The Sergeant John Porter Memorial College at the University of Milton North

[DumSpiroSpero]

Motto: Qui audet adipiscitur

Areas of study include:

Firearms Training aka Big Guns 101

Advanced off-road driving

Improvised Vehicle Maintenance

Hostage Negotiation

...and lots more!

Morning...

Trust me to miss Love Game - although I have a constant reminder as it's set as my ringtone (fine until it goes off in the office 3x in one afternoon like it did on Tuesday ).

Massive I thought exactly the same as you re LHC apnd guess what it's lined with? Concrete - dead exciting n'est ce pas?

::yawns widely in a very unladylike manner::

2 out of 3 offspring in my bed makes for a very fidgety night.

Concrete?

::winces at the thought of concrete lined knickers::

Maybe we'll have to move the Academy to Switzerland and watch the vids inside the tunnel - at least certain parts of my anatomy wouldn't make it as far as Deep Space 9 then.

Concrete makes sense - they used it to line the nuclear bomb shelters, after all.

However I prefer to err on the safe side, to prevent nasty accidents. May I present to you my wonderful new invention, ladiez?

NEUTRONIUM KNICKERS

Spanx, eat your heart out!

And while on the subject of nether quarters, like the fat lady, I am all behind. I must Get On.

Morning all, Maud apologies for missing your party, I was refused entry by Mr Small the doorman. I have come bearing this the song title reminds me less of Marion and more of you lot .

Ah, but were we ever good, zat is zee question. We missed you Small, but on the bright side, there was more Thornton-y goodness to go around

well I don't know about you Massive

ooh did you have chocolates last night then?

No chocolates, no. But we did get to trip the light fantastic with a TDHBECMO

I love the fact that whenever Spooks is mentioned it is, without fail, accompanied by a shot of Lucas. Never mind the fact he only did 3 series and Harry has been in it from the start, poor Harry either doesn't get a look in or is hidden behind Lucas .

Not that I'm complaining, it just makes me chuckle!

Hello everyone, looks like you had fun last night! Hope you enjoyed your party, Maud.

Wish I'd been around so that when mention was made of Guy checking in his big sword, I could've made a rude witty remark about Massive checking out his sword. Ho hum.

I had a lovely morning :) Just me, the duvet and a certain gentleman Man, I'd forgotten how exciting S7 was!

A touch Mr Thornton here, do you think?

It's always that photo though, LadyD and it's not one of his best [fussy]

Massive, do the Neutronium Knickers have the same suck-in-all-the-wobbly-bits-from-your-bust-to-your-knees effect that Spanx have?

It's a bit....harsh, isn't it? Too scowly.

It's ironic about the Lucas shots,I agree, LadyD. Why not pics of Mr Potato Face, for instance? I guess the Beeb knows when they were onto a good thing.

We missed you too, Twiggers. There was no room in my dress to carry my tin of Duraglit however, so I could not have been checking out any big swords.

I'm still behind, btw. Got the swollen eyes thing again, too

Ah LadyD, for that safely gathered in effect, you have to go for the Neutronium-SFX variety, incorporating supermassive black hole technology to suck it all in.

Mind you, if you should ever need to take them off, you are screwed.

Am I missing something? When I click on that link I get a photo of Harry and Ruth not Lucas

that's because they changed it since LadyD posted it, Small!

Lurkers, was it one of you that pointed out what we were saying, to them? If so, shame on you!

Weird!

Twigs, are you panicking about birthdays? I have not organised anything except a bouncy castle and it looks like rain!

I'm fine about birthday because we aren't having a party . We are taking him out for the afternoon and then just having a tea party here. Is SBMinor having friends round then?

we have to have a party or family sulk. This year he is also having a mini friends party, only a handful but still I have no contingency plan for bad weather .

We are having immediate family round but it won't be a big deal - just party food, then a quick game of pass the parcel and we're done. Parties with friends at home TERRIFY me so I'm waiting until he goes to school properly before we have those :) The best party we ever did for MissTwigs was when I hired a hall and an entertainer a few years ago. It was £silly but I absolutely detest having to play party games host (hate being centre of attention) and as a result ended up dreading all her birthdays which made me sad so I decided to pay someone else to do it for me and it was brilliant*. Would do that every year if we could afford it!

• Speaking of pass-the-parcel, one of my favourite ever Academy quotes was when Spiro posted a pic of JP (think it was one of these) and said he looked like a particularly sexy game of pass the parcel :o

Was it JP Twigs? I though it was Season Three Gizzy.

Works for me either way!

I have got 10 little girls descending on me from 4pm-6pm next Tuesday. We're having a Rainbow Magic Birthday Fairy Treasure Hunt, stick the wand on Belle the Birthday Fairy, Pass the Parcel, party food and dancing.

I love 'at home' parties - never do it any other way, but then I am an exhibitionist/control freak/glutton for punishment - delete as appropriate.

Need to do a few bits. Am buying all the food instead of going the DIY route this year, but making the cake, God help me!

Well I did actually wonder if it was Gizzy for a moment but I then convinced myself it was JP.

I bet you are a brilliant party host, Spiro. I'm just hopeless at anything like that. It was all I could do to walk down the aisle at our wedding!

I have my moments, although until this year I've always had DD's godmother and her daughter come and help me out. Her DD is 17 and she's always done at home parties so is absolutely brilliant, but she works full time so it's just me and Mr S next week - eek!!!