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Original poster

wwyd...Measles Vacs

190 replies

mothermars · 15/10/2012 23:17

Hi
Not wishing to start a huge debate over vaccinations. But, I have a dilemma!

DH is anti vaccinations. Our DS is due his MMR and I have opted for the singles. I did his other routine jabs (against DH's wishes) and that caused friction like you wouldn't believe. But I felt that it was the right thing and that my DS life was more important than my DHs feelings on the matter.

However, I have concerns with the MMR (single or otherwise). My DH has done years of research, and he feels justified by his findings. He has little faith in our government and (long story short) believes it is meanly a money making scam etc. He said that the contents of the vaccines would shock me. He's also spouted much more 'evidence' that vaccinations potentially can do more harm then good. I've done my research too. And I think the only reason I'm doubting myself now, is because I don't have DHs backing, and to me, this is such a big deal, that I feel I am taking a gamble and I'm unsure what to do.

If two parents have strong views and both think they are right - where is the compromise? The middle ground? Who gets the final say? We usually unite in every other aspect.

I know the majority are pro vaccinations, and will say that I should have final say and do it. But bare in mind , that he truly believes that his research is more valid and less corrupted, so me saying "read x y and z" will not alter his opinion.

Has anyone been in this situation before and what did you do?

Also, does anyone know how I can get hold of the breakdown 'ingredients' in the single measles vacs?

Thank you..

OP posts:
ScarahStratton · 15/10/2012 23:54

His knowledge is flawed though. He doesn't have the qualifications, or the knowledge to enforce these decisions on you. He hasn't acquired any real knowledge, just jumbled together a load of bollocks from the internet. You can make any argument work if you google long enough, and that is what these crazies do.

EchoBitch · 15/10/2012 23:54

Not simply because of the vaccinations but because he thinks he knows better.

ScarahStratton · 15/10/2012 23:54

Also what Echo said. He does sound like a whackjob.

JustSpidero · 15/10/2012 23:56

YANBU - you are willing to compromise by having single vaccinations - your DH should be willing to meet you halfway.

How was your DS with regard to reactions with his other jabs?

I always gave my DD a dose of Calpol an hour before and 3 hours after. She had no reaction to the 'tiny baby' jabs. We went for single jabs for MMR and the only one she reacted to was mumps - about 48 hours after the jab we had a day or so of her being hot, off her food and grumpy.

I don't know that there is any evidence to suggest that lack of reaction to one vaccine will make reaction to another less likely, but it might be worth thinking about.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 15/10/2012 23:56

Is he extremely anti the single MMRs too?

ScarahStratton · 15/10/2012 23:57

What else does he believe in?

EchoBitch · 15/10/2012 23:59

I think vaccinations such as MMR should be compulsory.

Is it true that hospitals now can overrule parents who are anti blood transfusions?

Original poster
mothermars · 15/10/2012 23:59

Echo Bitch - Yes I have posted on three seperate threads as I wanted a quick response and thought I'sd stand a better chance doing so!

My DH may very well be 'deluded' but his research still contains case studies and documents from retired doctors and professionals and so on (google or otherwise). Who's to say that this is any less BS than what we are 'fed' through mainstream media? I'm not saying I agree, but he clearly feels that his information has less to gain.

OP posts:
UnimaginitiveDadThemedUsername · 16/10/2012 00:03

OP - just get the vaccinations done and don't tell your husband.

And don't bother farting around with single vaccines. There isn't a shred of proof backing up the suggestion that three separate vaccines are any safer than the 3-in-1.

Your husband is acting like people who are terrified of flying yet think nothing of driving 30,000+ miles per year - the former is statistically far, far safer than the latter. I could say some other things about him, but we'll leave it at that.

Don't let his 'research' endanger your children.

Tincletoes · 16/10/2012 00:03

Come on then, let's hear some of these arguments - and the names of the professionals who support them / have written the papers. I'm sure we could come up with some responses pretty quickly...

