I am submissive to my husband AMA

[Peachesx2606]

Please AMA but please be kind.

I'm interested in other thoughts/opinions and will try to give mine.

This is just something that seems to work for us x

You have answered no questions regarding the children, especially the eldest two. I shudder to think about that dynamic tbh.
Do you think you are setting a healthy relationship example to your children @Peachesx2606?
Are you worried that the cycle will continue? By cycle i mean your childhood trauma, your parents trauma no doubt.

Surely, they will learn this is how relationships operate, by osmosis? Which will
leave them vulnerable to being abused when they enter into relationships and replicate your behaviours.

You are avoiding the many questions about your free access to money.

'He gives me money' is not free access.

I don't think it is as it is consensual. But it is pretty unusual. And I suppose that's the thing, people will think my husband is abusive when he's not.

Because of private beach, pool, spa, activities is all there. And not much to discover around that area (already done that). Tbh I prefer staying home rather than go on a holiday but the kids love it and I love them so ...

No

So why did you want to talk about it here?

I don't know what you mean.

I will think about that, thank you.

If your husband decided he wanted to be polyamorous and to date/sleep with other women, would you allow him to do that?

It’s warped, to have a partner so meek and timid she can’t make any decisions, and instead of nurturing her and working with her, making her an equal and encouraging her decisions instead to take control and remove her autonomy. Make decisi0ns you want, And I assume give you an allowance, is abusive on some level, it’s taking advantage of your issues

amd then to let you pretend it’s about being feminine is cruel.

I don't understand your posts.

A submissive marriage usually means one partner takes control and what the other person wants they never get unless the dominant partner wants it too.

Is this right?

Is there never a time when you want something and he doesn't?
Like a new kitchen or a style of decor?

Or where you go on holiday?

Some people would call you weak. You give in to whatever he wants.

Why do you do this?

He's not but he could be/become. If he had an accident and became dependant on you that would change the dynamics completely. How would that work?

Also. What if he treated your dc badly/unfairly - would you stand up to him to protect them?

I will be ok. I've been in a marriage with a man that didn't do much and been a single mum.

Does your DH make decisions relating to your DC from a previous marriage?
How old are your DC? Are they involved in decision making?

Urgh!

When I have sex sex with my husband he flings me around and I love it. He is dominant when it comes to sex, because we both enjoy it that way.

Now, lets get back to real life. If he hasn't taken the bins out, after asking 3 times, I'm liable to batter him.

Balance....

To be fair, probably in a cross post, OP did answer a question about her daughters
To say that it's never really occurred to her whether she's setting a good example and she doesn't know. 😫

My first marriage I was 21. This marriage I was 31.

Can you give some practical examples of what this looks like in real life? What kind of things does he decide for you both?

I can tell you something- it doesn't do anyone, male or female, any good to always get their own way in a relationship. They become even more selfish and entitled.
Being together is about compromise, not one person calling all the shots.

Do you think he is more intelligent or something ?
Is that why you defer to him?

Can you give us any actual examples where you have submitted to him, you're being very vague for an AMA. Xx

What happens when you say ‘no’ to the man to whom your are submissive. That for me is an important indicator of the sort of person they are.

Why are you on here without his permission?

Odd to say you are 'submissive' but you are on the internet talking about very private information that affects him since it's related to your marriage and you haven't checked with him first. Truly submissive wives in partriarchal cultures that oppress women can barely leave the house or talk to anyone without their husband's permission so it seems you're using the 'submissive' label only in a cosplay way that appeals superficially but has no real meaning.

I'm guessing you are not really 'submissive' at all but just an attention-seeker, as usual. Why is it that 'submissive' wives have to endlessly post on social media, post online and go to journalists to get attention for their life choices? If you're really confident in your life choice then you wouldn't be seeking attention.

Hello OP, what would you say is the most 'important' decision he has made that you have followed? What decision has he made, that you followed about which you had the greatest reservations? Thanks for answering my questions.

If you vote in a general election does he tell you who to vote for?

If you were to vote for a party he didn't approve of, would you tell him?