If your house was filthy? And I mean BAD.

[utterfilth]

Name changed for this. I'm so ashamed.

Over the last few years I have had problems with depression and anxiety which have had a terrible impact on my motivation and housekeeping skills. I don't clean or tidy and my house smells.

The wooden floors are dirty, there are cobwebs. Unpacked boxes from a move two years ago. Clutter everywhere. I manage to keep the kitchen clean for the health of my teenage kids.

I am overwhelmed and feel ill at how much I have to do. I can't cope. I can't have anyone visit.

I would never ask a friend to help me - it's that bad. They would be shocked and disgusted at how bad it is.

I know the answer is to start slowly and if I was able to get my head together I would roll my sleeves up. But I just want to get in bed and sleep.

I don't know what I'm asking here for - maybe just a magic motivational kick up the arse?

Can you afford to pay a cleaning company for a one off deep clean, so you start with a clean slate, so to speak?

I would pay professionals to come in and blitz it then just work on declutteting and keeping on top of it myself once they've done the hard bit!

You’re not alone.

Seriously, I bet a lot of us understand.

Paying is well and good but to be honest you might prefer to do it yourself.

When this happened to me I moved everything that could be moved into another room, swept to within an inch of my life, dusted everything, mopped. Then dusted furniture. Moved it back. Repeat.

Shit isn’t it?

I do have a bit of money to spare in the next few months. I'd feel so shamed to ask a company to tackle it. They would have no clue where to start

Could you make a list of what you'd like to achieve and prioritise it, for example if you'd like your bedroom clean and tidy so you can relax in there. Just aim to spend 30 minutes a day doing it until it's done, and then move on to the next room. Or build up the time each day/week if you feel able to. Be kind to yourself, break it down into small achievable tasks. Anxiety and depression is tough

OP I know you haven't specifically mentioned hoarding, but there are various help groups and charities and it may be that some of them offer practical support to get your house cleaned up and back to scratch. I let my house go under similar circumstances, and managed to pay to have the entire top floor decorated, new bathroom etc., everything painted white so now I can see exactly what needs doing and when - even with that tremendous boost I struggle sometimes so I know where you are at. Its getting that kick start with one or two rooms that is so important. Have a look through these:

www.helpforhoarders.co.uk/resources/

hoardinguk.org/about-hoarding/treatment/

Thanks everyone for your understanding and ideas. And for the flowers

Yeah they would know where to start. It's their jobs.

Get them round for a quote. Plan to vacate when the job, go out for the day.

Otherwise give yourself one task a day. In two weeks you won't recognise the place.

You sound very low, have you spoken to your g.p. about the way thus is affecting you. Would your kids help you sort a few things out, can they clean the bathroom, keep their rooms tidy. There are health charities who will help you, I will look to see for you, where abouts do you live.

OP I don't think you should underestimate professional cleaning companies. They take on all sorts of jobs, and will definitely have seen equal to (probably worse than) your house. Sorting these kind of messes out is what they get paid to do. I really think it might be easier if you just had to maintain what someone else has set up for you. Also, once it is done and in a good state, can you get the DC on board with helping you maintain it? For example, if they have to do certain chores like emptying bins, washing pots, vacuuming etc, so it's easier for you to keep on top of?

I'm on anti depressants and have been for a while. Certainly have helped but I still have bad episodes when it's all I can do to get out of bed and function.

I'm in east London

And once it's better, allocate certain tasks for each day but spread through the house and things that need to be done every day.

E.g. monday - sweep/steam hardwood floors or Hoover
Everyday - washing up, wipe down kitchen surfaces.

If you have small jobs that spread throughout the house it feels cleaner and its a small manageable job. If you are having a tough day, prioritise what is do able from a whole job. E.g. clean the bath rather than the whole bathroom.

I’m going through a similar experience. I fill a bin bag or charity bag every day and after I’ve decluttered I will begin cleaning. The sense of relief watching my house transform is amazing. I’m in my second week of it and I think I’ve got another week of clearing before I can start cleaning. So 21 bags in total!!

The charity bag idea is great and thank you for the practical advice. You are all so kind

I wouldn’t worry about professional cleaners not knowing where to start - they will, because that’s how they earn their living. They shouldn’t judge either; you will not be the only person with similar issues. Don’t be so hard on yourself 💐

let a professional cleaning company in- it is their job.

if you had a physical illness you would do it. there is no difference and no shame.

the very best to you.

Hi op, I've been in the same boat as yourself, only in the past couple of weeks that I've said enough is enough. I decided to start on one room at a time, and then one area in said room at a time.
I decided to start on the kitchen. First day I did on top of the cupboards. Then the pantry, under the stairs etc etc. I was ruthless with throwing things out and even made some money by selling things on sphock.

Big hugs and don't give yourself a hard time.

I actually find that thinking about cleaning and tidying is too much for me! When I just make a start it feels great! I can feel paralysed by not knowing where to start, but if I actually just do anything it can feel good and I can do a few jobs and get stuff sorted and then move to the next job, if I stop then I completely stop! I’m better at keeping going.

you're keeping the kitchen clean, that's great.

so how about you and your teens set a timer, say 10 mins, and go round with some bin bags - take a room each?

if you can pay for help I would - don't worry, they know what they are doing. I know someone who used to do it but her arthritis meant she had to stop. it's fine, they are used to it and can be really helpful.

the unfuck your habitat app

chip away at it small bit at a time one thing at a time

pick one thing up and ask 'where does this go' then put it in the place. if it doesnt have a place, ask if you really need it. if you do, buy a place for it (cabinet, drawers etc)

when clutter and unpacking is done and everything in its place, then clean a bit at a time

If I was still in London I would definitely come round to help! Maybe some nearby MNers will see this, sending you strength

If you've teenage kids rope them in.

So you all do fifteen or thirty mins a day, the night before you plan what's to do th next day. Start with decluttering.

Have you got one friend you could ask to help you make a start. Someone who won't judge but will help. Or get your teens to help. They live there too. I find I work better with someone else. It's easier and takes half the time.

Utter come and join us on the decluttering thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/housekeeping/3243987-Getting-rid-of-one-thing-a-day-decluttering-challenge-Part-3-Are-we-nearly-there-yet

Everyone is so friendly and the goal is just one thing a day. When you get some decluttering done you could get the cleaners in.

Hi from a fellow Londoner

Oops sorry there's a new shiny thread here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/housekeeping/3298777-Getting-rid-of-one-thing-a-day-decluttering-challenge-Part-4?watched=1