I was in prison in my early twenties, AMA

[Lexibletheflexible]

I was in prison about 18 years ago, between the ages of 19-22. I now volunteer with charities supporting female prisoners. AMA

but surely it’s partly a successful business because OP is putting in these hours?

It does indeed work in conjunction. Some of my cleaning clients were people who initially sought the services of our wider business and vice versa. It's kind of like having a venue that people can use for weddings and the like, but also having a resident cake making business for the same sort of events.

I’m from a ‘bottom of the WC’ background. Every woman I knew in my childhood, including my mother, who had five children, worked to put food on the table. I still think that having a child as a result of an unplanned pregnancy with a brand-new boyfriend just after leaving prison is a terrible idea.

I’m not talking about him supporting you financially or leaving you, or you being more ‘resilient’ than a MC recent graduate of the same age. I’m talking about having a baby with the type of man who is careless enough to impregnate a newly-released prisoner he’s only just started seeing! That’s not someone whose judgement I’d trust. And you can’t possibly have known he was ‘committed’ when you chose to go ahead with the pregnancy if you gave birth 11 months after you were released!

Ah we were both young. He was already earning well legitimately and obviously thought he could keep me out of trouble. He did. If I fucked up, he'd have just got resident parent status through the courts. Me being pregnant and then mostly at home when our son was first born meant that I could do the admin side of growing the business he started alongside his full-time work. Worked out great for us because we both saw that the light was at the end of a very short tunnel.

And that doesn’t frighten you? That if you ‘fucked up’, the kind of man who impregnates an obviously vulnerable young woman who just got out of prison after a three-year sentence for firearms possession would have got legal custody of your baby?

I mean, there are a lot of women who haven’t been incarcerated since their teens who would have been available to him to date. Why would someone choose to get in contact and start visiting a woman in prison and then get her pregnant within two months of her release if he wasn’t invested in choosing someone unusually vulnerable/at a disadvantage? In the abstract, those don’t sound like the actions of someone trustworthy.

3 years for what you’ve described? That can’t just be exemplary sentencing at work.

So, did you have a previous criminal record before this conviction? If so, what were those crimes?

Well, no. It's the fact that I know that he would step up if HE thought I wasn't good enough that assured me he was the type of man to have kids with. Lots of men would let their children be raised by grandparents or even in care before they took on that responsibility. I've always known that he would be perfectly willing and capable to be a single full time parent if he felt it was best for the kids. He wouldn't even have to be in a position where he had no other choice.

It's a good thing to know about a man before you have kids with him.

He is a hard worker and a slow spender, and he came to know that I am, too. That was something he looked for in a woman and he found it pretty early on with me. We always got on well anyway though we didn't know each other super well.

No. I got 5 years.

How come you moved out of your family home so young and roped mum in to fibbing about kicking you out?

Yes threaten to take your kids into care if you didn’t cooperate .

Wanted to be independent. Nothing more to it than that. Parents didnt like us using the house like a "fucking hotel and knockin' shop".

How old were you when you got the council property (that in itself was a crime - your parents lying to say they wouldn’t house you)

Oh there are far worse crimes. I have zero guilt about that. 17 when I got temp. 18 when I got permanent.

Why doesn’t that surprise me 😆

Given your mum was also prepared to lie in order for you to get council housing - I’m guessing the family generally might have had a pretty laissez faire approach to the law?

Yep. Id go as far as to say none of us give a shit about the law. We give a shit about our integrity and generally being a nice person. Given the law allowed husbands to rape their wives in my lifetime, that wont be the arbiter of right or wrong in my world

Bizarre

You were taking away a council house at 17 that could have housed a single mother who genuinely didn’t have anywhere else to live.

anyway, it’ll be like screaming in to the abyss

would you lie, like your mother, if your child came to you and said “oh no what mum, I fancy a bit of independence, could you lie to the council and say you won’t house me so I can get a council house?”

OMG

I have just seen on another thread you claim universal credit!!!!

Won't have to because my son could afford a deposit on rented accommodation and once he starts earning more, he could probably get a mortgage of some description.

But if we didn't have those means then yes I would.

I think it is more bizarre to follow rule that said your husbsnd can rape you not so long ago. YMMV.

I dont claim UC! How would I?

If he just said “mum will you defraud the council with me so I can get a property because I fancy some independence” you would said “sure” if you couldn’t afford to pay for him to get a place?

on a thread about universal credit discounts for attractions…. Clearly very clearly you ARE claiming UC

Why on earth are you whittling on about rape?

Because the law said until the 90s that there was no such thing as rape within a marriage. You couldn't accuse your husband of raping you. It was seen as his marital right.

Good god, so you’re saying that because of some injustices inherent in the legal system - you don’t have any respect for the law? Sweet Jesus, you are “raising” 4 DC 😞