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Original poster

Eating Disorder Recovery

999 replies

OhIFellOff · 18/03/2014 16:47

I'm documenting my journey to try and recover from an eating disorder over the year. I know I'm not alone in this struggle, so thought I'd share my experiences.

ellechapmanblog.wordpress.com

OP posts:

JokersGiggle · 18/04/2014 20:09

I use the nutrient break down to check I'm getting enough of each thing. The other day I realised I was getting limited B vitamins so using google I was able to find some that were high in vit B. It's a great to if used well and not obsessed over (I can't get a but "over focused" aka obsessive lol)

Perfectlypurple · 18/04/2014 20:14

Thanks jokers . I am such a fussy eater and I really struggled low carbing not eating fruit etc. I just want to eat relatively healthy, mainly eating fresh non processed stuff with the odd meal out. I want to be able to have a sandwich which will make life easier. I want to have the energy to exercise as I feel so much better and happier when I do that.

In bed now. Feeling a bit sick so have bucket by the bed just in case!

JokersGiggle · 18/04/2014 21:05

Oh poor you, get better soon

I found that packet food was easier cos of the Nutrition info on the packet but had lots of salt ect, so the internet is great. I also have some books I could look in for you if you want a specific nutrient or want to know about a specific meal. Got some time off so very happy to take the time to share recipes (I've really got into cooking )

Perfectlypurple · 18/04/2014 21:20

Thank you. Packet food is so much easier! I can't find my little calorie book so will get myself a new one. I know the calorie content of most of my regular foods from all the years of doing this but not the carb count and I really think I need to be mindful of the carbs.

Have just ordered some great little compartment food containers for work. I work shifts and have loads of different tuperware for different shifts so have got a different one for breakfast, lunch and tea! It will help me keep my portion sizes right too.

JokersGiggle · 18/04/2014 21:55

Although the recipes give the calorie amounts I find the nutrient levels better - thing like high fibre veg/ carb options and beans that keep you Fuller for longer. And foods heigh in oxidant ect.

Perfectlypurple · 18/04/2014 22:15

I'm going to try and up my protein intake. I found when low carbing I wasn't hungry in between meals as I was having more protein. Unfortunately being a fussy vegetarian makes it difficult!

JokersGiggle · 19/04/2014 08:24

I have a recipe for a cheese sauce that uses a lot of tofu. And pasta sauce and chilli recipes that use quorn mince. Any of that sound good to you?

Perfectlypurple · 19/04/2014 09:25

That would be great jokers thanks.

FightingBed2014 · 19/04/2014 10:29

Morning Purple hope you're feeling better. Jokers you sound happy, which is great.

I'm just about to get up Dad got up with 2DC so feeling quite relaxed. I was quite good last night with buffet tea. I ate loads of salad and small bits of other stuff. It's amazing the difference, when your in a positive environment. Feeling loads better here.

Perfectlypurple · 19/04/2014 11:20

That's great fighting - really positive.

I weighed myself this morning. Very upsetting but I didn't cry so that's a bonus! Trying to get into a positive mindset.

Have a good day everyone.

JokersGiggle · 19/04/2014 11:24

glad you had a good evening.

For tofu cheese sauce:
2 tbsp corn flour
500 ml milk
300-400g tofu (silken gives the best texture but any sort is fine)
150-200 grated cheese
Salt, pepper and mustard to taste

Put the corn for in a sauce pan with 4 Tbsp of milk and whisk til smooth. Turn on a medium heat and slowly add the rest of the milk, don't stop whisking/stirring or it does like glue at the bottom. Simmer while stirring til thickened to how you like it. Stick the milk mix and all other ingredients in a blender and whizz ti ssmooth. Return to the heat and gently simmer for a few mins, or longer to thicken further. add more seasoning if needed.

It can go in the freezer.
Easily enough sauce to cover 400g of pasta or 500g of veg.
I make gallons of the stuff tostick in the freezer as it makes a quick and easy dinner

Perfectlypurple · 19/04/2014 11:25

Thanks jokers

Perfectlypurple · 19/04/2014 19:56

I think I have turned a corner. I have weighed and calorie and carb counted all my food today. I feel much better and less bloated. I am working tomorrow so have prepared all my food for work and for when I get home.

I also bought some clothes so I have a bit more to wear. I feel like the pressure is off to get into my smaller clothes quickly. I am going to try to crack my diet coke addiction so got some lemon barley water. I know it's not ideal but if I can replace a lot of the diet coke with that and water I can eventually get rid of the diet coke completely.

I have worked out I need to lose 4 stone. If I can do that by my next birthday I will be happy and it's a 1.1lb loss a week. I would like to do it earlier if possible but I am determined to give myself the year. I know the first few weeks will probably be a bigger loss but then I figure it will hopefully settle down to just needing a lb a week.

I also saw some lovely swimming costumes today but going to wait until nearer the holiday to get things like that. Next week I am going shopping with my mum to try to find some sun dresses.

So, when I think back to the constant tears and frustration of a week ago I know that now I am on the right track and I am going to try really hard to not panic if I get invited out and don't have control of my food.

So, how's your easter weekend been. Hope it's as sunny where you are as it's been here.

