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Original poster

Friends have booked a fish restaurant I am going to hate...

178 replies

Embarrassed · 19/06/2018 22:44

Going out with good friends tomorrow evening to the theatre and for early dinner beforehand. DH organised the details with the other bloke who offered to book a restaurant as he works in town and knows more of them. Apparently he asked DH if I ate fish, to which DH says he replied, "yes some, but not shellfish" (which is true).

We've just been sent the meet up details with the restaurant address and I've looked it up and I can see from the menu that there is going to be NOTHING that I will feel comfortable eating there.
It's a specialist seafood restaurant which serves A LOT of shellfish and raw fish and fish presented 'whole'.

I have a weird relationship with fish and DH knows this. I don't like the soft slimy texture in my mouth; the idea of digging meat out of shells makes me shudder and if a fish is presented to me whole, eyes and all, it makes me feel physically sick.

If I do eat fish it's usually the firm steak type - tuna, salmon, swordfish, or something that's filleted and no longer looks like fish (yes, hypocritical, I know). (There's nothing like this on the menu)

I don't know what to do?

  • Be honest, tell them I don't like the restaurant and say we'll meet them later?
  • Offer to find somewhere else (the problem is that the other couple are 'foodies' and I can't imagine them liking anything I'll choose)
  • Eat beforehand and just go for a drink (and perhaps smoked salmon/bread, which I could probably manage) and try not to look at any of the plates?

I'm a bit miffed as I wonder if DH knew it was this type of restaurant but didn't tell me as he quite likes seafood, but of course we don't tend to go to seafood restaurants.

Even just looking at their Facebook page is making me feel like gagging right now Sad I don't want to waste money on something that is going to make me feel sick.

OP posts:
Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 20/06/2018 10:55

But her dh is one of the diners, Sleeping. I’d assume (but could be wrong) that he knows fine well op is in no danger of fainting dead away or throwing up on the table, she’d just rather go somewhere else.

Original poster
Embarrassed · 20/06/2018 11:05

Sorry, the 'simple tastes' reference was only with regard to seafood , but that came across wrong.

Anyway, SleepingStandingUp's comment at 09:51:06 has made me realise something that I didn't make clear in my OP, but might explain why I'm feeling a bit miffed about this restaurant choice - the reason we originally decided to go out for dinner/theatre was as a joint birthday treat for the other woman and me, as we both have birthdays this month! That's why the DH's were left to sort it out between them and why I'm a bit miffed that DH has agreed (accidentally or deliberately) to a restaurant which he knows I won't enjoy.
That's also why I can't really say I'm not going/I'll meet them later - great birthday treat for me Hmm.

If it was just some random night out then of course I'd just "suck it up" as some posters have helpfully suggested Hmm but as it is, it turns out the evening may end up being memorable for the wrong reasons.

I'm going to call the restaurant later.

OP posts:
Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 20/06/2018 11:10

Nice drip feed about the night out actually being your birthday celebration Grin
So now you’re fully vindicated in making it all about you. Of course.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General food
JessieMcJessie · 20/06/2018 11:12

“accidentally or deliberately”

You still don’t say whether he knows the full extent of your aversion, or whether you have tried to find out if what he did was accidental or deliberate.

You don’t just have a problem with fish and seafood, you have a problem with your husband...

SleepingStandingUp · 20/06/2018 11:12

But even if its just that she doesn't fancy it, I can't v believe how many people would want their friends to lie rather than making a decision they can all be happy with

BackToTheFuschia7 · 20/06/2018 11:14

Call the restaurant later but if you were my friend I’d want you to speak up and would want to change to somewhere you’d enjoy too. They can always go to the seafood place as a couple another time.

JessieMcJessie · 20/06/2018 11:17

They asked your DH if you’d like it. That obviously means that they were happy to go somewhere else if he’d said no.

