Eating Disorder Recovery

[OhIFellOff]

I'm documenting my journey to try and recover from an eating disorder over the year. I know I'm not alone in this struggle, so thought I'd share my experiences.

ellechapmanblog.wordpress.com

Hi Purple It's great to have you back! I was wondering tofay how you were getting on. Egypt sounds like it could be hit or miss then? Although I bet the tan looks great.

I really wouldn't pay any attention to the shorts not fitting ober there. when I.lived abroad I had the same issue. put the same size on in uk and were too big, even uk shops . With the dresses I find putting on thin leggings underneath helps and I feel a bit less exposed. if it's too hot a lot of moisturiser has helped recently. It makes you feel worse but I try to remember that even friends who are really slim get it too.

We are so busy this weekend so it's distracting from my work worries. Only one more week to cope with and I'm done.x

Glad you are keeping busy fighting. That's half the battle!

I am determined next year that I won't feel self conscious on holiday. I doubt I will ever have the confidence to wear a bikini - years of yoyo dieting have taken their toll but I would like to wear a tankini!

I love that the longer we chat the more I can hear the positivy and determination come through purple. You are doing really well!xx

Thank you fighting. It was reading the thread and blog that made me realise I have a disordered relationship with food. I feel free from dieting now. I have accepted that it will be a slow process but I will get there and I am trying different foods too now that I am not calorie counting. I am trying a new breakfast tomorrow. A small amount of porridge oats mixed into some greek yoghurt with some dried berries in. I have made it tonight and put it in the fridge to set. I hope I like it. I need to do some research on healthy vegetarian food. Once my interview is out of the way I will have a look. I am also going to give up diet coke after the interview. Not doing it before as I will get headaches and I need to concentrate on my prep.

It's great that you have found help here and the blog. I'm glad sharing my journey has reached out.
Your breakfast sounds great! I need to try alpro big yogurt pots again as it sounds so healthy. I think of you when I want to give in and calorie count again. You have stayed off and inspires me to keep trying. Like you said we can do it together. Since I relaxed to move out of relapse, I have actually lost weight. So this needs to be added into my puzzle of finding what works for me.x

Wow. Im so pleased staying off the calorie counting has helped more than just me. We will both get through this. It will take time and there will be slip ups and bad days but we have to just try and think about the long term goal.

Have you ever thought about doing an inspiration board? I have a friend who does this. She prints out goals and puts it all on a board to remind her of what she wants to achieve so will put things like goal weight and pictures of clothes she wants to wear etc. I have considered it but never got round to doing it. X

Marking my place was bulimic for 10 years have been binge free for 20 !! Still have a not fully great relationship with food but compared to where it was its a lot better.

Hi Parsley, welcome. Your journey sounds like one that has had sucess. I like to think that we can all get to a place where we have good relationships with food. It's so hard to deal with something we have to have to survive isn't it. The journey teaches us a lot about ourselves though, certainly what I'm finding recently anyway. I hope you feel comfortable enough to come and share more with us.x

It sounds good purple. I haven't ever done anything visual like that. I have a bucket list if that counts . (I can't remember much of whats on it though, may need to look it up). Off to sleep as tomorrow will either be family day out or emergency dentist for DH, both busy anyway. I hope everyone has a good day and let us know how the breakfast goes purple.x

Hi guys, nice to see you - I hope everyone else is ok . Anyone seen Running ?

The mood board is a good idea, I often get people to write a description of their 'dream life' - all of the things you would like to have, do, be. The more detail the better, some people describe their house and bed linen, typical day, clothes over pages . Too often if we want to lose weight there will be lots of things on there that we feel we can't do, or have, or strive for, until the weight is lost. But when you actually look at each one (it could be dating, buying nice clothes, going on a trip, joining a class, applying for a certain job for example), then 90% of the time, weight is not a real obstacle, it is only you that is stopping you. By gathering your courage and starting to do the things, as we've discussed before, fake it to make it if necessary , then life becomes more like how we want it to be, self confidence and self esteem improves and the focus on losing weight is lessened. Very often just this and relaxing more about it can be key to dropping lbs.

The breakfast was lovely. I may add a few more of the berries next time. It was very filling so don't need loads.

Yesterday I was shopping with my mum.When I bought the berries she was looking at some of the different things and saying that she couldn't buy it as it was too many calories. I told her that there is a difference between good and bad calories and she would be better changing what she eats rather than restricting what she eats! Go me!!!! I don't think she has taken any notice though but it felt good saying it, knowing I am trying to change my way of eating.

