Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Eating Disorder Recovery

999 replies

OhIFellOff · 18/03/2014 16:47

I'm documenting my journey to try and recover from an eating disorder over the year. I know I'm not alone in this struggle, so thought I'd share my experiences.

ellechapmanblog.wordpress.com

OP posts:
FightingBed2014 · 20/04/2014 18:12

We had a great day out. Ready for quiet time nowGrin You're a mummy too Jokers, your doing the hardest but most magical part, right now.x

JokersGiggle · 20/04/2014 18:57

Awww hadn't thought of it like that, thanks Smile x
Glad you've had a good day Smile

FightingBed2014 · 20/04/2014 20:00

How's yours been?

FightingBed2014 · 20/04/2014 22:18

This week has been hard for me and quite difficult emotionally. I've started the posts I mentioned a few days ago. It's likely to be in quite a few parts and leaves me with an uneasy feeling. I have talked about how my eating disorders started and it's not easy. I feel so nervous that my family (mostly my DM & DSF) will come across it one day and kick off. The story of my life, worrying about how my (possibly narc) mother may feel instead of worrying about myself. Really I want to sit and cry after the first post and it was general rather than in depth. That's not an option until bedtime as I'm sat with DF and I can't explain all this to him. He would be heartbroken to know all that has happened in his absence over the years. Just to top it off DM is coming back tomorrow for the week. I hope she's brighter to be around, I can't take much more narc behaviour. It's so draining and upsetting. Wish me luck ladies, by tomorrow evening she will be back.

JokersGiggle · 20/04/2014 22:38

Oh poor you. You will be in my thoughts and we're all here for you, you can be as brutally honest as you like and be safe here. It's so sad that she doesn't support you but just keep thinking about your achievements and how strong you are. Sometimes we feel weak and alone but we ARE strong women. A friend once told me that someone only has power over you if you let them have it. it's easy to apply to friends but much harder with family....but it can be done. My father used to be so critical and mean but eventually I just stopped listening. He still says the mean things but I just think "you mean, sad little man" and move on. I pity him if i'm honest, people like that seem to have nothing nice in their life, nothing nice to say so they say mean things because they themselves are mean.
But we can rise above it, I call it "riding the cloud" . Don't give her the power to ruin your day/your intentions/your hopes ect.
Learn from her how NOT to behave, so when your children are grown you won't make the mistakes she has made.
Thanks

JokersGiggle · 20/04/2014 22:50

Or you could just spike her drink to knock her out! Grin

Sleepwhenidie · 20/04/2014 23:04

Oh Fighting Thanks, sorry you are having a rough time. It's so hard, having a difficult relationship with our DM's. It goes straight to the heart of who we are and our vision of how we think a mum/daughter relationship 'should be'. Make sure you have that cry when you can. It's hard working through these issues but it definitely is the right thing for you to do to get to the heart of your compulsive behaviour, I imagine your therapist has said the same? Jokers' advice is great too and I second her urging to offload here (or pm) whenever you need to.

Have you been on the stately homes thread? Lots of posters with similar narc parents on there.

JokersGiggle · 21/04/2014 10:21

In a complete panic!!! Got friends coming over got lovely menu planned taking into account their likes and dislikes (a berry difficult task) and they've just texted to say that their 13 yr old daughter (who is a spiky u,, over indulged brat) had decided that today she is vegan!!! And now I have to find something to feed her! And dp was looking forward to griddled steaks so I'll still do that but now I need a whole new menu! She doesn't like salad, fruit, nuts or pulses!

Sleepwhenidie · 21/04/2014 10:59

A vegan who doesn't like salad, fruit, nuts or pulses Shock...as if it wasn't hard enough to ensure you get proper nutrients as a vegan anyway! She's going to make herself ill if she keeps that up, it would be bad enough as an adult doing it but as a growing teen, terrible. Can you talk any sense to her parents? We have a friend who was no dairy, no meat, no wheat but he did at least eat fish until recently. Nightmare to cater for but I could do lentils and rice salad. Very difficult to prepare for without shopping specifically...can you/are you going to shop?

Sleepwhenidie · 21/04/2014 11:08

Thinking about it, I actually wouldn't change the whole menu now, it's pretty unreasonable of them to expect you to cater for a (suddenly) vegan dd with a few hours notice on Easter Monday! Just go with your planned menu, provide some veg and rice and let her make of that what she will, it will make her realise that being a vegan can be challenging in practical terms as well as nutritionally!

