Friends have booked a fish restaurant I am going to hate...

[Embarrassed]

Going out with good friends tomorrow evening to the theatre and for early dinner beforehand. DH organised the details with the other bloke who offered to book a restaurant as he works in town and knows more of them. Apparently he asked DH if I ate fish, to which DH says he replied, "yes some, but not shellfish" (which is true).

We've just been sent the meet up details with the restaurant address and I've looked it up and I can see from the menu that there is going to be NOTHING that I will feel comfortable eating there.
It's a specialist seafood restaurant which serves A LOT of shellfish and raw fish and fish presented 'whole'.

I have a weird relationship with fish and DH knows this. I don't like the soft slimy texture in my mouth; the idea of digging meat out of shells makes me shudder and if a fish is presented to me whole, eyes and all, it makes me feel physically sick.

If I do eat fish it's usually the firm steak type - tuna, salmon, swordfish, or something that's filleted and no longer looks like fish (yes, hypocritical, I know). (There's nothing like this on the menu)

I don't know what to do?

• Be honest, tell them I don't like the restaurant and say we'll meet them later?
• Offer to find somewhere else (the problem is that the other couple are 'foodies' and I can't imagine them liking anything I'll choose)
• Eat beforehand and just go for a drink (and perhaps smoked salmon/bread, which I could probably manage) and try not to look at any of the plates?

I'm a bit miffed as I wonder if DH knew it was this type of restaurant but didn't tell me as he quite likes seafood, but of course we don't tend to go to seafood restaurants.

Even just looking at their Facebook page is making me feel like gagging right now I don't want to waste money on something that is going to make me feel sick.

I'll happily go in your plaice.

I cod see if I'm busy?

If net I'll go

I'll go, sounds like a whale of a time!

'How could her DH not know this, expat? About the possible physical illness?'

Well, I guess he might have assumed there would be other stuff on the menu.

Well, everyone else is assuming the same thing. I'd be utterly amazed if there wasn't.

I'm not kidding about the pizza restaurant! Seriously. It was all white napery and plinky plink music. Literally no normal pizza topping on the menu. It was things like ginger smoked anchovy, pickled artichoke, lambs livers etc.

You couldn't ask for substitutions because a) plinky plink and b) they didn't have anything like ham or mushrooms anyway.

I've never felt so relieved as when we finally said eh guys, shall we go somewhere else?

I mean they didn't even have garlic bread.

OP unless the table is in the middle of Billingsgate Market I think you’re being a bit OTT on the “making you physically sick” front. Even in a non fish restaurant your companions and other diners could all be eating stuff you have an aversion to, are you physically sick then to?

Hope the restaurant can sort something for you. I very much doubt that you’ll be the only non fish eater they’ve had through their doors.

Maybe your DH has been craving to go to a place like this but has not done so because of your childish reactions.

Maybe her DH should go alone it with other friends instead of childishly needing OP to hold his hand

He could try something new like eating in his own, it's part of growing up - he may like it!

Catching up here, so it is the OP`s birthday meal. Well OP just be honest and say this will make me boak. I would not expect you to go along with this...

I mean they didn't even have garlic bread

My friend cannot even sit next to a person eating fish/shellfish. I think you should say no.

This is me! All my friends are aware of this & even though my best friend loves seafood she wouldn't dream of ordering it when we're eating together.

Personally I'd refuse to go irrespective of what else may be on the menu because the sight/smell of fish would make me physically sick & I just wouldn't be able to relax & enjoy my meal.

I am aware that this might sound wanky, but aren't anchovies and artichoke hearts quite normal things to have on a pizza? Lambs liver not so much, obviously.......

Personally I'd refuse to go irrespective of what else may be on the menu because the sight/smell of fish would make me physically sick & I just wouldn't be able to relax & enjoy my meal.

This isn’t the OP though. She does eat some fish. She just has an aversion to certain things. And presumably not to the extent of boaking/throwing up or else her DH would surely just have told the friends she didn’t like fish?

I think this reaction to seafood is more common than people realise actually. My SIL has it - she has to leave rather than sit next to someone tugging and pulling at shellfish. She's by no means a fussy eater and will eat many things I won't (liver, kidneys, guinea pig ) but she can't bear to see and hear shellfish being eaten.

I think it's a condition called seafood misophonia.

I think I’d like the pizza place too

Yeah I think you need to get a grip.

Eat before you go and order smoked salmon bread or what ever.

It’s a night out with your friends ffs!

I'd have walked out of that pizza place as well. No garlic bread? No me.

But if it's a JOINT birthday meal then it's a bit dickish to request somewhere else surely?

It’s a night out with your friends ffs!hmm
So surely her frie.ds. would want her to be happy and comfortable.

But if it's a JOINT birthday meal then it's a bit dickish to request somewhere else surely?
Because joint means that only one of the two matter??

Morris that pizza place sounds amazing, artichokes are my favourite food in the world

To pp who commented on me saying "be the bigger & better person" I think they misunderstood the context of how I meant it. It was more about trying to make the best of the situation.
I think in light of us now all being told it is a joint birthday celebration for Op then that does make a difference. I would be if someone booked one of those argentinian meat-on-stick type places for my birthday. If it was a joint meal with someone else though & last min to change I would probably still go though, as long as there was a decent option for me.
Op have you looked at reviews of the place on tripadvisor? I can guarantee that at least one review will comment on how well the place catered to the non-fish eater of the group.

Sleeping but if everyone else wants the fish restaurant then the OP insisting they change would also imply only one of the two (OP) matters?

They can't be very close friends if they don't know how the OP feels about fish. And I think I would be very hurt if my dp dumped me in it like this. I would expect mine to humour my foibles, especially on my birthday.

Op appears to be married to one of them, Bertrand. You'd imagine he'd be up to speed as to "how op feels about fish".

I love artichokes, on pizza, too, but that place sounds rank.