Yay Purple...changes are happening . You could use the nutritional info for say, an egg vs a piece of white sliced bread to illustrate the difference to her next time the subject comes up. They have pretty much the same calories but are hugely different in terms of what your body gets from them. And when your body doesn't get what it needs nutritionally, it will keep telling you to eat more food until it does!

Purple so glad your breakfast was nice. Also I'm really proud of you, you really have made some great changes!

I came across a Womens Health magazine someone gave me this week. There are some recipes for meals which look great and healthy. Also a whole selection of 'balls' to make for different quick meals. Definitely giving those a go. I will try and get them on the blog.x

I have sent running a pm to see if she is ok. I sent one to Jokers a gew days ago but she didn't reply. Hoping things are ok and it's just a tech issue again. If eiher of you are lurking, we're thinking of you.x

A while ago we discussed switching out white food stuff for brown and whole grain. It's going ok or at least it was until yesterday. Wednesday I had brown rice. It turns out I am extremely intolerant to this! Its a shame as I really like it too. The pains I have had since then are awful, I almost called an ambulance yesterday but thankfully it went off. I had something similar a few weeks ago and put it down to reheating something, hadnt considered the food swap . The effect was probably magnified by eating granary bread too. I will just find another item to eat instead. I am laughing at myself a bit though, the pains were as close as I ever want to get to labour again. I was bent over the bath deep breathing like when DC's were coming My broodines vanshed faster than Michael Schumacher at a green light!x

Thats a shame fighting. It's horrible when that happens. I love red onion but it makes me ill.

Well, I stupidly weighed myself. It was after lunch so probably a couple of lb heavier than first thing when I would normally do it but I am very unhappy with the result. I'm just trying to think I have just got back from holiday so I won't be loads lighter. I haven't weighed myself in ages, probably not for weeks. I am probably accouple of lb less but that's it. I will now try to not get on the scales for a while now.

I have 4 stone to lose. It seems such a huge amount. I need to lose just over a lb a week, every week. I will have to do a decent amount of exercise as well without going over the top. I'm still finding it hard to not calorie count!

How you feeling today purple?

I was going to ask whether people thought we should ask for this thread to be moved into eating disorders? what do you all think?x

Hi *fighting. I'm ok thanks. It was my first day at work for 3 weeks which was awful! It was manic all day then had to deal with a serious incident at the end of the shift. Still feeling a bit sick but more nausea than anything else. How are you?

I would be happy having the thread noved to eating disorders.

Anyone heard from jokers and running yet?

Sorry your day is was so stressful purple. Hopefully now the first one is done, tomorrow will be a little easier.

I haven't heard from either of them.x

Hello

Thanks to Fighting for making me aware of this thread. So good to see a thread on this topic still going. I have been part of other threads across the years and they have generally gone quiet after a few weeks.

Really interesting thread, thanks to everyone that has shared. It makes it seem a little easier knowing I am not alone.

I am trying to abstain from overeating but haven't quite got it right as yet. Am managing some bits of it - no caffeine etc.

Had an awkward situ today which I didn't really deal with and I thought about some of the things I'd read on the thread about not speaking out/pushing emotions down. Sitting upstairs as I am concerned going downstairs will result in 'reaching' for food.

Anyway, I'll be back but need to go to bed (not downstairs!) shortly. Just wanted to say Hello & thanks for sharing.

MML

Welcome MML . Can you try and name what you are feeling? Write it down, now, either here or on paper?

Welcome margo

Well done on the no caffeine. I did it back on October but went back to it. Going to try again in a few days.

Hope you will feel free to post on here and get support if you need it.

Fighting you are checking in everyone else but how are you ?

Purple step away from the scales!

I think moving the thread is a good idea, it's more likely to be seen by anyone wondering if they might actually have issues with disordered eating...instead of simply believing they are just rubbish at dieting, like so many of us do

I haven't been on the scales since sleep. I won't do it until my clothes feel a lot looser - I promise.

Welcome MrsMargo, so glad you found us!
I look forward to you coming back. We are all here to help and understand opening up is hard even to ourselves. Sleep is good at getting us to think about things from different perspectives.

Sleep I've had better days. It's quite hard to say it and make it real. My SDF called today, he has skin cancer. I wrote it on the blog so that I'm not bottling it up. DH knows but not sure I'm ready to tell anyone else in RL. I get to see him at the weekend so that's good, give him a big hug. It's made me feel low but there seems to be a barrier stopping me backslide with food for now, I don't want to binge because of it. None of us will be as scared or frightened than he is right now. We will all be there for him. Rightly or wrongly I feel for now, that to binge would be selfish and make it about me. I will keep talking to DH and family. I have my outlet here and the blog if I need it. I don't want to let BED have the focus when family is so important right now.