JokersGiggle · 21/04/2014 12:16

I've turned it into a buffet rather then a sit-down meal. Did some shopping, been really accommodating.
And she's just seen the prawns said yum yum and eaten some!!! For f..ks sake! But she's still sticking to being vegan despite eating about 10 big prawns. And her mums just told me that last night she ate a load poof roast chicken so she's not worried about protein.
She's "going through a phase" but they don't want to "crack her spirit".

FightingBed2014 · 21/04/2014 12:56

Holy crap jokers thats not on. they may not want to crack her spirit, but I'd want to crack them, for them putting you in that situation.

FightingBed2014 · 21/04/2014 14:14

I meant to say thank you for the support last night. It helped a lot. I've got my positive head on as we head to collect DM. I have decided I will limit visits when possible for the future , just to save my own sanity really.

I have seen this stately homes thread a few times but I prefer to stay off it. The less I think.about that the better I normally do. This week just brought up things so decided to try and adress some of it, in the hope it will help my recovery. There's year and years of things I haven't and won't talk about. mostly because it would be far too long and out me. but also because therapy has allowed. me to make peace with it, forgive and move on. I'll never forget but I have let the anger go there. It made a big difference to my own happiness.

JokersGiggle · 21/04/2014 15:01

Sorry I'll read all your posts in a bit but just wanted a rant - she's eaten cheese cake and ice cream!!!!!!

FightingBed2014 · 21/04/2014 15:25

That's just taking the piss. So is the evening activity going to be, reading definitions from the dictionary?

Sleepwhenidie · 21/04/2014 17:15

Grin you have to laugh!

JokersGiggle · 21/04/2014 18:36

I'm going to kill this child.
The family are still here and I've just heard her saying to her mum that I've done nothing for her to eat!
Aimed just at her I did couscous salad, normal salad, soup, garlic bread (homemade) and left off the garlic butter and put it into a bowl for people to add so she could have it, chips, I did mix bean salad, stir fried veg and for desert I did fruit Salad, frozen bananas and grounded to fake ice cream, baked banana, sorbet of 3 different flavours, stewed plums, baked apples and pears and veggie jelly!

earlier I asked why she likes peaches and not nectarines as they are basically the same. Her reply - nectarines are just bald peaches and she doesn't like bald things.

Everyone else loved the food, I've put in loads of effort even thought I've feel ill and exhausted and that brat is complaining! And the mum hasn't correctedher/told her to watch her manners ect.

I honesty expected a "thank you" or something for accommodating her at the last minute, for changing everything. all I've done is listen to her whine about her ballet teacher, her riding instructor, my "annoying" dog, why should I have a horse when she cant, my house is so small she's getting claustrophobic. blah blah blah. And her mum has let her.

I'm cooling off in the kitchen with my dog trying to find a way to get the brat out of my house. Dp looks ready to kill het but is managing ( only just) to be civil.

Maybe I'll give her food poisoning..... Or get her drunk.....or both......or slip her some horse tranquilizer.....

FightingBed2014 · 21/04/2014 19:09

Get DP to sqy im really sorry but jokera has started to feel unwell. she is currently in the bathroom and then going to bed. Hopefully they will worry yhat they will get the shuts for the next day or so. Once out, don't invite them again. My DC would have been bollocked ages ago, very rude from all of them!

FightingBed2014 · 21/04/2014 19:10

Sorry for the bad typingBlush

JokersGiggle · 21/04/2014 19:16

It's had cos I do get on with the parents and their really lovely son. It's just the spoilt princess that's the problem.
Don't worry about the spelling.
They keep saying "we must make a move" but they are yet to leave.....

FightingBed2014 · 21/04/2014 19:20

Start clearing up and be slow about itGrin

JokersGiggle · 21/04/2014 20:07

They've finally gone!!!!!!! Dp ordered me not to even look at the mess in three kitchen, he's sat me on the sofa watching "the proposal" while he cleans up Smile

FightingBed2014 · 21/04/2014 20:48

BonusGrin

JokersGiggle · 22/04/2014 17:21

Where is everyone today?!

FightingBed2014 · 22/04/2014 17:26

I just got home from work. I'm totally knackered. Still need to do dinner but can't be arsedSmile. How's everyone's day been?