I'm a single mum of 7. AMA!

[WorldCupSadness]

Scared 😅

An abusive childhood

Benefits isnt great

She's doing fine with benefits it seems, enough to save plenty and work part time and study to be a lawyer?

How do you manage to do this with 7 children, including a baby, and studying for a law degree? I know you have a cleaner, do you have childcare, someone to do shopping, laundry and cooking, or do the older children tend to do this?

Why are you giving your kids an abusive childhood then?

They help if they want to, or for money.

I honestly don't know how I manage. I'm just motivated x

Hi OP I think you are brave! I do think you are an easy target though because having a large family is so visible. You are probably harming the planet less than say, a 2 child family with 2 SUVs who go on regular holidays abroad. Not saying I agree with your life choices but you are hopefully raising a new generation of productive citizens so good luck to you!

I was from a big family. I did get resentful about how much housework I had to do.
I'm sorry to hear that your own childhood was so abusive, and that you've had at least one abusive partner.
Are you having counselling for this?

On and off x

Maybe she keeps having babies to keep the taxpayers' money flowing into their idyllic home. Once the older ones grow up, that stream of cash starts to dry up.

And what would rather she did? worked in a minimum wage job? Isn't this a good thing, that benefits are enabling her to study? To go into a better paid job? Ultimately to pay more taxes?

The older three don't need childcare anymore. The others go to after school club and the baby will go to nursery (already put his name down and paid the deposit). The children also attend school in the day time. If you haven't heard of these options, that's a little worrying...

Yep, I'm sure why she does it.

Given she's already spoken about her abusive childhood and the fact she's had/having counselling, I'm pretty sure there would be other reasons why she's in this situation.

And fwiw, I'm happy for my portion of taxes to fund her and her children.

Is that funny?

Yes, hilarious.

I had 4 and looking back they probably missed out on a lot . Do you give them individual attention ? (which is more important than material things imo . )

What's so funny? I value education, books, ambition, manners and motivation, and I work hard to instill this into my children. But you wouldn't understand because you can't see past your own judgement

How do you have time to read to all your children?

I judge you yes.

Because I go to bed at the same time as them and we all read together on my bed 🤣

I believe that I do, yes. But it's not easy of course

remember she will get free days out and free school meals too

I am one of 8, my life was your DCs life many years ago.

My DM looked after us, fed us, clothed us, kept a roof over our heads. Didn’t abuse us. Worked sometimes but mainly we lived on benefits. Obviously we did not know that all families didn’t live on benefits, I guess your children do know. Maybe not DC are quite oblivious to these things, it’s called childhood.

Only one of my siblings is on benefits, she has MH issues.

My DM just wasn’t able to give us the upbringing that might have been possible had she made different decisions.

Two of my sisters are NC with her, 3 of my sisters are also NC with each. One is no longer with us.

We all have 1 or 2 children each. Growing up in a large family with multiple dads has its consequences.

We all consider ourselves siblings, the fact that we have different fathers is not an issue at all, we all grew up together in the same household. We do look out for each other, those in contact. We have never been the issue. Our DMs decisions have though.

@WorldCupSadness How do you see your DCs experience of being 1 of 7, with different dads? How do they feel about it?