Emmy let you finish...50 shades of grey suede shoes on the red carpet? It's Tayto#5

[KimmySchmidtsSmile]

Tayto thread FIVE.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleb_twaddle/2688420-one-tayto-two-tayto-three-tayto-FOUR-Taylor-Swift-the-unstoppable-pap-machine?pg=40&order=

^previous thread

First rule of Tayto Squad: call Tom Tim.
Second rule of Tayto Squad: don't do talk about Tim.
Or Tay. Or Timotay. Or Lulu. Or Larry. Or SoS shenanigans.
Emmys Sept 18th 12 days to go. Prime PR opps pre Emmys 14th Sept.
Watch this Blank Space.

Billie would eat Tim alive.
^^yy exactly this!

I'd love to hear Bette's break-up song

Lulu= Luke Windsor, tim and emma watson's pr that the batshit geniuses of tumblr have decided tim is secretly married to due to some ace blurry videos of bracelets and men's hands

Tim and Emma Watson could be 'Hiddleson' so he wouldn't even really have to change his name

Or Tomma!

I think I love Bette Midler. I hope she writes a shit hot break up song about Tayto and we can watch TayTay's resting smug face change to resting bitch face.

I love Billie Piper - I hate the way the Mail castigate her for going out and having a drink or 17 because she's a mother.

Hidddleper? Tombill? I can't think of a suitably comedic portmanteau.

But as long as Laurence Fox is pissed off, it's fine by me. I don't like him, he's pretentious and a twat and that's never a good combination.

Oh I can't stand Billie Piper and that ridiculously posh voice she has these days! She didn't talk like that when she was singing 'Cos We Want To' or whatever it was called. Always thought she and that sneering Fox person were well suited.

www.telegraph.co.uk/music/artists/when-will-we-finally-learn-to-leave-noted-hermit-taylor-swift-al/

Good on Taylor for sticking to her convictions and seeking a new life away from the cameras.

I think she is fairly posh 9 as in middle class posh, rather than Tom Hiddlestone posh, but put the street talk on for credibility. She's stage school through and through

Ha ha at that telegraph article! It comes to something when the Torygraph is taking the piss out of you! Her relationships seem to have all lasted about 2-3 months. Either they end soon after they become public, or she just can't help telling the whole world when shes in a relationship from the first date onwards. I didn't tell anyone about my relationships until I at least knew they were vaguely serious. maybe Im very old

I keep imagining the end of contract review going all Willy Wonka.

I don't mean Real Love 4eva like Tim had with TayTay, but I think a few early morning pap shots of Tim leaving Billie's looking smug and dishevelled would upset Fox a nice amount.

Or Tim and Billie slurring drunk and dishevilled out of every bar in Soho before having a massive row in the street about his inability to commit or how his willy is just far too big . That should restore his reputation.

I'm vaguely intrigued by Billie Piper. I even read her autobiography but I don't think Marj or Diana would approve. A quick flick through Billie's life story and relationship history and MaTim would have Tim locked up in his childhood bedroom faster than you can say 'where's that nice, wholesome, publicity-hating American gal when you need her?'

Tom's mum will be all excited because Princess Beatrice has split up with her boyfriend.

Guinea: 'she's incredibly talented on stage. You can't do that if you're a drunk''.
You probably can, just not long term. I can think of one current actor who, again, the DM seems to have it in for. Hugely talented but cannot hold her drink. Then there are the great hell raisers of yesteryear but, then again, they did not perform every night on stage.

Bette Midler: miss Taylor regrets... ;-)

Billie Piper remains on the laudible list (as does Russell Brand) for not taking half of Chris Evans's (and Katy Perry's) fortunes respectively. Both found the idea abhorrent.

Majory-Diana will have a nice girl lined up. Probably one from the WI who has her own florists and rides a bike with a basket.
Tea dresses and cardigans will figure highly in her wardrobe.
Lulu will stay in Tims London flat, just so its not lying empty natch.

The WI are going to be very excited about this, although they won't show it.

I really hope they have a member oblivious to all things Internet who innocently asks mamaTim how things are going with Tim and that lovely you American girl whilst the rest of the WI get bruises from elbowing each other

I think Lady Kitty Spencer may be another contender. Although TimKit is too similar to the already used but now defunct TomKat.

Was it Coco wondering about Michelle Keegan opting to bleach her hair rather than wig it? Apparently it was so she could look back and say remember when I went blonde as it's not something she'd just do. #MakingMemories #GoalAchieved

Was it her real hair? It looks awful, thought she'd got an awful wig. Kylie Kardashian's new blonde do looks awful too.

I like the thought of Tim and Billericay swaying about in Soho. Maybe they could go to Nottinghill Carnival and swig Jack Daniels a la Lily Allen

I want to see BillyTim staggering about pissed in central London. Perhaps singing Because We Want To.

Oops autocorrect there, obviously I mean Billie not Billericay

I thought Billericay was a fine way to describe Ms. Piper.

Hiddlericay has a certain ring to it.

Not BillyTim - Bim