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Staying at in-laws with dc and there is no food

960 replies

daytimemom · 11/08/2018 16:30

Arrived at in-laws with DH (their son) and our two dc’s. For context, they are very well off. Live in huge house in the country, spend six months a year on cruises, have new car etc.

This is the first time we have visited them in their new house. Normally they stay at our house where we cook meals for them, provide wine and snacks and generally be very hospitable. They certainly enjoy all our food and drink.

This is what they served DH and I for dinner; two small roast potato’s, one small parsnip, teaspoon of peas and carrots, three slices of chicken. Our dc who are 11 and 12 had the same but with one roast potato rather than two. Dessert was one scoop of ice cream. DH asked if he could have another scoop but was told no as the carton (think Ben & Jerry’s small sized carton) had to last them a week.

By evening the dc were ravenous. I asked mil if dc could have a slice of toast or cereal. Was told they only had muesli and one small loaf of brown seeded bread. DC do not like either. I asked if there was any fruit was told no. DH asked if there was a bag of crisps, again no.

I’m not proud of this but DH and I went through the fridge and cupboards trying to find something to eat but the cupboards were literally bare.

DH went out this morning to buy some bread, cheese etc (which fil helped himself too) and I suggested to mil we go out to dinner but she insisted she is cooking. Dreading another tiny meal & the dc’s being hungry.

DH said they are just being tight by not spending money on food and drink. I quite frankly want to go home. Simple things like they knew we were coming but the bathroom had no towels or soap, no mirror or lamp in guest bedroom. Could they not have bought some cornflakes & snacks knowing most kids don’t eat muesli!

They have always been mean with money, poor DH as a uni student was penniless living off toast and pawning his stuff while his parents refused and financial assistance.

OP posts:
lljkk · 11/08/2018 18:07

Get some lovely pizzas, premier deluxe from supermarket.
Spend ages cooking them and let the smells waft over the house.
Refuse to share.

Repeat for any other nice smelly food you can prepare, pancakes, coffee cake, scones...

mononoaware1907 · 11/08/2018 18:07

To me that's the normal amount of food that I eat, however no excuse for cupboards/fridge being empty. When I have guests I take into consideration their appetite, not mine. Rude.

WhatchaMaCalllit · 11/08/2018 18:08

I wouldn't bother going out to buy food.

I'd pack up and leave and when the car is packed up, I'd get DH to tell them why you're all leaving. It's not welcoming to not have any food, even Lidl/Aldi cornflakes and milk or bread for toast and some cheese. You aren't looking for 5* or similar just enough that no one is hungry all the time and wanting to graze all the time. They invited you all to stay with them which is more than just providing a bed for you. It involves being hosts and they are not up to the task any more as 'pensioners'. Your DH needs to tell his parents this. They need a reminder about how to be hosts.
Leave. Stop somewhere for a meal and just head home!

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Topseyt · 11/08/2018 18:11

I don't think they sound skint. I think they sound like tightwads.

I don't buy the "small appetites" either, as it appears FIL at least might have his own stash of snacks - evidenced by the hot cross buns.

SuzanneVaguer · 11/08/2018 18:12

Were you all actually invited???

HelenUrth · 11/08/2018 18:12

“oh you like snacking all the time do you”

Why is this cow, who is prepared to leave her grandchildren hungry, not being challenged?

Skyejuly · 11/08/2018 18:13

What was dinner this eve?

findingmywaytoday · 11/08/2018 18:13

If it's stingy portions tonight. Eat and then say you're either going out for dinner (without them) as you're hungry (if you eat earlier). Or if it's late order a takeaway and don't hide the fact you've done it. No need to offer either of them anything on the basis they're full.

MrsChollySawcutt · 11/08/2018 18:14

Honestly, they are getting older and probably don't eat as much as they used to. The portions you describe don't actually sound unreasonable for a lunch.

Go to the supermarket, get whatever cereals, fruits, snacks etc you want in and try being nice.

twoundertwo1234 · 11/08/2018 18:16

What did you get given for tea??

