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Original poster

wwyd...Measles Vacs

190 replies

mothermars · 15/10/2012 23:17

Hi
Not wishing to start a huge debate over vaccinations. But, I have a dilemma!

DH is anti vaccinations. Our DS is due his MMR and I have opted for the singles. I did his other routine jabs (against DH's wishes) and that caused friction like you wouldn't believe. But I felt that it was the right thing and that my DS life was more important than my DHs feelings on the matter.

However, I have concerns with the MMR (single or otherwise). My DH has done years of research, and he feels justified by his findings. He has little faith in our government and (long story short) believes it is meanly a money making scam etc. He said that the contents of the vaccines would shock me. He's also spouted much more 'evidence' that vaccinations potentially can do more harm then good. I've done my research too. And I think the only reason I'm doubting myself now, is because I don't have DHs backing, and to me, this is such a big deal, that I feel I am taking a gamble and I'm unsure what to do.

If two parents have strong views and both think they are right - where is the compromise? The middle ground? Who gets the final say? We usually unite in every other aspect.

I know the majority are pro vaccinations, and will say that I should have final say and do it. But bare in mind , that he truly believes that his research is more valid and less corrupted, so me saying "read x y and z" will not alter his opinion.

Has anyone been in this situation before and what did you do?

Also, does anyone know how I can get hold of the breakdown 'ingredients' in the single measles vacs?

Thank you..

OP posts:
MakeItALarge · 16/10/2012 00:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
mothermars · 16/10/2012 00:55

MakeItALarge - I'm glad it's all so black and white for you. However. My DH BELIEVES that he is right No GP, etc will change his opinion becuase at the end of the day he thinks its one big scam and they simply create a problem to create a solution to make money (more in depth then that but I daren't say more).

You try telling someone that thinks they are right, that they are putting the lives of vulnerable children at risk because of it! Because he wont have it that that is the case!!

OP posts:
ScarahStratton · 16/10/2012 00:56

You'll never get a peaceful discussion on vaccination. People here have seen children die from diseases they should no longer be catching, they remember friends dying as children.

And like me, there are people sitting nursing their sick children who are ill because there were not enough people vaccinating to create herd immunity because of scaremongers. I have a 15 year old daughter who has been ill with Whooping Cough since the start of August. She is still too ill to go back to school, she has missed the whole of this half term, when she should be studying hard for her GCSEs. Instead she is lying in bed, either sleeping or coughing her guts out. She has been like that for THREE months. She has gone from a fit, healthy child to a weak, listless skeletal child with no energy, and no interest in life.

So don't go wittering about wanting a discussion with 'grown ups', because some of us grown ups are actually having to cope with the fall out created by cunts like your DH and his idiot friends.

Original poster
mothermars · 16/10/2012 00:59

JustSpidero You have managed to say much of what I wanted to but can't project at this time of night! :-)

OP posts:
EchoBitch · 16/10/2012 00:59

If his opinions are so entrenched that he won't listen to anyone else then you can only make the decision yourself and live with the consequences.

That attitude is dangerous.

Risk them becoming ill with measles and the possible complications or have it done anyway.

You say you think they should have it done so go ahead and have it done.

EchoBitch · 16/10/2012 01:01

I had no idea that whooping cough was still around,i really thought it was almost gone.Sad

JustSpidero · 16/10/2012 01:02

Is your DH's POV partially borne of the theory that 'we had it as kids and came out the other side' so there's no need for vaccination?

It sounds as though a lot of his objections are more political than medical?

ScarahStratton · 16/10/2012 01:03

No, there's a massive epidemic of it, partly because the vaccination wears off after 10 years or so, and partly because the lack of uptake meant that herd immunity was no longer a protection. Just like measles is back again.

It is truly awful, I had no idea how awful until DD2, then I, then DD1 caught it. :(

MakeItALarge · 16/10/2012 01:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JustSpidero · 16/10/2012 01:06

Scarah - was your DD not vaccinated against whooping cough, or did it not work?

It is bloody horrible & terrifying - my mum refused the vaccine for me back in the mists of time when it was thought to cause brain damage and I had it when I was about 7, complete with collapsed lung.

