I am submissive to my husband AMA

[Peachesx2606]

Please AMA but please be kind.

I'm interested in other thoughts/opinions and will try to give mine.

This is just something that seems to work for us x

Like going to bed at a reasonable time!

Yes, within the next year. I'll deal with it the same way I always have at work.

I never claimed to be original!

I don't know really. Perhaps if there was a lot of controversy between us it wouldn't work.

I wouldn't just give it up. Yes, that could lead to resentment. I don't think he would stop me doing something if it meant a lot to me. Unless he had a very good reason. I'd have to decide if I could accept that.

I think this thread has made me realise our dynamic isn't as extreme as I maybe thought! I don't think anyone other than my best friend and maybe his best friend are particularly aware.

I don't particularly have anyone to negotiate things with. We make plans with family together.

What do you mean by privacy - in what way?

Not anyone I look after/looks up to me.

Maybe I used the wrong terminology.

This has come up a lot. Maybe we are fairly unique but I have a good relationship with the older children's dad as does my husband and he is involved in decisions about them.

I have a lot of ambition! I plan to go back to work in the next year. But yes, I think I used the wrong terminology. And I do encourage my DDs like that and I agree you can be all those things and feminine too.

You keep going on about this bedtime issue.

Can you give any other examples of things he makes you do that you don’t want to (and that he punishes you for if you disobey) apart from him telling you when to go to bed?

Is that seriously the only feature of your so-called submissive/dominant relationship?

I don't see why not! My relationship is nothing like my parents and I'm sure it will evolve and change over time.

It's his choice.

Can I ask you something OP?

I see you're picking some questions that were asked yesterday, almost 24 hours ago.

Are you working through some very old questions and cherry picking the ones you want to answer?

Because the questions that most posters want an answer to are about punishments. And I see that you've not responded.

That's your choice but it's odd. I think you are very clever in fact. Not the unintelligent naive woman you seem to say you are.

Clever, manipulative and enjoying the attention……

Have you asked him why he wants responsibility for another adult? Why would he want your bedtime to be his choice? What other decisions does he make in your behalf? What you eat? When you get up? What you watch or listen to? Who your friends are?

As I'm sure everyone can tell sleep is a big issue for me! Sorry to keep bringing up this example but it is the most common issue. If he tells me to go to bed and I don't then he'll tell me if he's not happy. He's kind but he wouldn't just back down.

How is this any different though to a relationship for example where a man who turns into a twat when he drinks alcohol, and so his wife asks him to stop drinking, then she expresses her anger or frustration when he doesn’t?

If lack of sleep is a big issue for you, then surely it’s normal he’d be telling you to go to bed and then get irritated by the fact you won’t?!

You said if you disobey him, he tells you off, you don't get something you want, or you are sent to bed.

If this isn't just a wind up (I have my doubts) then do you have an example of a time he sent you to bed for disobeying him, or a time he wouldn't let you have something you wanted because you disobeyed him (and what that thing you wanted was)?

it wouldn't be for me But if you're both happy with it then I try not to judge what other people do in their own relationships as long as it's consensual and between adults. I think you're being given a hard time just because other people don't like it for themselves.
I read about a lot of absolutely terrible relationships on this forum where women's feelings are ridden roughshod over by the husbands and partners and they are doing everything financially /Child care/ house care etc. I also roll my eyes at my at the number of my husband would never do that commentators because I suspect many of the husbands would do and probably are doing that whatever that is.
if it works for you or both of you rather then it is great. do you think you have to be a certain sort of personality to be able to be a submissive wife or is it something that you developed over time and practise?

I don’t but someone obviously did!

Cult leader 😂 He is a manager at work. I wouldn't call it a fiefdom!

This is less ask me anything and more ask me about my bedtime routine.

None of my business!

I mean like he was a manly man but wouldn't presume to tell me to do something and expect me to do it.

Things like going to bed (again - sorry!) or staying on the sofa and resting when unwell or maybe going home when I didn't want to. A bigger thing was applying to a different school than I wanted for DD but with good reason, if you see what I mean.

Does your H know you're on social media talking about him?

What do you mean by feminine op?
You keep saying that you are very feminine but what does that mean?
Do you never wear trousers for example?
Do you wear lots of makeup every day?
Do you wear revealing clothes?
What exactly do you mean?