I'm a single mum of 7. AMA!

[WorldCupSadness]

Scared 😅

The OP is working & studying & her eldest is off to university so to me that doesn’t scream benefit claimants for life. I think Google may back me up!

Who doesn't run around after lazy posters?

Yes that's me 👍

So if we encourage people to have more children or encourage people to move here to work and live, we will end up with an ever increasing aging population and using up more and more resources. So what happens then?

I haven’t read all the comments, but you are a superwoman! I’m sorry about the way (at least one of) the fathers treated you 💐 good luck with the law x

PS raising children is work that SHOULD be paid for imo. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. Children are a benefit to our society.

I think it’s probably galling when so many are working hard, and planning their kids based on what they can afford. I earn £60k and bring home £650 less a month than OP gets in UC. On the face of it, it is a bit frustrating!

That said, having done a law degree, I absolutely commend her for getting out there and doing it with 7 kids. At least the benefits are going to someone with a bit of get up and go, who is making an effort to better her life and set a good example for her kids, so that they may also make positive choices. There are plenty of far less worthy recipients I’m sure.

ps OP, law isn’t as vulnerable to AI as people would have you think. There are certain firms that will probably struggle with it, depending on various job roles and headcounts, but in most firm it’s a tool to enhance efficiency, increase capacity and ultimately bill more.

How do you manage during school holidays if you’re working?

Do you think AI will replace barristers? How would that work? Or solicitors?

So we are all helping to support you and your children. I would have quite liked a larger family but knew I could not afford it.

You are thinking of the issues at a very insular, UK-centric level.

My friend has 4 kids by 4 dads. The impact on the eldest has been immense although the eldest often masks it. How have your older children coped with the upheaval and inconsistency from all your different relationships and constant new babies? Is there a reason you don’t consider the impact on them each time you have a new relationship and baby?

How does the bedroom allocation work in a 4 bed house, given the oldest ( 17 ) is a boy and the rest except the baby are girls?
Has he got his own room meaning the 5 girls share 2 rooms?

Financially, she didn't do it on her own.

The state is paying.

She filled in the right forms. Gave the right answers to the right people and worked out how to survive the system.

There are other SP out there working and on incomes of £132k who will have less disposable income than the OPs family. They will be working more hours. Have less 1-2-1 time with their children. I doubt many of those will have 7 children because the state doesn't support those families. Because the state thinks they don't need support. And the state would rather tax this group more so that families like the OPs can be supported.

It's irksome though when financial responsibility is punished so that those who made other choices are supported.

The person on £132k per year would pay around £4200 per month in tax and NI. Someone warning £14k per year pays £33 per month in tax and NI.

Just what this overcrowded planet needs, a feckless mother of 7.

Doesn’t come across as feckless to me!

Nothing wrong with having large family's. My aunt had 6 kids and used to help out looking after us (3) before school too. The difference was she didn't have benefits, she worked and husband worked. I know op was previously married so didn't intend on being single mum. She is at least working and doing a law course so in future she can work full time. Having a lot of kids is unusual in this day but it's sad really as in the older days it was normal. My grandad was one of nine. Society is different now in those days the kids would have to chip in and help with house work, cooking, childcare it would be a collective and no flashy cars or lifestyle but people got on OK without the need for benefits so something has gone drastically wrong that most of us struggle with having 2 kids and paying mortgage.

This is exactly the kind of thing an anxious person might do. Fawning is a well known anxiety response.

Be careful what you say. You might need her services as a defence barrister one day. You never know.

Sorry yes, @Calliopespa I didn't phrase that well. The inferred judgements in my post like not 'just' a SAHM were all trying to refer to exactly the kind of judgements I was talking about in the PPs - saying she should 'get a full time job', being a 'benefit cycle family'. I was trying to point out the logic of judging her on those things didn't work but I didn't do it very well! (That'll teach me to try to multi-task). Personally I would be in awe of anyone who could be a SAHM to 7 but lots of PPs were saying she should work part time.
Also I'm not claiming I don't ever judge (anyone who says they don't is a saint or lying) - but not about a mum juggling however she manages it!

How many bedrooms do you have in your home?
How do you manage child care around work?

Yes because it would be paid for by family wealth not funded to the tune of 4k a month by the tax payer.

Why don't you get a full time job OP?

Well big kudos for seeing a point and not digging yourself deeper! That doesn't happen that often on here.

I agree there is lots of judgment, but also agree we do all judge. It's hard to think about things without a bit of judgment creeping in. But you are right to pause people in their stride.

She’s said already it’s 4 bedrooms,
Her eldest is a boy and all the rest are girls except the baby.
So I asked who sleeps where as I can’t see this being fair to a teenage boy to share with a sister but equally having his own room is really unfair on the girls

With regards to steralisation she is too young. The NHS won't want to do it unless there is risk to her life when being pregnant. My cousin had 4 children and asked to be and they refused, said she was too young even though she was adamant she had had enough children and didn't want any more she was 37 too. Strange that women can get abortions on a whim, my body my choice and all that but they refuse steralisation to a woman who wants one and has thought it through thoroughly. It's easier or rather cheaper to murder an unwanted baby apparently.

Maybe, just maybe, not all pregnancies are planned or a choice.

Also I don’t think she has 7 different fathers to her children. Although I couldn’t give a shit about that myself