Golden Wonder: I say Tayto , you say Tahto, when will she call the whole thing off?!

[KimmySchmidtsSmile]

Thread two

Damn! I want a chocolate doughnut!
These Tayto threads are bringing out the in me. I want a NewYork apartment with a private pool . . .a private jet . . .a mansion on a cliff with stairs to the beach if at all poss . . .and Ryan Reynolds to be my friend . . .and now a chocolate doughnut too!

NB I do not want an 'I love TS' vest even though I do like TS Eliot and Taylor Swift

He looks flabby even though I know he isn't. It's probably just being pale and fractionally bigger than the supermodels he is stood next to.

She probably has a ticklist -

• invite guests and send outfit requirements
• call paparazzi
• start frolicking
• do group shots
• get toto to give me a piggyback
• run up rocks
• eat food
• pose for selfies
• upload to snapchat & instagram

Optional: if anyone lets me down on any point, side-eye them and "throw shade" on social media post/the next awards show.

Ryan looks like he's saying 'wtf am I doing here?'

The non showbiz couple (or am I not recognising?) are the only ones that look genuine!!

Ryan looks quite awkward there, he's probably thinking "I'm too old for this shit".

I love the pics of them with Ryan and Blake I feel I'm on first name terms with them now although does anyone else think Ryan looks like he's sending 'save me!' vibes?

X-post boop

Oops x-post. I see most of us think Ryan wants to escape!

Isn't she just doing what most people her age do, live on Instagram etc. I imagine the vest is a bet he lost. I am a hopeless fool but I hope it's real and they are happy.

The third couple are a friend of Taylor's from childhood and her husband, in case anyone was wondering.

Ryan does look a bit 'not in the moment' maybe he was sent in on a rescue mission and realises he's failed. Alternatively he's hoping just sitting next to Tom's falling star isn't going to rub off.

Tom seems to have a very tight grip on his glass. Same can't be said for his career.

Agree Ryan looks like he needs some brain-bleach to cleanse the horror of the Par-Tay.

Toto is holding that glass so hard it looks like it's about to shatter.

The shoes are bad - again

Blake looks like she's posing for a magazine

Cara delevingne is shorter than I thought

If the bet was on whether he'll have any credibility left after he wore it then I think he definitely did loose.

Ryan is probably thinking that the excuse most of us use for not going to stupid parties, that we can't leave the kids/can't get a babysitter has failed and he's still doing this shit when he's looking 40 in the face and is very nearly a father of two

There are two people butt naked on my telly and I have no idea why because I'm too preoccupied by this thread

Ryan Reynolds looks like he's going to die of embarrassment.

Another day, another pair of crap shoes for ToTo.

And they're still not actually looking at each other, their eyes are closed. Is this to stop themselves laughing out loud ?

Definitely can't cope now.

The music business is all about gossip, relationships and beefs and you can even get away with domestic violence convictions and still keep on going. It's all good song-writing fodder.

I think when an Actor sort has a very over-exposed personal life, movie bosses get twitchy as it makes them less believable in the roles they take on. An on-set falling in lurve tale seems to be contracted the exception.
So I think if it is a genuine Real Crazy in Love relationship, To-To has risked a lot - cringe vest is right there in old Ben Affleck kissing JLo's arse territory.

I am still none the wiser as to what is going on and also fully aware it's none of my business but am totes addicted.

The more unflattering* pics of Tay-Tay look doctored to me? Weird shadows and lines. I've really gone to the Bad side.

*she still looks 1 billion times better than I ever had, even when I was a size 6 (20 years ago)

Frayed I don't think there could be any doubt that TayTay is a bit of a stunner with a gorgeous figure, her only fault would be that she sometimes does weird shit with her hair.

I think things will all go a bit quiet for a while as apparently he's off filming. Shall we run a sweepstake on what will happen next:

• TayTay turns up in Aus and we get a frame by frame account of their next romantic encounter

• ToTo forgets all about her in Aus and gets it on with a female member of the film crew

• ToTo forgets all about her in Aus and gets it on with a male member of the film crew

• LuLu decides to admit he was wrong in whatever argument they had and ToTo goes running back into his open arms

• TayTay finds herself some other guy who looks slightly buffer in a tank top

£1 in winner takes all. Although there are a few of us so we'll probably need some more options.

Vomtastic.

• There is going to be a big reveal, at a big music event. Her fellow muso frenemies will laugh and claim to be in on it. The public will groan and the Swifties will be divided- those that felt cheated will be savagely torn apart by the loyal ones. Twitter will have to shut down for a week and TayTay will have to leave social media forever. ToTo will embark on humbling charity work, and inch his way back on the telly in a series of documentaries. His friends will stand by their man and let him sleep on their sofas on a rota system. ToTo will sneak into Eddie's bedroom, clasp the Academy Award in his beer glass clenching grip and go Full Gollum.

I'm sure there's always a role in eastenders for toto

Sorry I went for the end game. I'm not sure when ToTo returns to Oz, has he any time to go via Wimbledon?

I missed out the bit when ToTo got passed over for playing Tom Hiddleston in the Biopic about his summer of lurve (working title atm). The part went to Douglas Booth as ToTo wasn't believable