The Anti Celebrity Bus is now boarding....

[PaintedDrivesAndPolishedGrass]

Form an orderly queue please with the celebrity/celebrities you cannot abide and lets ship them off to the far side of fuck. I've popped Lulu, Michael Ball and Chris Evans on already. Whose next?

Fuck!! I forgot to get Alan Carr a ticket.... Any chance? Please?!?!

Simon Powell

Is Keith Lemon on board? Don't leave without him!

Sorry Painted, I forgot Chris was otherwise engaged. Can we add a roof rack please as the bus is getting rather full? Even though I am a poor single mother, I will happily buy tickets for Charlotte Crosby and Alan Davis. Let's give him some nice juicy ears to chew on.

Olddear I made sure he was there early. He's strapped into a child's booster seat where the driver can see him.

Greg Wallace can serve everyone tea.

Dr Christian Jessen can be the nominated first aider.

Any room for Alan Davis, talentless twat.

If there's any space left on the bus please can I squeeze Helen Baxendale in? If not can she be run over as it leaves?

Goingtotown it's OK don't worry, I've bought Alan's ticket and he's going on the roof rack with Charlotte Crosby

Oh oh, the most irritatingly smug couple on the world Chris O'Dowd and Dawn O'Porter.

She should get a premium seat just for that stupid bloody O' alone.

Misty Is it her nostrils? Her nostrils annoy me.

Is there a cart or something strapped to the back of this bus because you've forgotten Steve Wright.

Don't worry Enid. I escorted Steve Wright on just before 6pm with his bus pass and all

I think we need a second bus at this rate! I'd like to add all the Kardashians and all the Osbournes, except the sensible one, Amy I think. As to the driver, does anyone remember Maureen from driving school? She can share the driving with Mr Wonder.

Please make room for Gaby Roslind and Sophie Rayworth thanks

How about a games of thrones style cart?

Ken Bruce please I believe he could supply the bus even

Enid I don't know what it is about her. I don't know about her nostrils as I've never watched her long enough to notice them.

I want Kylie Minogue on there. She's a short arse so won't take up much room. Shove her in the glove compartment if necessary.

We can dangle Kylie off the rear view mirror instead of furry dice.

Thank god Beachys I really should've thought of him first but think I'd banished him and his bloody radio show from my mind.

Is there room for Jeremy Clarkson?

Has Carol Vordamon been thrown on yet. Also Fizz and Sean out of Corrie.

Every 'panelist' there's ever been on Loose Women......