Golden Wonder: I say Tayto , you say Tahto, when will she call the whole thing off?!

[KimmySchmidtsSmile]

Thread two

Ah you know what it's like, you're a bit drunk, a bit giddy, a supermodel tries to snog you....

We've all been there. Amirite?

Boop - I love that you don''t say their names out loud. Is that like not saying your wish when you blow your birthday candles out ? You've said he's not dated Taylor, that's a pretty small group then, so basically Cliff Richard or my dad ?

We would be such a great bunch to have at the 4th July party. Nobody would want to be there more than us. Trolley-To side-boobing with her B cup. Boop-To doing her charity work. Jinn-To in her pink girly TayTo tee. Coco-To doing her needlepoint. Frayed-To with her incredibly thin folding son. The list is endless. I'd be wearing nothing but a strategically placed fence panel and throwing my head back a la ToTo in Rome.

Imagine the photos of us. The Side Bar of Shame would explode !!

I have an awesome image of us all gatecrashing TayTay's party Ab Fab style, toting our Aldi wine coolers which will be empty by the time we get there because, you know it's quite a long flight.

Although I don't have an Aldi where I live so may have to source mine from Lidl, hope that means I can still be in the squad.

Oh god, we dont have Aldis either.
I can do Lidl or Asda.

Do you think Tay will send a private plane for us?
Im buying gray suede flip flops for the occasion .

I'm a little concerned she won't get in enough food

I don't name them because it reminds me how pathetic I am. And I don't read about their personal life but I'm now going to have to google whether or not he has dated Taylor swift. If he hasn't then it's your dad.

There are a few tumblr blogs dedicated to outing 'Kaylor' as they're known. They are basically written by people who live in an alternative universe of their own creation, and I think most of them are written by teenage girls who live in the arse end of nowhere in the US. They write timelines to fit their theories about why Taylor & Karlie are a couple, evidence that Karlie's boyfriend is clearly a beard and also in the closet (despite her having been with him since before she met Taylor) includes a video of him talking about a new business venture where he sounds 'gay'. They shout down anyone who challenges their theories with cries of 'you're so hetero-normative'.

It's absolutely fascinating.

Maybe we can get the private jet if we offer to bring our cameras and update our twitter and instagram account on the half hour with photos of Tayto gazing adoringly at each other.

If Taylor ever even so much as looks at Paul Rudd, shit will get real.

Just putting that out there.

Am I going to have to sign up to Facebook, Twitter and Instagram? Gah, I'm just not ready for this!!

You're so hetero-normative, Donatella.
And I don't actually live in the US.

I'm going to pretend I purposefully forgot to capitalise the To bit there as a reflection of the power dynamic in their relationship.

I'll tip my dad off that he might be about to have a stalker Boop ?

I don't think there'll be any food at the party. Everyone will be well below normal body weight so I think we'll have to take our own supplies. As our Aldi/Lidl/Asda wine coolers will be empty we can stuff them with cake and sausage rolls.

Those tumblr blogs sound terrifying !

Donatellalymanmoss I do love the crazy fans. No one's crazy fans are quite so impressively crazy as Benedict's though. I love that they think his wearing a blue shirt is a distress signal (or something like that). And I love that one of his fans was arrested for renting a house opposite his and spying on him through a telescope. He must have some wealthy crazy fans.........

I'll like to put it out there that if Bradley Cooper needs a new beard, I'm willing ready and able.

Tumbler is like a portal to another world.

Coco, he is Serial Killer Emu.
You can find a better beard-ee.

Did you see that little bid of him getting his groove thang on at Glasto!
Not as good as the one of Leonardo di Caprio dancing at Coachella.

Some of the fanz stuff is whole other level weird. I had no idea, I have been stumbling through Tumblr in a confused haze. As Tay-Tay sings, Haterz gonna Hate, Potatoez gonna Potate.

No, I want Bradley
Calvin is on the SBoS being captivated by a mystery brunette.

Reading tumblr is a bit like eavesdropping on a bunch of rowdy teenage girls at times.

Although there are a handful of blogs that are written by some quite funny and talented young women.

He'd smell the Tumblr desperation from you I'm afraid Coco. I'd have a good chance being Bradley's beard, because I don't like him.

Slowjinn re Kerry Katona, she did indeed. When I'm having a tough time with the kids I often think to myself 'What would Kerry Katona do?' and then do the exact opposite

That may be unfair, I don't really know anything about her or her children apart from what I read on the front of magazines when I'm in the queue at my local shop.

Really Zebra, I'm open to the idea that Taylor is fully into girls, sometimes I get the impression she might be, I just don't form an opinion on the matter unsubstantiated evidence such 'as you can tell she was thinking about Karlie when she say such and such a song'. Also if she is in the closet then that is her choice, if someone isn't comfortable with their own sexuality to be open about it then it isn't someone else's place to analyse random aspects of their life in order to out them.