SleepingStandingUp · 20/06/2018 11:18

They can always go to the seafood place as a couple another time and take your DH

LighthouseSouth · 20/06/2018 11:19

why don't you just say that you need to go somewhere else? I get that it's incredibly annoying that he was a dolt and agreed somewhere you wouldn't like, but you or he need to change it now.

actually really he should do it, on reflection....

GahWhatever · 20/06/2018 11:25

With the update: contact friend and tell him that although you do sometimes eat fish you are a bit funny about it and would rather not go to a seafood restaurant for your Birthday meal. Apologise that your DH wasn't clear and offer to ring round if he won't have time to do it today.
It's a Wednesday so he should be able to find something else easily.

massi71 · 20/06/2018 11:30

Maybe your DH has been craving to go to a place like this but has not done so because of your childish reactions.

If you don't have an actual allergy then you are being childish. Try something new, it's part of growing up - You may like it!

Davespecifico · 20/06/2018 11:38

I say don’t rock the boat unnecessarily. Ring the restaurant and find out what they do or can do for you.
It’s not ideal, thoughtless if your dh, but liveable with.

ReanimatedSGB · 20/06/2018 11:41

Anyone who is this much of a whinyarse about one topic is usually the same about other things. OP probably doesn't like certain types of films, or music, and won't sit facing backwards on a train because it gives her the vapours. It's all a matter of having to be constantly indulged and the focus of everyone's thoughts - sometimes the result of being the only child of older parents, I suppose, or perhaps having an XP who thought that this sort of princessy pouting was cute.
Most people find it exasperating.

turnaroundbrighteyes · 20/06/2018 11:52

Seriously, if you like fish, but not it looking at you just ask them to take the head and tail off before they bring it out. It's what I always do and never had a problem. Usually they offer to fully fillet too if I'd prefer.

myrtleWilson · 20/06/2018 11:54

But if you go to other nice restaurants and DH (and presumably other diners) choose fish/shellfish there how do you cope for that evening if the sight of fish on others plates induces feelings of physical illness?

MiddleClassProblem · 20/06/2018 11:55

To me it reads as DH got a message asking if you like fish and he said some fish but not seafood. The other bloke then went ahead and booked the fish place without DH knowing and then announced it not knowing just how much shellfish really affects you.

To me it just sounds like lack of communication.

I have standard things that make me feel sick and I can’t eat around. It’s your birthday celebration. Speak up! If they think you’re being a tit, meh. At least you won’t have to have a crap evening. They’ll get over it. Some people don’t understand it but that’s on them and it’s not like you’re being rude

MiddleClassProblem · 20/06/2018 11:57

myrtleWilson I think it might be different avoiding one dish to being in an environment of it and potentially it being all around? I’m a bit like this with things that make me feel this way. One thing I can distract myself and look elsewhere but I couldn’t do it if it’s everywhere.

gryffen · 20/06/2018 12:05

Just tell friends that 'sorry DH didn't fully tell you I'm not comfy with that restaurant so I'll meet you later or is a change possible?'

If so, change and hubby can get fish and chips later or if not then go have a massive glass of wine and meet up.

BertrandRussell · 20/06/2018 12:05

“Tbf I once walked out of a pizza restaurant in Barcelona because there was nothing on the menu any of us could eat.

All four of us were pizza lovers.”

Never mind the fish- I want to know about this!

ShesABelter · 20/06/2018 12:08

Most fish restaurants do usually in my experience have a couple of non fish dishes otherwise they could lose business by losing a group of people because theres nothing for one vegetarian of the group etc.

SneakyGremlins · 20/06/2018 12:14

How can there be nothing to eat at a pizza restaurant Confused

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 20/06/2018 12:16

Maybe they went in expecting fish?

expatinscotland · 20/06/2018 12:19

All this 'Ask the restaurant to make you something else' will not work because she says being around other people eating the seafood will possibly make her physically sick. So come clean and tell your friends.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 20/06/2018 12:24

How could her DH not know this, expat? About the possible physical illness?

MarthasGinYard · 20/06/2018 12:24

Isn't there a Spoons you can pop in....

No fish forks in there.

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