Eating Disorder Recovery

[OhIFellOff]

I'm documenting my journey to try and recover from an eating disorder over the year. I know I'm not alone in this struggle, so thought I'd share my experiences.

ellechapmanblog.wordpress.com

Funnily enough I have been thinking about a glass of wine later, I rarely drink. I doubt I will as by the time I get home the urge will pass!

It must be the summer weather, added to stress. I've drunk more in a week thatn last two years. (ok that sounds bad. I haven't actually drunk in two years). how was work purple? xx

Still very uncomfortable at work. Hopefully my uniform will start to feel a bit looser soon. I didn't have wine when I got home which is good.

I did have a biscuit today and didn't go on to binge which is good. Normally I would have thought sod it, I've ruined it and just carried on eating unhealthy stuff.

I had salad for tea at work but have found I was quite hungry in the evening which I haven't been for ages so I am going to have to add some extras to the salad, maybe have some bread or something with it so I don't eat late at night. I am trying to only eat when hungry so I need to ensure I don't feel deprived!

Oh and don't feel bad about wine. I rarely drink so when I go on holiday and drink a couple most days I feel decadent doing it. It's normal to feel it's a lot when you don't normally drink.

morning . Although you're struggling with emotions, it does sound like your still making some great choices. well done with the biscuits, we all know how loud that voice can be making you want to either over eat or restict. You did give in and it takes strength. with the salad I find a lot of protein helps and sometimes a drink. Perhaps plan a snack so it's not half a pack of something that talks to us from the cupboard when we get hungry?

I'm paying for being daft last night and having a milkshake. have food poisoning type pains. I guess lately instead of huge binges I've been in self punishment mode, thinking it doesn't matter and I will deal with the consequences later. It's an indication of back sliding. I'm trying really hard to keep on the positive path but as you all know, when your emotions are through the floor its like swimming against them current . I lose my job in a few weeks . The stress of that, finding a new one and being able to cover bills is a bit much right now.

Sorry to hear about your job fighting. It's really stressful worrying about things like that which makes the emotional eating worse. I am going through a redundancy process and don't know yet if I will have a job at the end of it.

I hope you can come out of the self punishment mode soon. We have to accept there will always be backward steps.

It's horrible not knowing, I can imagine your stress is pretty high too. Hopefully once we are in new jobs or at least out of these situations, we will start to feel a bit better. I feel like im constantly carry it with me and it's affecting everything. big hugs and I hope you do keep your job.x

Hi everyone - purple you are doing really well, don't underestimate it. Don't add bread to your evening meal, try something else, maybe some cannellini or edamame beans, or perhaps chickpeas in a salad and some toasted seeds on top? These will give a boost of protein (and the seeds good fat) along with the carbs they contain, your body will get much more out of them than bread. Some cold roast sweet potato chunks would also be good .

Fighting are you dairy intolerant?

I don't know if any of you are following my blog, please let me know if you would like me to pm a link - I am on the MN bloggers network as natural balance coaching (but the link up doesn't seem to be working yet). I am blogging about body image, intuitive eating, recipes, nutrition and ways to live a healthier and happier life, some of it may be useful

I will try that sleep. I have got bread for tea tonight as I just did a quick sandwich to bring to work as I was still awake at gone 3 am so I slept in a bit! Will look at different beans. I like the idea of the sweet potato chunks.

I tried linking up with your blog sleep but it didn't work. if you can put one here it would be great.

Yes, I'm dairy intolerant. it would appear more sensitive now after nearly 5 years of eating alternatives 80% of the time. it was a bit reckless to drink a milkshake though, I well and truly paid for it!

I went back to the gym tonight, so hopefully I will feel better soon. Still struggling with low mood. I'm actually considering being signed off when I lose my job. give myself chance to recover...but not sure of the consequences. just feel like recovery is slipping away.

That's good you are back at the gym fighting. Consider the milkshake a useful reminder of what doesn't work for your body . How's the photography going? Some time out from work might be a good idea, if you think it will help you rather than have the opposite effect.

The blog is here. Hopefully the MN network link will work soon though.

Thanks for the link sleepx

No problem, how is everyone?

Im boiling hot - I am packing for my holiday and everything needs ironing! I haven't got as much to take as I would like because I haven't lost the weight I wanted to but trying to not get upset about that. A healthy non drastic way of life is the way to go.

Next year I will have cracked it and I will have lots of lovely clothes to wear.

Ah don't worry too much about the ironing, it will be so hot where you are going the creases will drop out in 5mins .

I hope so. Got everything done so spending the day relaxing. I am back at work tomorrow and working right up until we go.

Tagging to read later.

Super stressed. Trying to not eat. Had a work thing today relating to our redundancy to help with interviews. Wasn't too stressed as it was going to be rearranged. Just found out that the day it is happening now is when I am away.

I am super organised and have loads of stuff to go through so I should be ok but was kind of counting on advice about how the interview will be structured. Just hoping that I can see my supervisor next week before my leave and catch some time with her.

Any ideas on stopping comfort eating. Doing ok at the moment by spending time on here.

Should say had a work thing that was cancelled! Bloody phone.

Decided to go for a walk and tell myself I will feel better if I don't comfort eat and if I did it would make me feel worse!

I have found that looking at animals helps me relax, got a pets at home near you? Or a farm? OR a field?

I go to the gym, work on photos and most often blog. You did great going for a walk. I can definitely see a difference in how your posts sound, so something is changing.

jokers how's your week been?x

running are you still lurking? if you are hope your ok.x

I meant to say Hi Beatrice.

Had a very crap week.
My cousin announced she's having DC number 3 and is due the week after my twins would have been.
A few Weeks so I was offered a reduction in hours or redundancy, I picked the cut in hours so I now only work 15hrs over 5 afternoons which has been lovely (job searching for morning work though, feel bad leaving dp to be the main earner but such a huge amount ). Dp and I have spent lots of time together which has been really great. But he's decided he wants to take me away somewhere lovely in November and has taken on extra shifts, now working 4 or 5 12 hr shifts a week. And I miss him like crazy. its making him miserable too but he's committed to the rest of this month so he's got to see it through, then hopefully he won't sign up for so many in July.
But my weight hasn't dropped much which is really good. Got myself some new kitchen gadgets to keep things fun......nothing beats veg spaghetti lol.

Woooo I was post number 500!