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Original poster

if you caught your 9 year old son watching porn showing naked men on his iPod Touch!

101 replies

Blea72 · 08/11/2015 22:09

I feel sick as just caught my just 9 year old ds watching porn on his iPod touch, he had it hid under his pillow and begged that he delete something before I took it, I snatched it off him and he was hysterical and so upset, he said it just came up on the screen, I have checked his history and he's been looking at it for days, I have now set parental control and he is in bed, what the hell do I say to him tomorrow?

OP posts:
babarthefuckingelephant · 08/11/2015 23:42

Please give yourself a break it was going to happen at some point, its inevitable that he would have been curious at some point and looked at porn and you have obviously learned your lesson by him doing it so early on to up the parental controls and to have a chat with him. It may not even be a sexual thing he's thinking, it could be sexual exploration or sexuality but it could also just be plain old body image and self esteem and wanting to gage how "normal" he is or should be. Either way its natural to explore so don't make him feel like he's done something wrong, just explain how damaging it is.

Original poster
Blea72 · 08/11/2015 23:42

I am not savvy enough and I know this sounds dumb but I just didn't think about it on the iPod as I've always had it on the computer

OP posts:
BasicBanana · 08/11/2015 23:43

There is nothing to say the OPs son is sexualised - a common response to things that cause horror or revulsion or confusion is to look again. Things that are forbidden or adult seem high value which can add to this.

To be honest I am pretty certain most parents couldn't second guess their child's behaviour in this situation, kids have a long history of access adult images their parents failed to hide. Maybe you are right about your child, and plenty of others too but it's a situation where there is a huge range of normal responses.

CassieBearRawr · 08/11/2015 23:44

Lesson learned OP, don't beat yourself up but do improve controls and have a cuddle and a chat tomorrow reassuring your son.

Original poster
Blea72 · 08/11/2015 23:44

I won't be telling him off as I'm angry at me not him, I will explain as much as I can, hes a bright boy and we talk about everything and I always encourage him to tell me anything he's worrried about, I'm off to bed now, feel a bit better as there are a lot of you who are very understanding, thank u for listening

OP posts:
Kreeshsheesh · 08/11/2015 23:46

www.internetmatters.org

Original poster
Blea72 · 08/11/2015 23:48

Thanks will take a look at this website tomorrow, just had a quick look and looks as though this happens a lot!

OP posts:
Kreeshsheesh · 08/11/2015 23:48

Sorry I meant to say this is a helpful site for advice about how to keep your children safe when using the net. Please don't feel too bad OP. It really sounds like he was curious about his own body and stumbled across this.

LineyReborn · 08/11/2015 23:49

You might want to ask MNHQ to edit your thread title then. It reads that your nine year old son is 'watching porn with boys and men'.

Whatever is happening, it's not good.

Djelibeyb · 08/11/2015 23:50

I don't think it's unusual for a young boy to worry about changes to his body at 9 and googling naked men sounds like a 9 year olds way of finding out what is "normal"

I would get an age appropriate book about puberty (usborne what's happening to me are good) then sit down and talk to him about changes etc. During the conversation explain what porn is and why it's not for kids.

I don't think he's been scarred or abused just curious and intrigued. Oh and set parental controls.

Original poster
Blea72 · 08/11/2015 23:52

How do I ask mnhq?

OP posts:
Kreeshsheesh · 08/11/2015 23:53

I think you need to report your own post? That website is really very good. I'd recommend it to everyone.

PhilPhilConnors · 08/11/2015 23:54

My son did something similar when he was 8. I thought I had put parental settings on the iPod, but hadn't realised you need to download an app to do so properly, and had just adjusted them in settings.

He now has NetNanny with the strictest filters, is allowed to watch YouTube downstairs on the tv and I check his history very regularly.

IME some children are more likely to be curious than others, ds is very curious, so we are vigilant about what he can have access to.

Original poster
Blea72 · 08/11/2015 23:54

I've stayed up to look at it and yes it's very good! I've just emailed to ask to change the title,

OP posts:
LineyReborn · 08/11/2015 23:56

Yes you report your own original post and ask for an edit.

UterusUterusGhali · 08/11/2015 23:57

vest you can't possibly know that your DS wouldn't google "naked men" if offered unfettered internet access.

I would have done at that age. It's a step away from poo and bums and willies.

IfNotNowThenWhenever · 08/11/2015 23:57

Do you know what? I know loads of seemingly tech savvy parents, some of whom work in IT, and use all kinds of tech regularly, and I am often horrified at how lax they are about Internet safety. Then their kids come to school, and tell their friends what they have been looking at, who then look up stuff.
I could actually strangle these "cool" parents frankly. I don't want my 9 year old coming home and asking what "Bitch " or "crack cocaine" means.
I agree you tube is really bad in that it's hard to police. My son likes to look up minecraft stuff, pop songs, kids animations etc. There's a lot of stuff on you tube that looks like those things, but its not, it may be weird mash ups of kids shows, or "adult" parodies.
I know too many parents allowing tablets and I pods in bedroom, and these kids are 9 and 10 years old.
I don't allow any surfing unless I am right there in the room, and I have safe search setting on the device and on the broadband.
Honestly, at 9 it is not that much of a stretch that a child would google naked people. It's just that they are little kids. They have no idea what they are doing. That's why it's up to us.

PhilPhilConnors · 09/11/2015 00:00

Yes agree ifnotnow.
I know so many people who completely trust their dc with the internet, a few have been caught out and found that their dc have found things they shouldn't have.
Children are inherently curious, it's up to us to put limits on what they can do and see.

torthecatlady · 09/11/2015 00:04

If sounds like he may be wondering about puberty, his own or his friends?

DollyTwat · 09/11/2015 00:12

I banned YouTube unless it was on a pc in the room I was in. You can ban things from the device, from a net nanny type app or your router. YouTube is the worst though.

StealthPolarBear · 09/11/2015 06:10

I'm very pleased to learn it was adult porn. I honestly don't understand how an entire two additional words can be an auto correct.

VocationalGoat · 09/11/2015 06:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StealthPolarBear · 09/11/2015 09:39

How is he today op

Original poster
Blea72 · 09/11/2015 10:24

He is fine, a bit quiet but that could be because he's tired, we had big hugs and I didn't want any upset before school so I am preparing for a chat when he comes home, a little worried and didn't sleep well, I will update later, thanks for asking.

OP posts:
MNHQ
LisaMumsnet · 09/11/2015 10:52

Just to let everyone know that we've edited the title of this thread at the OP's request. MNHQ