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Staying at in-laws with dc and there is no food

960 replies

daytimemom · 11/08/2018 16:30

Arrived at in-laws with DH (their son) and our two dc’s. For context, they are very well off. Live in huge house in the country, spend six months a year on cruises, have new car etc.

This is the first time we have visited them in their new house. Normally they stay at our house where we cook meals for them, provide wine and snacks and generally be very hospitable. They certainly enjoy all our food and drink.

This is what they served DH and I for dinner; two small roast potato’s, one small parsnip, teaspoon of peas and carrots, three slices of chicken. Our dc who are 11 and 12 had the same but with one roast potato rather than two. Dessert was one scoop of ice cream. DH asked if he could have another scoop but was told no as the carton (think Ben & Jerry’s small sized carton) had to last them a week.

By evening the dc were ravenous. I asked mil if dc could have a slice of toast or cereal. Was told they only had muesli and one small loaf of brown seeded bread. DC do not like either. I asked if there was any fruit was told no. DH asked if there was a bag of crisps, again no.

I’m not proud of this but DH and I went through the fridge and cupboards trying to find something to eat but the cupboards were literally bare.

DH went out this morning to buy some bread, cheese etc (which fil helped himself too) and I suggested to mil we go out to dinner but she insisted she is cooking. Dreading another tiny meal & the dc’s being hungry.

DH said they are just being tight by not spending money on food and drink. I quite frankly want to go home. Simple things like they knew we were coming but the bathroom had no towels or soap, no mirror or lamp in guest bedroom. Could they not have bought some cornflakes & snacks knowing most kids don’t eat muesli!

They have always been mean with money, poor DH as a uni student was penniless living off toast and pawning his stuff while his parents refused and financial assistance.

OP posts:
SchadenfreudePersonified · 11/08/2018 22:31

Something similar used to be common years ago Dribble - men got the best (and most) food, because they were usually the breadwinner, and you had to keep them healthy and fed if anyone else wanted to eat!

Before the welfare state, if dad didn't work, the family starved.

Nice to know the old traditions haven't died out Grin

Lollypop701 · 11/08/2018 22:37

@SchadenfreudePersonified That was class

GiveMeAllTheGin8 · 11/08/2018 22:44

Did sbe use the cheese for the macaroni Shock

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FlotSHAMnJetson · 11/08/2018 22:51

Your children and 11 and 12 and you've only just found this out..?

frankie001 · 11/08/2018 22:54

Shall we start a Just giving page for you OP?

gallicgirl · 11/08/2018 22:56

Has the OP fainted from lack of food or is she driving home?

QuoadUltra · 11/08/2018 22:56

OP, why has your DH not told his parents to feed his DC appropriately or not to host? He could do it nicely but he should do it!

ChasedByBees · 11/08/2018 22:57

I would hate this and have to leave.

Thesearepearls · 11/08/2018 22:57

I'd flipping love it if people didn't come and stay at ours. Constantly.

We have our own friends. The DC are 18 and 20 and they have their own friends. It is fair to say that our house resembles a hotel most of the time.

CantankerousCamel · 11/08/2018 22:58

I think the only way to deal with this is to stay alive do some shopping to see you through and then feed them bigger all when they visit

SneakyGremlins · 11/08/2018 22:58

I've just had cheese on toast. I'd offer to share but I only made enough for myself and half a slice for the catnip-- Wink

mydogishot · 11/08/2018 22:59

Am I the only one thinking that bought cheese for the kids.
PIl then cooked macaroni cheese.
Fil eyes lit up because you were already eating the cheese

Op hasn't been back because she got so hangry she killed and cooked pil and now all of them are in a meat coma.

SneakyGremlins · 11/08/2018 23:01

I'd imagine humans would be quite gristly, surely?

mydogishot · 11/08/2018 23:11

Like pork apparently

LexieLulu · 11/08/2018 23:13

MIL probably used your cheese for the macaroni!

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 11/08/2018 23:18

I think you must be exaggerating OP. Nobody would be given that amount of food and say nothing! Are you big eaters?

Elephant14 · 11/08/2018 23:25

Read al 14 pages. Everyone is saying go home. There's no explanation from OP why this hasn't been discussed and decided on, no reason why she would allow these people to treat her family like that, no reason given why she cannot simply leave.

Are you being manipulated or co-erced by these people OP? If so then food is the least of your problems and if not, then I don't think much of your parenting to allow your DCs to see their grandparents treat you all like this.

FrayedHem · 11/08/2018 23:37

@Thesearepearls do you partake in snacking and excessive (to you) portions if you are a guest in someone else's house? Or do you stick to your rules?

I'm wondering if the OP's in-laws are just dividing up what they'd usually have for just them between the 6 of them.

SummerIsEasy · 11/08/2018 23:42

My Mother eats like this and has reached the ripe old age of 88 on pretty much a wartime diet, just like in her childhood. She is still the same weight as she was when she got married. TBH, I often wonder if I shouldn't have taken a leaf out of her book, no way would my wedding dress fit these days.

OP, I would hazard a guess that your PIL probably think if you want more food you should just go out and shop for it.

CakeNinja · 11/08/2018 23:43

I think op is in a sated state after feasting on long pork Wink

Littlemissdaredevil · 11/08/2018 23:46

Maybe they have fainted from hunger?

My DB is like this. We drive 2/3 hours to visit and are not even offered a cup of tea most of the time. Last time remembered I half a bottle of drink in my bag so started gluggimg that down thinking they would get the idea and then offer a tea/coffee/glass of water (I’m bf so get thirsty easily). DB then went to get himself a cup of tea and a doughnut and only then did his wife ask him if he was going to share!

SneakyGremlins · 11/08/2018 23:46

Spare ribs, maybe? Wink

Anonnymouse54321 · 11/08/2018 23:49

I'd go home. And tell them why. Ridiculous given how well they eat at yours. I'd be making a lot less effort with thst as well.

Mummyoflittledragon · 11/08/2018 23:55

Thread like this pop up from time to time. Your mil is enjoying treating you like this. She feels superior. Why on earth would you want to stay until Tuesday? Pack up. Pub lunch on the way home.

yorkshireyummymummy · 12/08/2018 00:13

@schadenfreudePersonified
Just choked on my cup of (Yorkshire) tea laughing so much, picturing the face of an outraged Christian while you lick her half of the bun!

My MIL is like this.
I used to dislike celery.
I grew to like it when we went once and discovered MIL had bought shed loads of the stuff for 10p a head. It was eat celery or eat nothing. I discovered I like it best braised. We had celery soup (teeny bowl, no bread) , raw celery ( still can’t eat that although I did then) boiledcelery and braised celery. I peed a lot on that trip.

I would have gone to a shop and filled the boot with bread, cheese, fruit, biscuits, crisps, sweets etc to compensate for the lack of food. I would also get cereal and lots of milk and put these in the house. I would have had to say that you are not giving my children enough to eat and that we will stay till Tuesday but we ( ie us and not the PIL) would be having our main meal out so s not to inconvenience them.
Then, when they came to our home I would apologise for ‘over facing ‘ them all of these years and give them the teeny portions they are feeding you. If they shed for more I would look shocked And say that there isn’t any. Plate up the meals, don’t put extra on the table.
Play the miserable buggers at their own game.