The Anti Celebrity Bus is now boarding....

[PaintedDrivesAndPolishedGrass]

Form an orderly queue please with the celebrity/celebrities you cannot abide and lets ship them off to the far side of fuck. I've popped Lulu, Michael Ball and Chris Evans on already. Whose next?

Dawn O'Fuck Off

I do like him in character, but in real life he is smug AF

How on earth could I forget my namesake!!?

Controversial, but he's got to get a space see what I did there on the bus.

Stop fucking smiling.

Stop the bus! Jude Law very definitely needs a space, and Ewan McGregor who'll be doing a range of terrible accents. And that Lily James too.

Chris Martin and his ex-missus. I don't care if they sit together or need separating but they can consciously get on the bus.

Clarkson. Lewis Hamilton. Ant n sodding Dec. Gemma whoever she is from Towie.

Stephanie Davis is just taking a piss in the hedge while taking a selfie and uploading it to Twitter so don't leave just yet.

Brian I love the IT Crowd but in rl he's a nob. O'Porter my arse.

I have a cunning plan! Lure Tony Robinson to the bus stop and kick him on to bus. He really annoyed me on Time Team with all that stupid running about.

If theres no space can we make sure we run over Susanna Reid and Piers Morgan please, they can go round and round on the wheels for the duration if need be

Here we go. Adrian Chiles gets a window seat so nobody has to listen to his muttering.

Smug tickets for:
Jamie Oliver and Jools
Kate Middleton
The One Show Welsh girl
Holly Willoughby and her best mate Fern
Jeremy Clarkson
BBC newsreaders and nicholas witchell can join them.

Gareth Malone needs to be on this bus.

Beatrice and Eugenie , that will reduce the pollution from air traffic ten fold.

Mylene Klass. She doesn't even need a seat, just strap her to the front grill like those old teddy bears on bin lorries. No doubt she will use it as another opportunity to showcase her latest bikini!

Katie hopkins

Thing is I think Katie Hopkins would see a place on the Anti-celebrity bus as a good thing.

Would it not be better to leave her alone at the bus station. Forever.

Mylene Klass. She doesn't even need a seat, just strap her to the front grill like those old teddy bears on bin lorries.

Oh I did a real, actual, laugh out loud at this

Myleene K will enjoy the wind in her hair from that vantage point. Just like her shit Littlewoods adverts.

I have visions of Myleen pouting away whilst getting flies up her nose...

I've fitted a compacting device to the bus (like they have on a bin lorry) the celebs are well and truly squished down the back now. Lots of room for plenty more😁

I read that as 'strap on bono' and no-one wants that.

Well, I wouldn't mind

Jim Carey needs a seat please!

Vernon Kay.

Vernon can operate the crusher along with the page three girl he was sexting!

Well Tess is already on, Vernon is on, let's get Rhian on.......and sit back eating our barley sugars and watch the show!!!!

What about the two "comedians" who are advertising Tesco at the moment? Room for them?

Maybe Owen Jones can give a few speeches to keep everyone entertained?

.....and then tear his ticket in half and stomp off.