Eating Disorder Recovery

[OhIFellOff]

I'm documenting my journey to try and recover from an eating disorder over the year. I know I'm not alone in this struggle, so thought I'd share my experiences.

ellechapmanblog.wordpress.com

[JokersGiggle]

Absolutely love your latest post x

[OhIFellOff]

Would it be an idea to perhaps say, you had a great day. You only missed some snacks, but you ate every other meal ?

That's probably the pot calling the kettle black. But I find other people's situation much easier to be positive about, compared to my own. I actually think you have done great. Plus you chose to talk about it, another good point for today! I would insert a picture here, but with them all being food it seems a bit inappropriate.

[Perfectlypurple]

I messed up too today. Binge day for me.

I think I will get the overcoming binge eating book. I keep thinking I can do this but I just can't. I can lose weight and get to a healthy weight and have a healthy lifestyle style but I can't stick to it.

One day I will crack it. I just have to find a middle ground between binge eating and eating overly healthy and over exercising.

[JokersGiggle]

Good point!
What I meant to say was - today was a good, I missed my snacks but I ate the meals and controlled my urge to exercise.
Thank you x
We all have "bad" days and "good"days, its a fact of life. We need to recognise our good as well as our bad.

[Sleepwhenidie]

Hi . OhIFell - what a great, brave blog, thanks for linking. I too am fascinated by the psychology behind all this, which is why I am about to qualify as an eating psychology coach. The themes raised on the blog and here are central to the way I have been taught. One key belief is that compulsions wrt food are not wrong, they are there to teach us something, to alert us to a need for change, not in the size of our jeans (whether big or small ) but elsewhere in life. There are also very many worse/damaging habits you could be using to deal with life...drugs, alcohol, gambling to name but a few.

OhIFell, please don't be discouraged by your 'fall off the wagon', it sounds very much like progress to me, my tutor likens it to the process of pulling out a splinter. Exactly as you have said, you are facing so many emotions that you have subsumed so far, it's going to be traumatic and your learned response is to binge, so it's very understandable.

The most important thing in all of this is to be kind to yourself, don't set impossible standards, progress, not perfection .

Can I suggest another book? The Gift of Our Compulsions by Mary O Malley, her story of overcoming BED with patience and a gentle process of understanding herself.

Good luck to you all, I'll be following the blog and thread and would love to be of help if I can.

[OhIFellOff]

purple, sorry to hear you had bad day. I would definitely recommend the book. I was so.oug of control when I started it. just seeing myself in descriptions helped bring my emtional state down to normality a bit. It is designed to cater for all of us, not just binge eating but I skipped over parts that weren't applicable to me.

Sleepwhenidie Hi, It's nice to talk another reader. This is all quite alien to me still. I'm only able to do it because I'm behind a keyboard. I don't like to stand out in RL. but my anxiety is reducing so this is definitely having a positive effect. You sound like you will be a great support to those who will be in your care. Again I can't copy and paste but your quote about perfection is very comforting.

[OhIFellOff]

Hopefully tomorrow is a good day for all of us.

[Perfectlypurple]

Thank you. Trying to feel positive. Hope to hhave a few good days now.

Hope everyone else has a good day tomorrow.

[JokersGiggle]

Morning everyone. We all ready to have a good day?

[OhIFellOff]

Morning, I'm aiming for it.

[JokersGiggle]

I've made a discovery! If I have negative feelings I can paint my nails a pretty colour and it makes me happy. And by the time I've finished the thoughts have gone! And I have pretty things to look at.
I know some people think its silly but i'm really getting into the motto "look good, feel better" taking the time out for yourself to do makeup, do hair, paint nails ect is really helping me. Thought id share that with others.

[OhIFellOff]

JokersGiggle I really got the impression you were smiling when you wrote that post. It sounds like a really good distraction technique with the added bonus of a boost for your mood. Can't think of a better project than making yourself look great.

[JokersGiggle]

Had a lovely day how about you guys? X

[Perfectlypurple]

Not great with the food but not horrendous. I did get my healthy stuff for the next 4 days at work. Planning a bit of exercise before work as I am a late shift so that will make me feel better.

[JokersGiggle]

Well done what exercise do you do?x

[OhIFellOff]

perfectlypurple everything you planned sounds really positive.

Today has been good so far. I ate sensibly. Although now is my 'danger' time iyswim.

[Perfectlypurple]

I do all sorts of exercise. I have a lot of equipment iny garage - treadmill, bike, crosd trainer and weights. I have also just got the insanity dvd set. I don't think I will do insanity every day as too intense and I will go way too far the other way.

Have a lot going on so trying to stop the emotional eating.

[JokersGiggle]

Wow that's a lot of equipment!

[JokersGiggle]

OhIfelloff - go and pamper yourself! Anything you like but make yourself feel special

[OhIFellOff]

purple you could rent that space out as a mini gym
jokers im still a bit fragile from being ill, so pampering would equate to a shower right now I'm using the book guide of one snack this evening then done.

[Perfectlypurple]

I let my friends use it for free.

Think I will get that book on my kindle. Not ready for people to know. It has taken me years of yo yo dieting to actually admit I have an eating disorder. I want to just eat normally.

[OhIFellOff]

I can understand that purple. I have told those closest to me. But in one sentence really (deliberate avoidance on my part and some lack of understanding from the other side). Only DH actually knows what it is really. I too didn't know / admit it was a disorders until just before Christmas. You will talk about when you feel ready, whenever that may be.x

[Perfectlypurple]

Thanks. I've started mentioning little bits to my husband but not quite all of it yet.

[JokersGiggle]

Lots of people that I have spoken to said that their husbands knew before they did but didn't say anything. or at least knew something want right and that their wives weren't happy.
Some husbands didn't have a clue but most did x

[OhIFellOff]

I asked DH if he knew what it was last night. He relayed it pretty perfectly to me. That was a pleasant surprise. I can't actually get the words out to say to my family. I managed to say I'm following a book for sorting my eating out email or whats app has been good to metion bits about it. My SIL asked about it, so I filled her in a bit more. Its such a grey area. only DH knows about the blog. If anyone else read it I'd probably clam up and be a bit stuck. I have to tailor what I write in case they ever do though. there are lst events and issues that I can't air. but I have done well with those deamons already.

That was a rather long winded way of saying don't let it worry you. Do what is right for you and no one else.x