Golden Wonder: I say Tayto , you say Tahto, when will she call the whole thing off?!

[KimmySchmidtsSmile]

Thread two

"Do you have any questions about the job?" "Just a couple"

at Frayed

Do you think LuLu is recruiting for a junior assistant beard for his clients?

nicenew if it makes you feel any better my 5 year old said today ' Normally fat people are quite comfy to sit on but you're not very comfy' so I might have to miss the party altogether! and never eat carbs again Douglas Booth! Now that would have been a slightly more believable fake relationship. Maybe it is Tom that's desperate for fame and she's just a willing facilitator.

Thanks GuineaPigs, it does soften the blow to know I'm not the only one being fat-shamed by my children ! It didn't work anyway as we then went to the Golden Arches of Sin for lunch.

I am still up for the party. I have been choosing my ensemble. Admittedly it's a bit 'circus tent at night' but I reckon the hat tips it into stylish and chic

So, word from the tinhat wing of my twitter feed this morning is that there will be 'surprise' pregnancy news from TayTay shortly and this will somehow link to the Louis Tomlinson custody case in some like-for-like swap.

I love a conspiracy theory but am totally failing to understand this one, unless Luigi is also the TayToTot's dad.

I would be really surprised if she's pregnant. I've sort of seen that theory, scratched my head and moved, but I've never paid any attention to 1D.

My Sources have indicated that Ryan Reynolds & Blake Lively are in Rhode Island. This would seem to increase the odds of ToTo making an appearance.

I think TayTay romances are intrinsically linked in the tinhat community to 1D due to the utter implausibility that was Haylor. Where are TayTo though - I have lost track of them and my twitter sources are hopeless.

Maybe TayTay forgot to send her jet for ToTo?

Ah yes Haylor, what was all that about? Album fodder? I generally stick my fingers in my ears at all mentions of Larry because life is just to short.

Yeah album fodder. I think Haylor doesn't need larry - either way it was seemingly totally staged and set up - public dates at disneyworld, uncomfortable public kisses, endless songs with 'coded' references ... Zzzzz zzzz zzzz

Maybe ToTo is getting a last minute fitting for his 4th July outfit. He will go from geeky English gentleman to something a bit more TayTay-inspired

I'm beginning to genuinely worry about ToTo.

Lord Lucan... Shergar....... ToTo?

Is it just me or does anybody else think that ToTo looks like Woody from Toy Story in Frayed's photo ?

God is that actually him?! I thought it was a generic fancy dress shot!

It is indeed ToTo himself (well himself playing Hank Williams in I Saw The Light)

My wild speculation based on zero proof is that ToTo will appear at Wimbledon with an alpha bromance for some polite chest-beating and fancy sunglasses wearing. Idris was co-host of the met gala so my 20p is on him.

Wimbledon tomorrow for the Andy Murray match to be more specific

I'm hoping for a ToTo centre court appearance as well. He needs to show he has a life outside of TayTay, especially if he wasn't invited to the 4 July party.

Lulu and he must have discussed all the negative coverage of the Suffolk/Rome showmance. If he's still hoping to be 007 he needs some credibility. Striding around SW19 in a boater and chinos will be preferable to being on TayTay's Instagram dressed in a stars and stripes onesie playing Uncle ToTo.

Do you think they're using ToTo as a smokescreen in the build-up to revealing the next Bond? Sam Mendes/Barbara broccoli had a meeting with ToTo at Soho House, back in April I think, which stoked the fires and I think led to the bookies not taking any more bets on him. But surely if they didn't want people to think it was ToTo, they wouldn't have met at Soho House where famous people go to be seen?? They might have been a bit more, ahem, discreet.

That's a tough one Trolley. Is it a smokescreen because they are definitely going to offer it to him, or because it's definitely not him ?

Now that Boris Johnson has ruled himself out of No.10 (for now) he's going to want another high profile post. Under Secretary of State for Cycle Lanes and Silly Hair isn't going to cut the mustard, dear boy. We know he could do his own stunts. Who can forget the sight of BoJo hanging from the zip wire with the harness stuck up his undercrackers !!

I don't like Bond films but I'd pay to see BoJo in one.

I think looking at the British public's choices on important things like X-Factor winners and naming boats, I wouldn't blame the Bond producer for avoiding the media-touted favourites. Although everyone loves a hero dog, so maybe they could offer it to one of the past Britain's Got Talent winners.

Ooh Boris and Pudsey the Dog! A winning-combo

Yes, with Susan Boyle as the next Bond girl !!!!

Well Pudsey's got Bond down
m.youtube.com/?gl=DE#/watch?v=v1mGylsjRvw
But not sure that Ashleigh could train Bojo. He'll just shit on everything then leave the mess behind for someone else to tidy up.
(Ooh, political )

He'll just shit on everything then leave the mess behind for someone else to tidy up.

I think M says the same thing to Bond in every movie! Is a new Bond announcement even likely in the near future? Maybe Lulu could play Moneypenny?
The more urgent question is, wherefore art thou ToTo?