russell Kane is fucking irritating but he makes a good point in that video! "A boast within a post"... spot on!

Saw one today - a close up of the poster's eye on facebook with long, overly mascaraed lashes and the caption "Does anyone else have such long natural eyelashes that they curl up almost all the way to your eyebrows? So so ANNOYING".

Must be really annoying. So annoying that you put on 80 layers of mascara to over emphasise this fact.

Excellent humble brag though, 8/10.

@Dustbunny1900 this is going to sound like a stealth boast

I once had one of those notes on the windscreen in the supermarket car park! I wonder if it was the same man? It was absolutely cringe and I couldn't screw it up and chuck it away quickly enough. I didn't post about it on social media because i thought it was fucking creepy!

They are the online modern day version of Hyacinth Bouquet (Bucket)

@Dustbunny1900 @rosettesforjill
Years ago I had one of those notes left on my windscreen , it gave me the creeps as it was an empty beach carpark in the middle of winter and I was walking my dogs , came back to find the note - quite a long one about how wonderful I looked etc etc which wasn't remotely true as I was scruffy as hell in dirty trainers, jodhpurs and ripped jacket simply out with the dogs - I don't think it was meant to be insulting as it was long and don't think it was written there but beforehand - as I say creepy

An old friend of mine married a rich man and now most posts include some (not so) stealthy reference to their wealth, ie she'll post a selfie with her head just tilted to show the car logo on the head rest behind her, and #porschelife. Or a pic to show her newly manicured nails, resting on her Chanel handbag. Outings are always a selfie and a load of hashtags of the designer brands she's wearing.
I can understand the odd brag, who doesn't like to show off something they're proud of every now and then?! But this is OTT. She's a nice, down to earth girl, someone close to her ought to point out how naff it all is!

I knew one of these she was super competitive irl regarding her children, brands, cars, husband and money! Her husband had lots of affairs, she was in massive debt and her kids were miserable. I actually felt really sorry for them. I cut contact with her as the worse her life got the more she would try and trash mine. She said and did some very mean things to a group of us who were her friends!

There's nothing stealthy about my fb friend's almost constant boasting. It's so tedious I unfollowed her for quite a while. Only followed again when a post by a mutual friend highlighted some of the difficulties she'd been through at the time, and I felt bad for not knowing and offering support. Didn't slow down the bragging mind you!

School mum (friends everyone to plug her business - yep) did 35 posts when her child got star of the week in school. Then we had the one about how "reading's so important and it's only because of my famalam's hard work that Mary is top of the class by 5 book bands and reading so well" and about five lines of hashtag vomit after that. Now I hear the readers in that class and I know who is on what book band (even if I didn't - my kid's got no sense of tact or secrecy and bloody well tells me) and I also know that my own kid is on exactly the same book band cos they tend to move the cluster of 2 or 3 of them up at the same point in time (mainly cos this mother would go nuts if her child wasn't).

I just smile and ignore.

Another relative posts about how amazing her eldest child is, and her husband constantly - reality is the relationship between and the eldest kid has almost completely broken down since the child started developing a mind of their own and actually arguing back and not just being a beautifully dressed doll, the marriage is absolutely wrecked and they barely speak to each other (and eldest child is very much a daddy's girl so relative loathes that). See it on FB though and you'd think parent of the year material.

Another relative dabbled in MLM and has never quite ditched the hashtag vomit brag habit. Harder to remove relatives from friends without them knowing and I'm normally fairly ruthless in who I cull.

I also have a friend who is ridiculously fond of posting photos of his latest episode of petrol tank chicken - how low he can get the fuel tank to be by the end of his journey. One day he'll lose and have a very soggy walk of shame with a petrol can and we'll all be there to take the piss out of him.

@prettygreywalls I was in revolting gym kit and it was a supermarket car park, with my then two year old... I wonder if these men ever have any success with that approach?!

Anyway - will stop hijacking and let people get back to the stealth boasts