I'm a single mum of 7. AMA!

[WorldCupSadness]

Scared 😅

Cleaner has a business and pays taxes. Money goes back into the country. The royal family can buy and decorate their private homes on your pound. They won’t be paying the local trade person either.

My point was that benefits are for necessities, not ‘wants’ or luxuries. I would say a cleaner is a luxury, which most people not on benefits can’t afford. If benefits are at an amount that enables luxuries to be paid for, then it’s wrong on every level..

@WorldCupSadness do you recommend us all to have lots of kids and live off benefits? Is it the way forward- are us working folk a little crazy doing what we do?

If it isn't a wind-up, I think she just never saw it from that angle. She's probably been daily fire-fighting at a much more practical level and just didn't step back to get that awareness.

I can understand the frustration, but comments people are making such as saying her dc's MH is not a priority are pretty brutal. She has stayed with them and isn't an absent parent at least.

ETA she probably expected thread to be asking for tips to get poo stains out of onesies or something.

I think you are doing jolly well.

I am shocked to discover that this OP gets more in the way of income than both my DH and I do working ft!!!
We had the one child and then husband had a vasectomy as could not have afforded any more (without needing government support).

She has already stated she works.
Does it make you feel superior to judge a woman who has escaped domestic abuse? Would it have been better in your opinion if she stayed with the abusive man so his wage paid for her and the children?
And before you say "she shouldn't have had children with him" be aware of the statistics for the first incidents of abuse happening during pregnancy.

To be fair you can spend benefits on whatever you want. Even those on benefits are entitled to something more than existing.

Sometimes life doesn’t work out how you envisaged. I have 4 DC, I claimed TC and then UC, I worked out how much I needed to earn NOT to be able to claim and have worked hard to get there. I’m a higher tax payer now and very relieved to have got there. UC payment aren’t the same as a wage, you don’t have the same sense of respect for yourself, you don’t get a portion paid towards your pension and you don’t get to begin to build an inheritance for your DC (I’m aware not everyone wants to but I did). Without support from society and my amazing parents (who not everyone is so lucky to have) I don’t like to think where me and my DC would be. Just because someone’s a single mum claiming UC doesn’t mean you have the full picture of who they are.

@IndigoBluey Why are "predominantly males" taxpayers?

There's no doubt that you have a lot on your hands with 7 kids. I don't personally see the issue with big families, I admire those who have one.

But, it's the 4 different fathers that's hard not to...wonder about and, yes, judge. The amount of different fathers show that you have a consistent pattern of making bad choices when it comes to men - and within a relatively short period of time according to the information in your posts. Which, yes, tells most people that you jump from man to man and aren't careful about who you have kids with. And it indicates that you introduce your kids to too many different men, too quickly. I'm sorry, but that's hard not to judge...I just feel bad for your children, really. It's always messy with half and step sibling relationships in more ways than one.

I don't understand your laughing emojis when you respond to posts, and joke about "not wanting the man, just the baby". It actually seems to be an accurate reflection of your true attitude towards parenthood: you don't see the severity of having so many different fathers to your children. In the end, yeah, you got your babies, but your 7 children are robbed off a normal nuclear family setup. Congratulations. As long as you got what you wanted.

I'm sorry if I sound harsh, I'm just so, so sad for all the children that can't have a life with their biological parents and siblings just because the parents keep making bad selfish choices. Enough is enough with all of these broken and blended "families". They don't work.

Well she doesn't work at the moment as she's on maternity leave. She hasn't said what work she does.

Not sure what the point of this thread is other than the OP gloating about all the mugs out there working and paying tax to fund her lifestyle.

But are they? Benefits is to cover needs not wants. And if being on benefits allows you to afford to hire cleaners, then you can’t blame people not on benefits, unable to afford a cleaner, to feel resentful.

How did/do you find the free time/capacity to date/meet men if only two of your children see their dad?

I’m genuinely curious because I only have 2 kids who go to their dads EOW and I still don’t feel like I have capacity to date.

@LejlaKapovic
Would you judge me in the same way then? I left an abusive marriage - I had two young children.
Years later I went on to marry again and had a little girl with my now husband who didn't have any bio children. She is his first and definitely last. Very much adored by her two older siblings!
We receive nothing in the way of government support and we comfortably provide by both working hard.

I don't walk around judging people, but when they advertise for their bad behavioural patterns, I can't help but form an opinion. Especially when 7 innocent children are in the picture.

I'm not a fan of broken families, or siblings having different parents, but I understand life happens sometimes which results in this type of family setup. But it's not the ideal setup. At all.

I literally don't need a man for anything

Seven kids, plus you being on maternity leave at present says otherwise...

You also need the taxes of hardworking men (and women) to prop you up.

There are 35,000 applicants for 5000 training contracts per year. The vast majority in the city. I completed my GDL and LPC 20 years ago when I was 34 (cost me £20k even then) when there was 20,000 applications for nearly 7000 spaces (apparently the easiest time to qualify) and despite 50 applications got 2 interviews and no offers. That’s despite a 1st in my first degree, distinctions in the GDL and LPC and I was working in a regulatory role in an investment bank at the time. Plus no kids at the time so distraction free. Of my cohort I know just two who actually ended up working as lawyers.
The likelihood of you being able to afford to complete your training and then qualify I’m afraid are very very small. You’ll think I’m being negative but it’s just reality which is much needed when it’s a 40k and 7 year investment. Family law is probably most oversubscribed with the worst hours, most harrowing subjects and worst paid too. Most don’t last the course even when they qualify as it’s extraordinary hours and soul destroying.

55% of taxpayers are men and make up 70% of higher rate taxpayers. According to Gov.co.uk.

@earlyshirley Ah I see, thanks. I don't agree with it in principle, but I can see why it might be the current reality.

@LejlaKapovic
So do you think it would have been best for my sons if I'd have stayed with their abusive father, so the nuclear family remained intact?
My nuclear family was absolutely "broken" by a controller - my home now anything but.

What?

So four men, one of whom is still around in a supervised capacity only. Your taste in men is beyond comprehension, any idea why?

My family was far more broken whilst I tried to stay with my DCs abusive dad hoping things would improve than once we separated. A single parent family isn't broken, a family with an abusive man in it is.

what are the statistics based on? Because during the 70s 42% of people lived in council housing, so all those dc who grew up in council housing never went to work?

I grew up in council housing alongside most of my friends. Nobody was on benefits though, and we all grew up seeing our parents work. So I'm not sure what you mean by this.