wwyd...Measles Vacs

[mothermars]

Hi
Not wishing to start a huge debate over vaccinations. But, I have a dilemma!

DH is anti vaccinations. Our DS is due his MMR and I have opted for the singles. I did his other routine jabs (against DH's wishes) and that caused friction like you wouldn't believe. But I felt that it was the right thing and that my DS life was more important than my DHs feelings on the matter.

However, I have concerns with the MMR (single or otherwise). My DH has done years of research, and he feels justified by his findings. He has little faith in our government and (long story short) believes it is meanly a money making scam etc. He said that the contents of the vaccines would shock me. He's also spouted much more 'evidence' that vaccinations potentially can do more harm then good. I've done my research too. And I think the only reason I'm doubting myself now, is because I don't have DHs backing, and to me, this is such a big deal, that I feel I am taking a gamble and I'm unsure what to do.

If two parents have strong views and both think they are right - where is the compromise? The middle ground? Who gets the final say? We usually unite in every other aspect.

I know the majority are pro vaccinations, and will say that I should have final say and do it. But bare in mind , that he truly believes that his research is more valid and less corrupted, so me saying "read x y and z" will not alter his opinion.

Has anyone been in this situation before and what did you do?

Also, does anyone know how I can get hold of the breakdown 'ingredients' in the single measles vacs?

Thank you..

...Most people don't agree with mmr...

I'd suggest that although vaccination rates have dropped in recent years due to the media scaremongering, the national rate is still over 80% so I'd say most people do ultimately agree with it.

I cannot be bothered to read all of this, but I wanted to say, DD had measles, post vacination, the doctor said this can happen, but it lessens the impact, so she wasnt as bad as she would be.

She was very poorly, even having been vaccinated, she was running a high temperature, she got secondary infections, thrush, throat etc, and more importantly, it was literally months, before she was clear of disgusting, green, mucousy snot, streams and streams and streams of it.

I am so glad she was already vaccinated, because she was ill enough, she would have been a million times worse without the vaccince.

And I think you will find the vast majority of non vaccinators are in the south and south east.
Iirc from the stats.

Toss a coin. I am not being flippant. If you won't budge and he won't budge then you have a stalemate. Or find an honest broker to arbitrate. Hard but not impossible I imagine.

If you do not vaccinate, and your DC does become ill with any of the diseases, perhaps your DH will volunteer to be the one at home doing sickbay duties.

As an afterthought, it is a pity you and your DH did not discuss this issue before having DC. It seems a fundamental part of parenting to me. Perhaps you had no idea of the strength of his feelings? Or did he develop them only after you had DC and the decision became a reality?

unimaginative I didn't mean blanket don't agree, I just ment most people who are anti vaccination mmr wise tends to be because its a triple vaccination rather than separate.
I have a friend who's daughter has had no vaccinations however she was willing to pay for a single jab measles.

Do you know what?

Who decides?

Take it to court. The lawyers will look at the evidence, charge you (both of you) bucketloads of cash, then the judgement will be that, on weight of evidence and discredited evidence you would be putting your child through greater risk of injury or death if he DOESN'T have the vaccine, than if he does.

It's all been through the courts already, and this is what was found. Save yourself some money and just get it done.

OP, I have a PhD in molecular biology and 12 years of postdoctoral research experience, and I am still to see "all that research" against vaccination. There is NO debate among researchers. Simply no debate. Please ask your DH to let me know about all those heaps of strange components that are in current vaccines, because he really must have some access to top-secret government literature no researcher has ever read. I will be happy to have a look at it.

There are many more people who actually have a reaction to antibiotics than to vaccines. Surprisingly, I am still to see an "anti-antibiotics" group. That's not the current fashion, I guess.

Vaccination saves lives, lack thereof kills. This simple.

Monkeybignuts, she says she did all the routine vaccinations, so far, so that would include tetanus. I suppose that would be three lots of five in one and meningitis?

Also on your second point, it's not exactly a statistical survey, but I know some

brycie I know it makes shit all sense to me too! My kids have had all their jabs to date however I did spread out the 3rd lot where they are given 3 separate injections in one go (my son had a febrile convulsion after that jab, 1st born)

makeitalarge yes she is unvaccinated and her mum feels very justified in that, which frightens me just a little

Agree entirely with MakeItALarge. It's skewed with the conspiracy theorists and the people who find joy in being cynical.

Who gets the final say when you BOTH think you are RIGHT

One of you is going to have to give in when you are this diametrically opposed. You could work it out as a swap (you give this time & he gives next time or other a different issue where you 100% disagree), or you could point out which parent will have the immediate duties of nursing if the child falls ill should decide.

who know what is actually in the vaccine

Whatever your DH objects to about MMR will basically be in the singles, too. Preservatives, aluminium-based adjuvants, processed biological materials, fragmented proteins of the actual infectious agent, saline, etc.

Ask your husband if he's nervous about dihydrogen monoxide, too. I've heard some very dodgy things about that stuff. Have to use it very carefully indeed.

DH is microbiologist, DD is getting all of her jabs. There's no scientific evidence linking MMR and autism, the media jumped on a section of a opinion letter written for a journal and whipped up a crazy media storm. If it helps OP, I can get DH to pm you later (on my account) with all of the details.

"It's skewed with the conspiracy theorists and the people who find joy in being cynical."

Er I honestly think people believe they are doing the best for their children and that's the beginning and end of it. People don't "make a point" at the expense of (what they believe to be) their child's health. I think that's why arguments often don't go anywhere - a set of assumptions that's completely false, like being moronic or just wanting to make a point. They care about their children just as much - amazingly.

I still think that what mothermars wants is to get her child protected against the most dangerous diseases and she has to focus on achieving that, and just dismissing her husband's views isn't going to achieve it.

The idea of going to see a specialist is a good one to consider. The idea of meeting half way in order to get measles done as soon as possible is a good one to consider. The idea of whisking the children off and doing it is pretty awful, I think. The risks involved are really tiny but they aren't non-existent and you can't do that without the other parent's involvement.

I still think that's the best way ahead. Even if she goes full out to argue for MMR, very strong, then "concedes" that she'll put up with just single measles vaccine for now, then she's meeting him half way and he's meeting her halfway. He can't have his own way without her consent any more than she can. If he is absolutely digging his heels in she would have the perfect right to say - well that's without my consent - I'm now digging my heels in and I will do MMR without your consent. He might then see that the most sensible thing to do would be measles vaccine on its own.

I'm sure there was a court case a couple of years ago when the mum didn't want her DC vacinated and the dad did. The courts backed the Dad.
FWIW My DC have all had the MMR with no problems.

I remember that too, but can't find link.

www.1cor.com/1198/?form_1155.replyids=277).

Worth adding this decision was apparently made when the courts (unlike the scientific community) still hadn't determined that the MMR doesn't cause autism.

I must say I think that case is a bit weird. After all children don't really need the MMR for their own health. The R bit is for the social good. so I can see that the judge might rule in favour of measles and mumps vaccine but not in favour of MMR.And the whole case was about the child's benefit.

I think any legal case would find in favour of the parent who wants the vaccine.
Like someone else said even meeting half way & getting a single measles vaccine is better than leaving a child completely unprotected! & you can't just point blank say no tough, parenting is a two person job and both opinions if the parents are together are equally valid. so a compromise needs to be sought somewhere without the child being put at risk.

I feel I must justify this by saying I've done mine! But I think my point still stands.