I've been asking myself this a lot recently. I think its a mix of culture and that it's all I ever knew. I think as I've been housekeeping and raising children my whole life, I've had more capacity than the average person, I was literally trained up.
My children each have their own bedrooms and I'm passionate about their education and extra curriculars. We have foreign holidays, they attend grammer schools, they literally don't want for anything. My husband was raised in a loving family and was also one of five children. He tells me regularly that I need to take a step back and let my children struggle so they will learn for themselves, I really struggle and find I micro manage out of fear they will grow up in the utter chaos I did.
A previous poster said who cares if the OP house is clean- her kids will care. I carried so much shame and always lived in fear that someone would turn up to my childhood home unannounced because of the dirt and mess. I realised yesterday, when I was buying more bedding that I didn't need, that it was because I grew up sleeping in dirty, smelly beds.
I think I'm hyper vigilant when it comes to family life and raising my children, as I'm accutely aware of the damage that is done to a child when their needs are not met.
Reading this thread has been quite triggering and uncomfortable. People always want to know about the size of your house, what car you drive, what holidays you take, wether you read to your children each night, how often you change their beds, if your house is clean, etc etc. And it doesn't matter that I have all the right answers and the fact that my five children are no less disadvantaged than their peers, people judge. I don't like it, but I understand why. I judge myself!