I'm a single mum of 7. AMA!

[WorldCupSadness]

Scared 😅

What's a typical weekday and a typical weekend like for you and your kids, OP?

@Support12
Almost exactly what I just said.
I am very proud of finding the courage to leave my controlling marriage, knowing that my ex would "punish" me for that decision.
It takes strength and I admire any fellow woman that makes the leap. Good for you and I hope you find the happiness you deserve ❤️

The op does pay tax and will likely pay a lot more in the future.

Why do people think this isn’t real, there’s a mum at my kids school that has 7 kids to I think 3 different dads. She’s a single parent and they have different dads (can see by looking as the children are different races and she has mentioned 3 different dads but could be more)

Have you heard of birth control

Would all the OP-bashers and benefits-bashers please just go away? Your nasty posts are repetitive, have taken up most of this thread and have stopped the rest of us finding out what life is actually like for the OP and her kids.

OP, I hope you’re still here. I’d like to know what a typical day in your household is like for all of you, both in term-time and during the school holidays

Yes - and calling the op "smug" and "boasting", when all she has done is state plain facts about her life. She has been remarkably honest but isn't flaunting.

I wish her and her family well and have a feeling they will all do extremely well and contribute to society in the future. It doesn't bother me that my bit of income tax contributes to her household, it's not forever - and let's face it, if she didn't exist we wouldn't notice any difference in our finances.

I just wanted to jump on the thread to send you my support OP. I think you're incredible, a survivor and someone who strives to get qualifications and provide a better life for your family. If you take away the childcare element we aren't on that much less than you with a similar mortgage and only 1 child and we still have to budget, people thinking you're on shitloads supporting a family of 8 are fucking bonkers.

I agree with a PP that someone living off generational wealth wouldn't be judged half as harshly, and noone plans to have successive abusive relationships! Bloody pit of vipers, their judgement of your situation disgusts me, especially if they've read your replies.

Well done OP, hold your head up high, and best of luck to your oldest going to uni, they've obviously been inspired by their wonderful Mum. Xx

Good luck on your own studies and training too, I don't know much about your field but it sounds incredibly difficult but rewarding if you truly believe in it as a vocation for achieving justice. Xx

I have no questions, but I'm wishing you are well and truly off men. You a d your children have had a horrendous life so far.
I hope you're all receiving some mental health and emotional support as well; and you can be a good and present parent for the younger ones.

Look, I don't know your story, and I'm not sure why my opinion matters here.

I'm also not saying people should remain in abusive relationships, but my point has all along been that too many children are born as a result of their parents reckless, bad, selfish choices. Or because red flags ignored.

@Cheeseandolivesplease I am guessing you are not UK based. Have a read into the gender pay gap, a very prominent and important issue.

The whole thing is clearly a wind up lol. My guess is OP wrote this in a moment of boredom and is sitting behind a laptop with a glass of wine giggling at all the posters frothing at the mouth at his/her goady posts. I think they overdid it a bit with the replies about having plenty of savings and employing the cleaner😭

Why are these two the only options? Stay in an abusive relationship or become a single parent. These abusive relationships seem to have become such a norm now that we, as a society, really need to ask why...

I'm not bothered in the slightest about the financial burden to the tax payer, despite being a high rate one. We waste billions on far less important stuff than feeding and housing children who have no choice in being born.

I do think though, 7 kids, the older of which has had 3 'stepfathers', at least the last 2 of which have been abusive, shows a pattern of an extremely irresponsible and selfish parenting where romantic relationships have been more important that your children's wellbeing and welfare. None of these children have any of their 4 fathers or their father's families in their lives as positive contributions.

Your kids had no choice in all these men being in their life and your basic duty as a parent is to protect your children and keep them safe. Your 2nd abusive relationship involved rape and you have teenage daughters. I dread to think what your son and older daughters have been exposed to.

Sorry but having gone through similar myself growing up with 7 siblings from 3 absent fathers with domestic violence, poverty, neglect and abuse (some of which she didn't notice despite it taking place under her roof). She cut contact with each father's family as well so no grandparents, aunts, cousins, etc. I always idolised and defended my mother as this amazing woman who worked so hard (unemployed) to raise so many kids, until I had my own kids and the scales fell from my eyes.

Have you thought about family therapy?

Nails it right here. It’s just fact.

The fact you brought these abusive men into your children’s lives (and so many daughters) is the shocking part to me. Given you don’t have much free time, you clearly had these abusive men around your children from day 1. Do you not feel guilty about that? I have stayed single and my DD is 18 now as I wouldn’t be bringing a man into her home.

No fuck that, women sacrifice their careers either by design or by force when they have children so men may make more fiscal tax contributions on paper but women facilitate it with their unpaid labour!

Do the children who have the same dad's look more alike than their othr siblings?

How much do you spend on the weekly food shop?

Do you ever wish you had less children?

Do people make stupid comments about you having lots of children and if so what was the stupidest?

I dont like hearing stories of people having multiple upon multiple kids and the state (us tax payers) picking up the majority of the tab.

But you working 21 hours a week with 7 kids as a single mum, especially with some being so young, most in your situation wouldn't do that. You studying on top of that for a hopefully promising career, again, most in your situation wouldn't do that.

Hope you all the best OP and that you get a great career at the end of your studies

That’s shocking. How do they expect kids to change the trajectory of their early lives without the same support that children from wealthier families get?

This is insane. Without benefits, OP would need to earn well over £100K per year to net £6000 per month.

Quite, OP must barely be paying any tax if she only earns £1,000 per month net. She clearly receives several times that in benefits.

OP. You make me feel like a lazy under achiever!! 😁

That is a fair amount coming in each month, but the outgoings must be horrendous - I don't need to know. The best part of £1,500 is Landlord Benefit though.

I think that you are a star having and coping with seven kids. Ignore the negativity on here. We need bigger families so that the offspring can go out to work and pay the pensions of the moaners, and a few of those moaners will end up in care homes with young people wiping their bums for them, and spoon feeding them their meals.

What's even more insane are the comments praising OP. Even if you don't genuinely care about the benefits what a way to bring up children - a succession of loser men in their lives.

Forgot to quote.