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Original poster

Teenage stepson touched me

166 replies

Cherie67 · 16/02/2014 08:47

Help! I was having a snooze on my parents in law sofa after a shopping trip and was awoken when felt somebody touching my breast. At first I thought it was my husband being playful but when I opened my eyes, I was shocked to see it's my 13 years old stepson. I was so shocked that I did not managed to react. This isnt the first time though, last year during our holiday, I felt him touched my breast and told him off but he said it was an accident. On both occasion I spoke to my husband about it. He said he was going to talk to his son. I dont feel comfortable being around him anymore. He visits us only on sundays and occasionally he is allowed long weekends with us if we visit my in laws here in the Cotswold. What should I do?

OP posts:
Greythorne · 16/02/2014 09:56

Kingrollo

Where on this thread has anyone suggested police, bringing charges or legal proceedings?

I specifically said I would not be calling the police.

Bonsoir · 16/02/2014 09:56

AwfulMaureen - you are extrapolating to cases that are not documented. SDDs don't have parallel issues with their SFs.

AwfulMaureen · 16/02/2014 09:57

bonsoir this is not an academic paper...step out of your books and into life.

VegetariansTasteLikeChicken · 16/02/2014 09:58

It is not "acceptable" but there is nothing unusual about it

bonsoir really? So I guess young girls at school should just expect to be sexually assaulted? And the boys not punished as boys will be boys.

OP, YOU talk to him. Scare him, let him know touching women in their sleep is nnot Ok it is assault. And if you have daughters in the hosue..keep an eye out

Bonsoir · 16/02/2014 09:58

I'm in life. You are the one imagining worst case scenarii
!

MrsKCastle · 16/02/2014 10:00

Bloody hell. I can't believe anyone thinks this should be ignored. It may be normal for stepsons to think about their stepmothers in a sexual way as they grow up, but it is NOT ok for them to act on it.

Yes, it is assault. No, I wouldn't suggest calling the police. But I do think that the OP (and/or her DP) shouldhave a very serious talk with the stepson. He needs to be very clear that such attention is unwelcome, that it is assault and that he needs to establish consent before acting in a sexual manner with anyone.

TheProsAndConsOfHitchhiking · 16/02/2014 10:01

I am so pissed of that anyone would give advice that this is ok.

AwfulMaureen · 16/02/2014 10:02

Bonsoir but you seem incapable of having your own thoughts!

Greythorne · 16/02/2014 10:03

Those who think it's acceptable...this boy has acted on a sexual urge with the OP. What suggests he won't act on his next sexual urge if he is not given an explanation why this is wrong?

VegetariansTasteLikeChicken · 16/02/2014 10:03

Honestly - would you call the police if your DSS nicked a chocolate from the box you had been given? Or would you tell him - kindly - not to do that again

this is vile and I think likely to go against MN talk guidelines. Please dont comapre sexual assault to stealing sweets.

LucyLasticBand · 16/02/2014 10:04

where is op.
posted and ran.
Hmm

CrabbyWinterBottom · 16/02/2014 10:05

I am Shock Shock at Bonsoir. What fucking planet are you on??

OP you need to sit down with the lad and discuss this. He needs to know that sexually touching someone without their consent is very serious. At the age of 13 with no SEN he should be aware of that and if he isn't then he needs to be!

SagaNorensLeatherTrousers · 16/02/2014 10:07

I agree that it is assault even if it's a 13 year old. I've taught my FIVE year old that our bodies are OURS and OURS only and no one has the right to violate that, no matter what age.

Agree he needs to learn this NOW before he thinks "Oh so I CAN touch people up in their sleep and there are no consequences for doing so."

Bonsoir what planet are you on?

JumpingJackSprat · 16/02/2014 10:07

Bonsoir what you have just said is breathtakingly crass and insulting towards people who have been assaulted. Deal with assault from males yourself (going by your previous posts you mean ignore and put up with being assaulted in your own home) in order to avoid being seen as "shouting assault"? Op pay no attention to bonsoir. She may have stepsons but she also clearly has a massively skewed view of what should be acceptable in society. Rape apology at the worst I think I've ever seen it on MN.

SagaNorensLeatherTrousers · 16/02/2014 10:07

X post Crabby!

Bonsoir · 16/02/2014 10:08

Not letting my imagination get the better of me is a sign that I am very much in control of the information I have at my disposal.

VegetariansTasteLikeChicken · 16/02/2014 10:09

I don't think the Op had to imagine her breasts being touched. It's happened twice now.

Whereisegg · 16/02/2014 10:11

Bloody hell, my dss is 11, should I be expecting him to start groping me at some point in the next couple of years?!

Op, you need to get over your embarrassment and talk to dss with your dp.
He will absolutely think that this is an ok thing to do if nobody calls him on it.

Did your dp actually talk to him about it last time?
If he did, it makes this occasion much more serious imo.

SagaNorensLeatherTrousers · 16/02/2014 10:11

What part of what happened is imaginary Bonsoir?

Lauratheexplora · 16/02/2014 10:13

where is Op?????????????

Lauratheexplora · 16/02/2014 10:14

Just wondering....Confused

ArgyMargy · 16/02/2014 10:14

Wow, Bonsoir - apparently you are encouraging the boy in question to become a rapist! This is something I've not seen before. FWIW I agree with your advice.

LucyLasticBand · 16/02/2014 10:15

who lit the touch paper?

amyshellfish · 16/02/2014 10:15

Laura if you think the op is a troll then report as per guidelines.

Lauratheexplora · 16/02/2014 10:16

I certainly will.