JustSpidero · 16/10/2012 01:07

x-post Scarah - didn't know it wore off. Another thing the powers that be should make people more aware of.

Original poster
mothermars · 16/10/2012 01:07

ScarahStratton - Again, I am really sorry to hear that. But, so many people are going through terrible situations. Am I not able to post my problem in fear that I'll enrage someone going through something far worse than me?

My friend has a young child with terminal cancer. I wouldn't dream of discussing my (in comparison) very minor issue. But on mumsnet, surely I should feel free to do so with out the backlash and name calling of my DH (whom you do not know personally)

Yes I want a conversation with 'grown ups' on my moral dilemma. Not whether vaccinations are a good thing or not!

OP posts:
ScarahStratton · 16/10/2012 01:08

Yes she was vaccinated, but the vaccination starts to wear off after 10 or so years. She is too old to have got the pre-school booster that is now given, as is DD1.

I had my vaccination, but like the DDs it has worn off. DD1 and I were lucky, we got ABs when DD2 was diagnosed, so we got it more mildly. The DDs and I are all asthmatic, and we have all been very ill, but DD2 has been really ill with it.

Original poster
mothermars · 16/10/2012 01:09

JustSpidero - tbh, it's a combo of both! swaying more towards political I guess!

OP posts:
Original poster
mothermars · 16/10/2012 01:11

MakeItALarge - As I'm sure you're aware, he is the minority in his way of thinking, so family opinion is on my side. But, he is ever so stubborn...

OP posts:
EchoBitch · 16/10/2012 01:12

If he is so intractable in his opinion,why are you asking,you know already what you want for your DC and have gone against his wishes before,why is this time any different?

ScarahStratton · 16/10/2012 01:12

If your DH is so bloody minded that he refuses to have a rational conversation with a HCP, then imo his wishes are irrelevant and should be overruled.

Nothing should prevent you from getting the very best healthcare you can for your children. You already know you want to vaccinate because you are willing to have single vaccinations. So go ahead and do it.

And I'll call your DH whatever I like. IMO he is exactly what I called him, and I am allowed to have that opinion. You are hearing other peoples' situations because they (and I) are trying to get you to see that you should do this.

EchoBitch · 16/10/2012 01:16

I wouldn't have a clue what any of the ingredients are btw,because i'm not a research doctor.
But i don't believe they're all out to kill our DC because the drug companies make money from them.

MakeItALarge · 16/10/2012 01:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JustSpidero · 16/10/2012 01:19

I have mixed feelings about vaccinations myself - albeit more from the point of view that I think NHS HCP's should be able to inform and advise on other options should people wish to pay for them privately than any definite pro/con re the vaccinations themselves. As things stand I can't help but feel it is all a bit 'Big Brother' which makes me very uncomfortable.

That said, I don't think your DH's predominantly political views should colour medical decisions you need to make for and on behalf of your child.

The single jab strikes me as a reasonable compromise that your DH should be willing to take on board. Bear in mind though that there are different manufacturers of vaccines so ingredients may differ slightly when you are doing your research.

If push comes to shove - you over-ruled him on the last lot and he presumably got over it eventually, so I guess he would again?

JustSpidero · 16/10/2012 01:22

MakeItALarge great idea - that would be surefire winner in this house - if in doubt, get MIL on board, 'cos she is the one person DH won't argue with! Hmm Grin

Scarah - I hope you and your girls are back to full health soon. I was diagnosed with asthma about 18 months after the whooping cough and have always thought the 2 were related.

MrsTerryPratchett · 16/10/2012 01:29

I'd rather have the one size fits all Big Brother of the NHS than some of the alternatives.

ScarahStratton · 16/10/2012 01:30

It wouldn't surprise me Just, our asthma is awful atm, really out of control. :(

JustSpidero · 16/10/2012 01:32

Luckily I have more or less grown out of mine - still keep an inhaler just in case but it only comes out a couple of times a year these days if I'm very stressed or the pollen count is ridiculous.

Speaking of ridiculous - I need to be up at 7pm!

JustSpidero · 16/10/2012 01:32

...or even am!