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Original poster

if you caught your 9 year old son watching porn showing naked men on his iPod Touch!

101 replies

Blea72 · 08/11/2015 22:09

I feel sick as just caught my just 9 year old ds watching porn on his iPod touch, he had it hid under his pillow and begged that he delete something before I took it, I snatched it off him and he was hysterical and so upset, he said it just came up on the screen, I have checked his history and he's been looking at it for days, I have now set parental control and he is in bed, what the hell do I say to him tomorrow?

OP posts:
titchy · 08/11/2015 23:12

He googled naked men. Not Debbie does Dallas.

vestandknickers · 08/11/2015 23:14

You seem remarkably casual. Most nine year olds would be appalled if they accidentally found porn. They certainly wouldn't look at it several nights in a row or hide it from their parents. You need to take this very seriously. It is a much bigger issue than your failure to use parental controls.

Original poster
Blea72 · 08/11/2015 23:15

Sorry God just seen the title - no he has not had friends over watching anything, it should read watching porn showing naked men!! I have auto correct on my iPhone! So sorry for any offence I just wanted advice!

OP posts:
Original poster
Blea72 · 08/11/2015 23:17

I am taking this seriously or I wouldn't have asked for advice, no other children were involved and yes it did occurre over a few days but not 24 hours a day, I wish I hadn't asked now as I feel terrible,

OP posts:
vestandknickers · 08/11/2015 23:18

So Titchy, you think it's perfectly fine for a nine year old to google naked men. Really?

QOD · 08/11/2015 23:20

Was it adult porn?
I never thought he was watching WITH boys (as in sitting with his friends) but you said "porn with boys and men"
I'm not having a go, I'm just concerned it abuse

Original poster
Blea72 · 08/11/2015 23:24

It was adult porn, he was embarrassed, I didn't want to upset him as it was so late and he needed to get to sleep, I will have to speak to him tomorrow, I may not let him have the iPod now but it's my fault for not setting the controls

OP posts:
DollyTwat · 08/11/2015 23:25

Op YouTube is the worst for this. You can't really set controls adequately as it relies on the uploader to categorise the content.
So, your ds could be innocently looking for mine craft videos and there are then 'you liked that ... You might like this' type links

It doesn't take many of those to get to very inappropriate types of videos

So yes you need toget a bit more savvy the older he gets.

BasicBanana · 08/11/2015 23:26

The OP has confirmed that the meaning most readers took of her posts that her son viewed porn which he accessed inadvertently due after googling topics which children are very naturally curious about.

Filters protect our children from their own natural curiosity and the alarming places a few clicks can take them. Actually many nine year olds will google terms that can bring this content up, if they watch it they look again, not cause they are porn addicts but because they are trying to make sense of it all and of their responses.

His behaviour is very normal, get filters sorted, check all of what he has seen and talk talk and talk.

reni2 · 08/11/2015 23:27

Was it child porn? If so, you must report it to the police. If not, internet safety up and iPod only supervised for now. You say "I trust my children" but you clearly shouldn't, at least not at this age with this device.

reni2 · 08/11/2015 23:28

Sorry, just saw it was adult porn

Original poster
Blea72 · 08/11/2015 23:28

Dollytwat, that's how he must have done it, he does utube minecraft and how to build things, I had no idea, I have set the parental control and I saw that in settings you can stop website access, but will that work for YouTube?

OP posts:
reni2 · 08/11/2015 23:29

We allow Youtube only with a parent in the room until much older.

recyclingbag · 08/11/2015 23:30

My son did this. He was looking up something he'd heard at school. He doesn't have his own device - it was on my iPad.

I whacked up the parental controls pronto.

We had a chat. I made the following points

  • if there's something you don't understand, ask Mummy or Daddy not Google.
  • there's nothing wrong with wanting to look at pictures of naked people as he gets older, but the Internet has lots of things on it which aren't nice or particularly normal and he is far far too young to know the difference.
Original poster
Blea72 · 08/11/2015 23:30

I'm inclined to just take the iPod away now and go back to him using the family computer in our main living room, I don't know how to set up filters etc and am worried now at what he might see

OP posts:
reni2 · 08/11/2015 23:30

Yes, you can select youtube as a banned site and "unban" it if you watch together.

reni2 · 08/11/2015 23:31

I think that is a good idea, OP.

BasicBanana · 08/11/2015 23:32

Vestandknickers, kids this age are very aware of gender and increasingly of sex. Give them a dictionary and they look up boobs, bottoms, poo, sex and they type 80085 into calculators and Google all the same stuff.

BasicBanana · 08/11/2015 23:33

Blea, I think that's a good plan too. We have a no devices upstairs rule too.

Themodernuriahheep · 08/11/2015 23:34

Um, IME actually it's v likely to be coming up in the playground. It's quite possible he googled by accident and was then intrigued, and I doubt he will have realised how serious it is. But I know that DS was constantly exposed to playground discussion, usually inaccurate, and that we had to have quite a few if these chats. And we had equivalents.

He should feel able to tell you anything and ask you anything at this age.

Lots of cuddles and factual discussion.

And Internet safety, for him obv, but also when a little horror says look at x he can say truthfully he can't because boring mum won't let me.

PM me if you want.

headexplodesbodyfreezes · 08/11/2015 23:35

Sounds lie recyclingbag handled it beautifully.

vestandknickers · 08/11/2015 23:35

No banana it's not the same. My nine year old son loves joking about bums and poo with his friends, but he is not sexualised and would be horrified if he accidentally accessed porn. He certainly wouldn't return to it.

ecuse · 08/11/2015 23:39

I too would start from the assumption he was curious about his body/bodies in general.

Don't tell him off, just explain it's not for kids but let him know he can talk to you / ask you questions.

Telling the school probably a good idea too - not to get him in trouble but so they can do a general Internet safety talk. He's probably picked it up from other kids or they've been egging each other on.

CassieBearRawr · 08/11/2015 23:39

OP are you not very tech savvy? I only ask because you've given an internet connected device to a very small child with absolutely no parental controls on and seemingly very few limits or supervision. You can also trace the trail of when and how this started through the history but you don't seem to have done that either. Reading up on parental controls and advice on how to keep kids safe online would be a good start. The official apple site is a good start for your device, and more general advice from CEOP and the NSPCC might help too.

I suspect this was an innocent search which, like so many internet searches leads down a rabbit hole and he's ended up on a porn site. But it could also be a targeted search based on things he's heard or seen elsewhere. I think it would be unwise to go in blind with assumptions of what you think he does or doesn't know - go in with an open mind and hear what he has to say.

He needs to know that 1) he's done nothing wrong, 2) he can always come to you with any questions or problems and 3) that not everything on the internet is suitable for children. It won't be the last time he searches for unsuitable things online, but it's your job to keep him away from the inappropriate stuff as much as possible and let him know he can always come to you if he comes across something he shouldn't.

It sounds like maybe you haven't had a lot of talks with him about puberty, sex or relationships either? This isn't the ideal springboard but now's a good time to get that dialogue going. The last place you want him learning about this stuff is the internet!

Original poster
Blea72 · 08/11/2015 23:39

I will be chatting with him about it and about the internet and explaining to him why the iPod is out of bounds, we have a family computer so he will use that, I will also have a chat with the school, the history went back to Friday so hoping he's not told anyone in. The playground but then again I guess he could have heard something there, we talk all the time and I Defo dont think it's his year group but I don't know as I an prob too trusting

OP posts: