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Original poster

Please give me advice. (sensitive subject)

490 replies

GlowWorm123 · 31/01/2017 11:02

I have recently found out I am pregnant, unplanned but DP knew we wasn't taking any contraception and happily had sex with me daily. I'd have this baby but he is desperate not too. Realistically, the best thing to do is to terminate but the circumstances we are facing aren't reasons to terminate in my opinion. I am really sorry if this offends anyone, i'm just desperate for advice and absolutely terrified.

If you've read my thread in Pregnancy Choices, you'll have read I had an awful doctors appointment and have been struggling to get advice anywhere. It still hasn't sunk in properly, I don't feel ready to be making such huge decisions that can potentially leave me with everlasting guilt.

DP has now booked me in for an abortion consultation on my behalf (I've never asked him too). He will be pretty much escorting me to my appointments, which I feel obliged to say that I want an abortion.

Is this even allowed? How can another person, make GP/Clinic appointments on behalf of another? What do I do Sad

OP posts:
OutandIn · 03/02/2017 15:53

OP keep safe- you may be using your work email but this thread is on your phone. You might be better getting this thread deleted and update once you are away.

BitchPeas · 03/02/2017 16:00

When you leave on the 8th could you jam the lock with something so he won't be able to get in before the locksmith comes?

Footle · 03/02/2017 16:24

Why are you writing all these details here? You're making yourself vulnerable if he's likely to go through your phone. Good luck, but get this deleted. You can update MN once you're out of here.

HelpMeHelpDS · 03/02/2017 16:32

ENinthePWert could be a mistake to tag the OP as it will send your message and link to this thread to the OP's inbox at home. Apparently he has access to home emails but not work ones and it could place her in a tricky spot. OP, remember you can call the police anytime you need to. Hope you're safe and ok until you get out in a few days.

averylongtimeago · 03/02/2017 16:39

Your friend sounds a star, so glad your plans are in place.
BUT there is a lot of identifying information in this thread, it would be better to have it deleated, and if you would like to update/have a chat name change and start a new thread.
Keep safe

iknowimcoming · 03/02/2017 16:42

Agree - most important thing now is to stay safe until you're free, if you can, change all of your passwords and phone lock code etc you can say you've been hacked via Facebook or whatever if he asks why. Keep strong and keep safe glowworm Flowers

Cupoftchaiagain · 03/02/2017 16:43

Be really careful of your internet security op, u do not want him to findthis thread Good lucluck x

Original poster
GlowWorm123 · 03/02/2017 16:49

I'm a regular on here I've name changed and usually lurking on the style & beauty pages. No one except my best friend and DP know my situation so it won't be outing... he does have access to my phone but since this thread was started I've deleted the app when I'm home. I've put a few details but I don't feel people will know it's me in real life! Smile

I quickly logged on via the mobile website last night and have been at work replying to everyone's messages.

You've all been amazing!

OP posts:
OSETmum · 03/02/2017 17:06

Wow GlowWorm your posts have made me cry too. You should be so proud of yourself, you're an incredibly strong person. It was clear right from the start of your posts that you want your baby and I'm so pleased that you've been strong enough to defy your abuser and make your own decision. I'll be keeping everything crossed for you and hope you'll keep us updated.

Shakey15000 · 03/02/2017 17:22

Good luck Glow, you've done amazing.

Deranger01 · 03/02/2017 17:32

I'm so glad to hear this, you've done fantastically. He's beyond words, sick, twisted loser

GlitteryFluff · 03/02/2017 17:44

You are amazing! You can do this!

ENinthePWert · 03/02/2017 18:36

Oh no I didn't think [sorry] will ask to withdraw that post tag even though the OP feels it should be OK.
Apologies. Saety above everything.

ExpatTrailingSpouse · 03/02/2017 18:50

just wanted to say please be safe. and maybe consider telling your mum? is there any way she could come and fly with you? so you're not on your own after your friend leaves?

MiscellaneousAssortment · 03/02/2017 18:50

Well done Glow, you're moving really fast which is precisely what you need to do in this kind of situation. I'm sorry you're leaving so abruptly but I'm sure you can come back if you want to, and it's FAR better than letting this awful excuse for the human being have the power to keep you and your child shackled to him

Flowers

Good luck and I hope he doesn't feel the shift in power before you've slipped away like mist...

twattymctwatterson · 03/02/2017 18:51

Op, aside from whether you want this baby or not, you must see that this is not normal loving behaviour in a relationship? Trying to teach you a lesson?! He's abusive. You don't sound like you're seeing that.

RaisinsAndApple · 03/02/2017 19:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jazzandh · 03/02/2017 19:48

It's your parents house. it's your baby. You have independent plans which due to his behaviour he has no further place in.

You are not dependent on him for anything....you know you are going home to your parents.......

You have no further need to placate him or anything else really. He can get lost.

Get your parents over if that will help...........(I would for moral support)

He doesn't need to be with you again.

twattymctwatterson · 03/02/2017 19:49

Whoops sorry op half the thread was missing on my app. Well done you've been so brave Flowers

HopefulHamster · 03/02/2017 20:04

Good luck OP, stay safe!

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 03/02/2017 20:11

What an incredibly brave young woman you are, you'll be a fabulous Mummy.
All the very best, take good care Sweet. 🌺

lougle · 03/02/2017 20:28

What brilliant news. 5 days seems like a very long time though. Do you have a plan if you feel that you're at risk of danger? He doesn't sound good.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 03/02/2017 21:51

Glow, that's brilliant. Well done, so very proud of you for achieving all that, and what a fab best friend you have. Really so glad that you confided in her - that in itself is a BIG step to have taken, because it makes it all real.

I'm a bit scared for you as well, tbh - can you not manufacture a work trip away so he can't stay over? Or a sudden need to visit a friend for the weekend?

You're going to be the best mum, you know - you're already fighting for your baby. Just get the sperm donor out of your life ASAP. xx

TheBuggerlugs · 03/02/2017 21:58

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns.

ohfourfoxache · 04/02/2017 09:16

How are you doing Glow? Really hope you're ok - did he come over again last night?