FightingBed2014 · 19/04/2014 20:26

Purple it really does sound like you're in a good place! I'm happy for you as although you've had a few bumps, it really sounds like a transition. You're doing great.x

I'm good, had a day full of fun and laughs with family. The sun was shining here too. I was going to post more on the blog, but the things I want to talk about are a bit dark for me. A quick attempt earlier left me feeling low, so I went off to something else.

Perfectlypurple · 19/04/2014 20:33

Glad you went off to do something else instead of giving into the low feeling.

JokersGiggle · 19/04/2014 20:39

Go purple !!!! Sounds like you've got it worked out which is half the battle ( it is for me anyway )
It's been sunny but really windy where I am so not much outside time for me cos of my ears, but never mind. I had a good time baking and Cuddling pets today. Dp was fixing his car today and managed to pull a muscle in his chest, unfortunately he's working tomorrow so no time to rest it.....I've found myself having to rub it better for him and hold a warm wheat cushion against it.....think he might be making it out to be worse than it is to get extra special treatment lol. He says it's nice to be the patient for once

runningLou · 19/04/2014 20:51

Hope it's ok to join this thread? I was on the ED one in Health section for a bit ... I have skim-read the thread and you all sound really lovely and so many of you are going through feelings / situations I recognise.
I was diagnosed with bulimia a couple of weeks ago by a psychiatrist. Currently on waiting list for treatment programme, probably beginning late May but they may discontinue it as I am due to move house. Over this past year I've gone through successful weight loss, the end of an affair (mine, and I know for many people this will be intolerable, but I wanted to be honest about it here as I know it is related to my behaviour with food. I was incredibly lucky DH decided to give me another chance), house sale and move, and projected further move. At the moment I am also looking for a new job.
I alternate between restricting and over-exercising, and then bingeing and taking laxatives. I am in a real cleft stick at the moment as I have injured my knees running too hard, and am totally lost without my running - which was both coping mechanism and calorie burner. Have replaced it with cycling but not sure it's the same ... Did 15 miles yesterday.
Tonight I have nicked some of the kids' eggs whilst planning their Easter hunt. It is very up and down here!
I am keeping a journal and I find this helps, and to be honest I think I am in a better place with all this than a few weeks ago.
Also my sister is anorexic and regularly texts me with updates on her food phobias and other issues, leaving me at a loss to respond. I am meant to be staying with her and my mum next week ...

FightingBed2014 · 19/04/2014 21:00

Hi running, really glad you felt able to join us. Just being on here chatting makes me feel better. I hope you find it helps you too. No judgment here, just support on the road to recovery.

Perfectlypurple · 19/04/2014 21:10

Hi running. Post away! Oneof my best friends is anorexic and severely underweight. I have to remember that when she is struggling and saying she is fat that she isn't thinking of my size, but it's hard when I am probably at least 5 stone heavier than her!

This is a good thread to come on and moan or celebrate. I also over restrict and over exercise or binge and do no exercise. This time I am going to try and not do that. I usually excessively count the calories I burn through exercise and then try to work out how much I will lose based on what I hate eaten and burned exercising.

It's hard to change how we act isn't it.

JokersGiggle · 19/04/2014 21:37

Hi running lovely to have you here
Just thought id share 2 successes - i'm 7st 5 which was my target to get up to! And by my calculations i'm now 7 Weeks along
Lets hope Berry stays on board

runningLou · 19/04/2014 22:44

Thanks for inviting me Fighting, am glad to be here. Sounds like we have some stuff in common, purple!
And congratulations, Joker - 2 major successes there!

I was 9st 8 this morning, after gym class, but have binged since :( The trigger was food shopping on my own - bad move - need DH and the kids there for protection from carbs!! And also chatting to a friend who is doing a 7 day juice detox - you know those 7lbs in 7 days ones. Made me feel yukky.
I would like to get back to 9st where I was last summer. But, I was running happily then on healthy knees! Since then I have gained and lost the same 10-12 lbs over and over again ...

runningLou · 19/04/2014 22:58

Just read your blog post on being a runner with an injury, Fighting - yes, yes, yes - I can totally identify with that! And the miscomprehension / Mo Farrah thing ... my ex-physio (never went back to him) told me it didn't really matter whether I rested or exercised with my injury as I 'wasn't exactly Jessica Ennis'. Well no, but this is such an important part of my wellbeing, and not to be belittled by unthinking 'health' professionals! Rant over.

FightingBed2014 · 19/04/2014 23:26

sorry you had that experience running. It sounds like a very hurtful situation, in a place that should offer help and rehabilitation. Perhaps karma will adress that.
Not being able to run has really knocked me. To be honest I haven't trained much at all since I found out. Feeling very demoralised. There are other factors at work, but it started there. Hopefully I can get back into it as the benefits are great. Whether or not I reach my goal for November's event, is uncertain now but I'm plodding on with my mental tasks regardless.

FightingBed2014 · 19/04/2014 23:43

Jokers very happy to read your success post. All really positive.x

JokersGiggle · 20/04/2014 12:48

Hope you all have a lovely Easter enjoying family time. Your all so blessed to have children to share days like this with x

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