Friends have booked a fish restaurant I am going to hate...

[Embarrassed]

Going out with good friends tomorrow evening to the theatre and for early dinner beforehand. DH organised the details with the other bloke who offered to book a restaurant as he works in town and knows more of them. Apparently he asked DH if I ate fish, to which DH says he replied, "yes some, but not shellfish" (which is true).

We've just been sent the meet up details with the restaurant address and I've looked it up and I can see from the menu that there is going to be NOTHING that I will feel comfortable eating there.
It's a specialist seafood restaurant which serves A LOT of shellfish and raw fish and fish presented 'whole'.

I have a weird relationship with fish and DH knows this. I don't like the soft slimy texture in my mouth; the idea of digging meat out of shells makes me shudder and if a fish is presented to me whole, eyes and all, it makes me feel physically sick.

If I do eat fish it's usually the firm steak type - tuna, salmon, swordfish, or something that's filleted and no longer looks like fish (yes, hypocritical, I know). (There's nothing like this on the menu)

I don't know what to do?

• Be honest, tell them I don't like the restaurant and say we'll meet them later?
• Offer to find somewhere else (the problem is that the other couple are 'foodies' and I can't imagine them liking anything I'll choose)
• Eat beforehand and just go for a drink (and perhaps smoked salmon/bread, which I could probably manage) and try not to look at any of the plates?

I'm a bit miffed as I wonder if DH knew it was this type of restaurant but didn't tell me as he quite likes seafood, but of course we don't tend to go to seafood restaurants.

Even just looking at their Facebook page is making me feel like gagging right now I don't want to waste money on something that is going to make me feel sick.

Bluescreen she has to a certain extent, and theres nothing wrong with that. I know meat eaters who cannot bear the smell of fish.

And Sleeping I get your point too. I would never force a friend somewhere they hated!

I recall meeting a muslim friend for lunch.. me a veggie, her a muslim, we settled on a Chinese that suited both of us

In this scenario though, it's already booked so a little late to change. I re-iterate speaking to the staff & making the best of it

Sorry ive had a few beers, and it is a subject v relevant to me, hence my continuing rambling

So, DH likes seafood but never gets to go to a seafood restaurant because you don't like it? In that case, suck it up. It's one night and they're bound to have a veggie option/salad. It's not the end of the world if you have one night where you don't really like the food.

DH likes seafood but never gets to go to a seafood restaurant because you don't like it? In that case, suck it up

I agree op should call and see what's on the mitten our talk to friends if they go there often. However the idea that op should have to be miserable because poor hard done to dh wants something with eyes and a shell is ridiculous. They should go somewhere they're both happy , not pull the "well it's your turn to be miserable"

She wont know if she hates it though unless she gives it a try. If she hates it, then fair enough she should never have to go again, but as someone who the vast majority of the population consider have a limited diet even though I know I dont then honestly just give it one go and take it from there.

Has not have!!

So knows she hates good with eyes, crunchy shells, ripping their heads off etc.

I do think she should call and see whats suitable but its this ridiculous notion that its ok for her to be really uncomfortable and inhappy as long as pooR DH gets to go to a fish restaurant!

I have a severe fish allergy and have eaten at seafood places many times (dh fav). They will have veggie options.

Just be the bigger and better person
For allowing others to eat what they want? In the name of Jesus... stop encouraging her to imagine she’s going through a trial by fire just by setting foot in a restaurant that’s not of her choosing.
Nobody’s going to hold her nose and shovel fish down her gullet, she can also eat what she wants??
If you really want to be the bigger person, op, I suggest you wash your hair that night and let them enjoy their night without you having conniptions at the table at the mere sight of someone else’s food.
You do seem rather attention seeking...

Well, this escalated overnight

Just to address a few misconceptions and accusations...

I'm not a 'fussy eater' with 'simple tastes' and I've never actually set foot in a Wetherspoons. We go to lots of nice restaurants, cheap and expensive, and DH often gets to eat seafood at them, but they tend not to be exclusively seafood restaurants as he knows this limits my choice and the food presentation often makes me uncomfortable.
So that's why I found the restaurant choice for tonight strange. It's not like it's a big group, just the four of us, so it seems a shame to alienate one quarter of the group?

