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Original poster

Friends have booked a fish restaurant I am going to hate...

178 replies

Embarrassed · 19/06/2018 22:44

Going out with good friends tomorrow evening to the theatre and for early dinner beforehand. DH organised the details with the other bloke who offered to book a restaurant as he works in town and knows more of them. Apparently he asked DH if I ate fish, to which DH says he replied, "yes some, but not shellfish" (which is true).

We've just been sent the meet up details with the restaurant address and I've looked it up and I can see from the menu that there is going to be NOTHING that I will feel comfortable eating there.
It's a specialist seafood restaurant which serves A LOT of shellfish and raw fish and fish presented 'whole'.

I have a weird relationship with fish and DH knows this. I don't like the soft slimy texture in my mouth; the idea of digging meat out of shells makes me shudder and if a fish is presented to me whole, eyes and all, it makes me feel physically sick.

If I do eat fish it's usually the firm steak type - tuna, salmon, swordfish, or something that's filleted and no longer looks like fish (yes, hypocritical, I know). (There's nothing like this on the menu)

I don't know what to do?

  • Be honest, tell them I don't like the restaurant and say we'll meet them later?
  • Offer to find somewhere else (the problem is that the other couple are 'foodies' and I can't imagine them liking anything I'll choose)
  • Eat beforehand and just go for a drink (and perhaps smoked salmon/bread, which I could probably manage) and try not to look at any of the plates?

I'm a bit miffed as I wonder if DH knew it was this type of restaurant but didn't tell me as he quite likes seafood, but of course we don't tend to go to seafood restaurants.

Even just looking at their Facebook page is making me feel like gagging right now Sad I don't want to waste money on something that is going to make me feel sick.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 19/06/2018 22:46

Just tell them! What's the point in going to a restaurant where you won't enjoy anything on the menu? Tell them you're going to be ill if you go there - it's up to them, then.

Candyflip · 19/06/2018 22:48

If they have smoked salmon do they do other small plates? Maybe have a couple of appetisers instead? Smoked fish pate? Or a pasta dish? Can we have a link to the menu? Or too outing? I am just feeling greedy now as seafood is my favourite.

Branleuse · 19/06/2018 22:49

tell them. I wouldn't go either

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notacooldad · 19/06/2018 22:49

I would ring one of them and talk to them about it and come to amicable solution.

Branleuse · 19/06/2018 22:50

I'd say are you all really set on this place because there is nothing there I would eat. I can always meet you guys a bit later if you are

INeedNewShoes · 19/06/2018 22:50

You could be stuck at work? So your DP still goes to the restaurant and you join them afterwards.

Trouble is, if you so much as utter that you regret missing out on the restaurant they'll probably try to take you there again in future!

If I was in your shoes I'd probably go but phone the restaurant late morning and say you can't eat shellfish. Would it be possible for them to prepare you a tuna or salmon steak? (Request a huge fish that there's no danger they'd put the entire fish on the plate!)

PlateOfBiscuits · 19/06/2018 22:50

Have many starters/sides instead of a main?

Also, can you link to the menu?

Original poster
Embarrassed · 19/06/2018 22:51

But they think DH agreed to it! At least that's what I think they'll assume. Also I don't know if we'll be able to find somewhere else at such short notice.

I think part of me feels uncomfortable as I feel as if I've been 'tricked' into this. We've eaten at each others houses before and they know I have quite simple tastes and don't eat shellfish. It's almost as if they are deliberately trying to push me out of my comfort zone Hmm?

OP posts:
PlateOfBiscuits · 19/06/2018 22:51

Do they have specials? Ring and ask what they’ll be - there might be something you could have from there (if so, reserve it).

RiddleyW · 19/06/2018 22:52

They will probably have a vegetarian option.

PestymcPestFace · 19/06/2018 22:53

Most restaurants have a veggie option. Is that a possibility?

0hCrepe · 19/06/2018 22:53

Don’t restaurants fillet for you if you ask? They’ll serve it as a whole fish but then fillet it at the table. Maybe ring and check!

Original poster
Embarrassed · 19/06/2018 22:54

PlateofBiscuits - it's all specials - trendily written up on mirrors on the wall Hmm. Seriously, it's all rather poncey Grin - the sort of place where you're not taking it seriously unless you're eyeballing the lobster in front of you!

OP posts:
MyKingdomForBrie · 19/06/2018 22:55

Just ring them and see if there’s anything they can offfer. I would go because I wouldn’t want to hold DH back from something he’ll really enjoy and it’s only one meal. I’m a bit soppy about mine though.

Original poster
Embarrassed · 19/06/2018 22:55

0hCrepe - yes, they probably will, but there are still EYES and a TAIL and it still looks like a FISH

OP posts:
BakedBeans47 · 19/06/2018 22:56

I’m really surprised there’s nothing else. My OH works in a fish restaurant but they also have chicken, steak, veggie options. I’d give the restaurant a call and see what they can do for you.

TroubledLichen · 19/06/2018 22:57

It’s perfectly reasonable to ask for somewhere else if fish isn’t your thing. But if you don’t feel comfortable with that then could you do two starters? Or a starter and a side? If it’s a decent restaurant you should also be able to ask them to serve the fish filleted instead of whole.

INeedNewShoes · 19/06/2018 22:57

If you ask them to bring the plate to you already filleted that normally means they leave the head and tail in the kitchen.

shakeyourcaboose · 19/06/2018 22:58

Is your DH a big seafood fan? I do feel for him a bit if he is and he never gets to go out and eat this type of food! Defo ask about the veggie option!

TroubledLichen · 19/06/2018 22:58

And I’d be very surprised if they didn’t have a veggie menu, it might just be a separate on request thing.

DrWhy · 19/06/2018 23:00

If you know your DH would enjoy it and doesn’t often get the opportunity to go then invent a reason you can’t join them for the meal - working late, appointment you’d forgotten etc. Have dinner at home, let him enjoy his and then meet them afterwards. If people express regret that you missed out then say that actually your were too disappointed as it wasn’t really your kind of place anyway and have some suggestions up your sleeve of other possible restaurants you ‘have always wanted to try’ if they suggest a repeat.
I really wouldn’t start trying to rearrange at short notice or telling people it would make you feel sick, especially as they did check and your DH effectively OK’d it on your behalf. He could easily have said ‘she eats some fish but she’s not very keen, she’s probably prefer something else’ and they wouldn’t have booked it.

acornsandnuts · 19/06/2018 23:00

They will fillet for you.

I’ve never been refused when I ask.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 19/06/2018 23:01

They'll cater for vegetarians. Or possibly do surf and turf, so you can have steak if you want. Get a grip, seriously.

Original poster
Embarrassed · 19/06/2018 23:01

Hmm... a few sides might work I guess. There really is nothing like chicken etc and I can't see any veggie options (but then they don't have the full menu online)

OP posts:
SwedishEdith · 19/06/2018 23:01

Do you eat together fairly regularly? If so, then yes, maybe they are trying to eat somewhere they'd like.

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