ScarahStratton · 16/10/2012 00:03

It's your choice. Listen to your unqualified 'woo' DH's and discredited scientists/doctors' bollocks, or get your child vaccinated. We can't make that decision for you, but I know what I would do.

I agree Echo, they should be compulsory. Not vaccinating is incredibly selfish and irresponsible.

EchoBitch · 16/10/2012 00:05

But is he a doctor?

What are his qualifications?

Why does he think he knows best?

Not vaccinating your DC puts other children at risk.

MrsTerryPratchett · 16/10/2012 00:06

I had a client I worked with beg me to look at some interweb nonsense before getting DD her jabs. She said, "this man is a doctor and he says some important things". Doctor, my arse, he's a chiropractor. But, because he calls himself Dr. Surname, people believe him.

I would like to know why the interweb thinks people are out to poison our children. I get why homeopathy people give us sugar pills and water to get our money but why would we be given mercury and formaldehyde just to get us to give them money? Unless he thinks all HCPs are psychos.

Original poster
mothermars · 16/10/2012 00:07

Very mature guys! Call my DH a whackjob - helpful? I think not. I won't waste energy justifying why he is not a 'whackjob' because you are being childish.

My point was

Who gets the final say when you BOTH think you are RIGHT
and - who know what is actually in the vaccine...

OP posts:
LilQueenie · 16/10/2012 00:08

I wouldnt go behind his back as it is his dc's too. I believe the nhs vac website does list ingredients and tbh yes there is money to be made in lots of medicines.

ScarahStratton · 16/10/2012 00:11

I'm childish because I call your whackjob DH a whackjob. At least I'm responsible enough to ensure my DC's health are the priority, not the ramblings of some deluded fool on the internet.

Yep, I'm the childish one.

I would go behind his back like a shot, it's an absolute no brainer to me. Try googling measles, and watch a Youtube video of a child dying from it.

EchoBitch · 16/10/2012 00:11

You're right...please don't waste time explaining why he isn't a whackjob.

Please explain why he thinks he knows better than people who have done legitimate research.

When you both think you are right about your childrens health you go with the medically proven advice.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 16/10/2012 00:14

This thread has gone stupid Hmm

Mothermars, there may well be a compromise somewhere, but you haven't mentioned what your options are. Is it just as simple as pro or anti vaccination, or do you know if you have a good option for single vaccines?

ScarahStratton · 16/10/2012 00:15

What an utterly pointless thread. All it's doing is drawing attention to the scaremongering bullshit that some idiots peddle.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 16/10/2012 00:15

Sarah and Echo, you are being horrible, and not at all helpful.

Original poster
mothermars · 16/10/2012 00:16

Scarah and Echo -quite a class act! Thing is, I'm posting this because I am conflicted and because I have morals. Tell me, how would you feel if your Dh/P's went behind your backs because they truly believed that they were doing the best for your dc's, but you were dead against if for your reasons? You never know what situations you may find yourselves in in the future...

OP posts:
UnimaginitiveDadThemedUsername · 16/10/2012 00:17

LilQueenie

I wouldnt go behind his back as it is his dc's too.

That's a shit argument. Would you say it's alright for dads to come home pissed from the pub and beat their kids because "...it's his DCs too..."?

MrMars and his bonkers internet conspiracy theories are actively putting his own children at risk, and MrsMars is complicit in enabling him. Just as any decent mother should remove her children from a father who beats them, she should crush the chances of his bonkers theories from potentially crippling or killing his own children.

Can't believe people still think like this in the 21st century. I'm off to bed.

Original poster
mothermars · 16/10/2012 00:18

Outraged - I have the clinic lined up and the vaccinations are there (it's a walk in). I'm just anxious about the whole thing now.

OP posts:
LilQueenie · 16/10/2012 00:19

or go to gsk.com for some info. I saw another one that listed ingredients in the US. An official thing not some random google. I'll try find it.

EchoBitch · 16/10/2012 00:19

When you both think you are right about your childrens health you go with the medically proven advice.

Why is this horrible and unhelpful?