I think another poster hit it on the head really, I think I'm a bit annoyed that DH didn't speak up when he was first asked. If he'd just said "oh, Embarrassed really isn't that keen on seafood can we go somewhere a bit more varied" then it would all have been fine. As it is I didn't see where we were going until last night.

Me turning up later really isn't an option as DH and I are meant to be getting the train together.

I will call the restaurant later to see what I can get, however I'm just sad that an evening I was looking forward to is now going to begin with an hour or so of having to endure an environment that makes me really uncomfortable and possibly physically sick.

I'd still bow out if it's going to make you possibly physically sick. It's unfair on the others, who may not have known you have issues with seafood.

I think Op travelling in with Dp then taking herself off to eat alone may also make everyone feel awkward.

If its going to make you ill op you need to talk to your friends

'I think Op travelling in with Dp then taking herself off to eat alone may also make everyone feel awkward.'

They could just lie. He shows up on his own and says she's coming later to meet them.

So it's better to lie to people who are meant to care about you, sneak off gor secret food, perpetuate a lie about what you've been doing for 2 hours and then potentially have them say oh gosh, the whole fish was amazing, we'll rebook here for your birthday!! and the lie just continue??

In fairness OP you described yourself as having "simple tastes" earlier in the thread.

I wouldn't try and get them to change the restaurant, I'd just suck it up and find something I could eat. Call ahead if you need to request something. It won't be as bad as you think I think you're working yourself up into a bit of a tizz about it. You won't be physically sick.

You said yourself you had simple tastes...

Tbf I once walked out of a pizza restaurant in Barcelona because there was nothing on the menu any of us could eat.

All four of us were pizza lovers.

'begin with an hour or so of having to endure an environment that makes me really uncomfortable and possibly physically sick.'

Come on Op that's a bit OTT

I can't stand sea food or even most fish but never been to a seafood restaurant where there is nothing I could eat. Most have at least a couple of veg/meat dishes.

Your Dh probably fancied it as doesn't get to go much

Probably his idea

You sound a bit of a princess yourself, SleepingStandingUp...
Gasping at the indignity of op having to “adult” through a meal in a restaurant that she’s not actually forced to eat.

I have anaphalaxis to shellfish and as part of the allergy, the smell of cooking crustacea makes me feel unwell. I've still managed to survive trips to 'crab shacks' and seafood buffets because DH adores shellfish and misses out far too often because of me.

Ask the restaurant what they can do for you. Once I had a v. fancy mushroom dish made just for me, because the 5-star hotel buffet had no à la carte menu over Christmas. The chef personally came to ask about my allergy and my tastes.

You are lucky because cross-contamination isn't an issue for you. I'm sure they can rustle up something to eat.

"an hour or so of having to endure an environment that makes me really uncomfortable and possibly physically sick." .

Don't go. Let the grown-ups enjoy what sounds like a fabulous meal.

I know, chateau. I can't be the only one desperate to know which restaurant it is.

TBF, the OP said herself that she had simple tastes. She also denies that she is fussy, but surely not being able to find anything on a restaurant menu, even if it only sells one style of food, is the very definition of fussy?

Most people would find at least a couple of choices that they would enjoy.

Have you discussed this with your husband? While I agree that you should just call the restaurant and I am sure they will reassure you in advance that they can cater for you, this is clearly a big issue for you yet your husband agreed to the place and it’s going to spoil your evening. He’s misrepresented your tastes to the group when asked. You say that even the environment “could make you physically sick”. What husband puts his wife in such an environment? Does he know how extreme your feelings are- if not, tell him- or does he just dismiss them, in which case you need to challenge him about this.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar no I just like my friends!
I said upthread she should cal the restaurant and see what they have she can eat. But in reality if OP is going to heave at the sight of a whole fish then ashes just going make it weird for everyone. Yes she can control wheat she says etc but nausea etc are harder to control.

So she whither needs to decide she will be fine as long as she has a tuna steak, or she needs to go and be honest shop that if she does leave they know why or she needs to be honest and give them the choice of ask going somewhere else or her meeting them after.

What I don't think grown adults need to do is lie about this stuff and personally, Princess Sleeping would rather we all ate somewhere we're happy then my friend be uncomfortable or lie so I can eat shellfish

does he just dismiss them
Well according to most on this thread he's be right to because adults aren't allowed to have strong negative reactions to food without a medical condition