Bluntness100 · 11/08/2018 18:18

Honestly, they are getting older and probably don't eat as much as they used to

Except if they are at the ops, then they neck it, and of course, secret hot cross buns they don't share you mean? Confused

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 11/08/2018 18:19

My partners parents used to do this. It drove me mad. I would now 100% go home. It's unwelcoming; and being hungry is horrible.

Topseyt · 11/08/2018 18:19

OP is probably still searching for her minuscule meal for tonight.

lljkk · 11/08/2018 18:21

Pictures of tonite's fare plated up, from OP, would be fantastic. Wink

My ILs are elderly & feed us well when we visit. They comment Shock on how much we eat... but still want to see us well fed! My parents are elderly & buy us buckets more food than we need (& extremely wildly more than they themselves eat). No excuses.

Cupoteap · 11/08/2018 18:21

Yes serve them tiny portions and if they ask apologise for force feeding them every other time they visited.

Buy food and keep it in your room!

FrayedHem · 11/08/2018 18:22

A huge house you say. Sounds like they have secret snack room somewhere! Send the children on a treasure hunt.

I'd be making an early exit.

Lunde · 11/08/2018 18:23

MrsChollySawcutt: Honestly, they are getting older and probably don't eat as much as they used to. The portions you describe don't actually sound unreasonable for a lunch

Oh come off it - what is it with competitive under eating on MN!

Firstly - OP says this was what they were served for dinner not lunch

Secondly - OP says that they eat a lot more when staying at her house

Thirdly - FIL obviously is hungry as well - evidenced by his secret stash of hot cross buns (that he didn't offer to share) and digging in to the extra bread and cheese that OP bought this morning.

Finally - you must come from a very small eating family if one slice of meat, one small potato and a teaspoon of veg is a reasonable dinner for an older child or teenager.

anothermama · 11/08/2018 18:24

This sounds awful, I hope you manage to find some food! We asked my in-laws to bring lunch when they first came to visit after my daughter was born - it was only about 5 days after I'd given birth and we weren't really up to hosting a family dinner. They brought 3 sandwiches and an open bag of crisps to feed 7 adults. I was raging. Apparently they 'don't really eat lunch'. Except they definitely do if someone else is providing it.

diddl · 11/08/2018 18:26

I think with the lunch though it would have been easy to do extra veg to fill it out.

If the kids don't like muesli or seeded bread then if you are staying you'll need to get stuff in for breakfast?

Melliegrantfirstlady · 11/08/2018 18:27

Order a takeaway!

And give them a teeny portion

Photographs required Wink

Madbengalmum · 11/08/2018 18:28

Why put up with it? Just go home FGS!

Crunchymum · 11/08/2018 18:30

Make sure next time they visit you have zero booze in.

Serve them water. From the tap. And that is it.

For the time being you need to do a.food shop or go home.

Topseyt · 11/08/2018 18:30

It wasn't lunch. It was dinner, so the main meal of the day.

Needsmorebeans · 11/08/2018 18:33

My DBs ex in laws were like this. I think it was a combination of over committed to mortgage when younger so basically 'couldn't afford to eat' and inability to cook. They would buy a tiny M&S quiche and salad to feed 6 for lunch or just wouldn't bother to offer anything at all. Our family would push food and drink at you the minute you walked thru the door, and there was always a pan of soup on the stove and a cake on the table. It's a different culture but it explains how they all ended up with big houses!

daytimemom · 11/08/2018 18:42

Well, we have had our “dinner” which was about a handful of macaroni cheese, two tomatoes (just the 1 tomato for dc though) 2 pieces of cucumber, a teaspoon of sweet corn and one beetroot. There were 3 bread rolls, mil and fil shared 1 breadroll, DH & I shared 1 and the dc shared the other.

All 4 adults shared a bottle of white wine.

I am hungry.

DH asked if there was any more macaroni cheese and mil looked shocked and said no that was it.

I said to the dc’s in front of in laws that I would make them some cheese on toast later (from the supplies DH bought this morning) I may have imagined it but fil’s eyes lit up at the sound of cheese on toast!

OP posts:
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